The Random Megaman Parody Show: First Impressions
by Metal Sonic EX
Summary: Each chapter involves one of four of the Megaman series making a parody of something. Rated for strong course language and crude humor. [Complete]
1. Sailor Moon Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might chose to make fun of.

Another fanfic! How fun! Anyways, the way that this fanfic works is that each chapter will be a parody of something else that a certain series of Megaman will do. Just a reminder, I do not own the music used in this fanfic. Other than that, I have nothing to say. So, enjoy the first random Megaman parody!

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Parody #1

A Sailor Moon Parody

By: The X series

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(X and Zero into the camera's view. X stands on the left, facing the camera, and Zero stands on the right, also looking at the camera.)

(A.N. I haven't seen Sailor Moon in a while, so forgive me if I get stuff wrong.)

X - I am Megaman X.

Zero - And I am Zero.

X - We are the distributors of justice in this town, known as Giga City.

Zero - It is our duty to stop anyone who dares to defy the law.

X - And so…

Zero - In the name of justice…

(X and Zero move their left leg farther to their left and point over their arms.)

X - We will kick your ass!

Zero - Damn straight!

(The setting changes to that of a busy, bustling town.)

Narrator - It was just a normal day in Giga City.

(The gang is sitting in a high-school library. X is on the computer, searching up stuff for a school assignment. Zero is on the opposite side of the room, surrounded by Iris, Alia, and Douglas. Signas is sitting at a table, reading _The Catcher In The Rye._ Dynamo is on the opposite side of the table, opening a flask of booze. Then he shoves it into his mouth, guzzling down the contents.)

Narrator - Like I said, your typical, normal day in Giga City.

Zero - Now, now, girls. There will be plenty of me to go around. And, Hey! Douglas! What are you doing by me!

Douglas - Aw, come on, Zero! You can't blame me! Your hair… It's so… SHINY!

Zero - Get away from me! I'm warning you!

(For no obvious reason, the 'Warning, warning!' thing from the games is heard by everyone.)

Zero - Okay…

X - Could you guys keep it down please? I'm trying to study over here.

Zero - Sure, I'll stop when Douglas goes… OW!

Douglas - -admiring a hair sample from Zero- SHINY!

Zero - -punches Douglas-

Dynamo - -drunk- I'm **so** wasted!

Narrator - Yes, sir. It was the perfect day. When, suddenly…

(A crash is heard outside and screams follow shortly afterwards.)

Dynamo - -still drunk- NO! Michael Jackson got someone else!

Zero - No, that is a cry for help!

(More screams are heard)

Zero - As a matter of fact, those are numerous cries for help.

X - Come on, guys! Let's go!

(Everyone runs out of the door, leaving Dynamo and Signas. Zero then runs back inside, grabs Dynamo, and leads him outside.)

Signas - -turns page- I'll be here when you get back.

Narrator - Meanwhile, outside of the school library, our heroes find the last person they **ever** expect!

X - Sigma!

Narrator - Well, sort of…

Sigma - X. Zero. How nice to see you two again!

Zero - Yeah, too bad we couldn't say the same for you, ass-chin!

Sigma - ……… I AM NOT AN ASS-CHIN!

X - Yeah, you are!

Sigma - NO, I'M NOT!

Dynamo - -still drunk- Yeah, ya are. And, might I say that…

Sigma - I'M NOT AN ASS-CHIN! And, no. You can say that I'm the prettiest thing that you ever saw.

X/Zero - -chanting- ASS-CHIN! ASS-CHIN! ASS-CHIN! ASS-CHIN!

Sigma - ENOUGH! Vile, kill them!

Vile - -smoking- Sorry, boss. I'm on my lunch break.

Sigma - You're a robot! You don't need to eat!

Vile - I do now. -walks away-

X - Come on, Zero! Let's get this ass-chin!

Zero - Right!

(X begins spinning around and when he stops, he has his Ultimate Armor on. Zero spins around and when he stops, his armor becomes black.)

Zero - What the hell!

X - -laughing his head off- You're the sidekick in this parody! The sidekick's outfit **never** outdoes the main character's.

Metal Sonic EX - Until now……… -turns Zero Night Shade armor into his Absolute Zero armor from Command Mission- Bye now! -leaves-

Zero - -looks like a bat- KICK ASS… CHIN!

Sigma - STOP IT!

Zero - Make me! You can't stop me! I've outdone the main character's outfit!

Sigma - -thinking- SHIT! He's right! I don't have a chance!

Dynamo - -does the spinning thing and emerges with a tutu on- Hey, guys. Guess what?

X - You're gay?

Dynamo - No. I'm sober!

(A girl screams in the distance and the camera cracks)

Sigma - MY GOD! IT'S A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! -runs away screaming-

X - ………

Zero - ………

Dynamo - ……… -scratches butt-

Zero - Well, now that that's over, what do you say that… -notices that his fan girls are gone- What in the world?

Narrator - Meanwhile…

Vile - Well, girls. What me to show you what I'd do to Zero if he was here?

Alia/ Iris - -nodding like crazy-

Vile - -chuckles- Good…

Zero - NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Zero throws his clawed hands in the air and rains starts falling)

X - Serves you right for outdoing my costume. -starts walking away-

Zero - Where are you going?

X - Home.

Dynamo - -drunk again- I want a home, where the buffalo roam…

Zero - Mind if I tag along?

X - Not at all.

(X and Zero start walking home, leaving Dynamo dancing around in his tutu as some French tourists walk up and start taking pictures)

Signas - -turns another page- I'm still here waiting for you guys.

Narrator - Meanwhile, elsewhere in town…

Sigma - RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! HE'S SOBER! SOBER! -runs into a busy intersection and gets hits numerous times-

Passerby #1 - Do you think we should call for help?

Passerby #2 - Nah. He was probably a nutcase anyways.

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Like it? E-mail me and tell me what you think. That is, of course, if you want to. Anyways, please Read and Review! 


	2. The Ring Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might chose to make fun of.

Well, here we are again. Another chapter and already having the time of my life writing these fanfics. I have plenty more ideas, so keep Read and Reviewing if you want them to see the light of day. Anyways, I still don't own the music used in this fanfic. Or any other fanfic for that moment… Ah, well. Enjoy another parody!

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Parody #2

A Parody of The Ring

By: The X series

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Narrator - It was another peaceful day in Giga City.

(X is on his home computer finishing the assignment for school. He just finishes when there's a knock at his door.)

X - I wonder who that could be?

Narrator - X answered the door and found himself face-to-face with the last person he ever expected…

X - Oh, hey, Zero. I kind of expected to see you.

Narrator - Well, maybe not the **last** person, but he was real close!

(Zero walks in holding a videotape.)

Zero - Hey, X. Listen. Have you ever seen something so scary, you just **had** to show someone else?

X - I can't say that I have.

Zero - Good, cause this isn't like that. This is something I picked up at Blockbuster.

X - Where's the case?

Zero - I didn't say I paid for it, did I?

X - Oh.

Zero - I just thought you might want to check it out for me.

X - Um, sure. Why?

Zero - Because. I've got Blockbuster goons on me! Bye!

(Zero runs off and two security guards chase after him.)

X - Okay…

(X shuts the door and walks to the living room, where he inserts the tape.)

X - I wonder what this is?

(The screen flashes on and shows a well. The well scene is replaced with…)

X - A RICHARD SIMMONS TRAINING VIDEO! OH MY…

(The brief Richard Simmons scene is replaced with one of Sigma tweaking his nipples.)

X -AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(The TV cracks. The scene is soon replaced with one of a empty, white room.)

X - -breathing heavily- I have just been scarred for life.

(The scene changes back to the well and shortly thereafter, the tape runs out.)

X - Well, I see what Zero meant by it being scary enough to show someone else. Speaking of which, I wonder how Zero is doing?

Narrator - Meanwhile, elsewhere in Giga City…

Blockbuster goons - Stop, blondie!

Zero - Oh, you did **not** just call me that!

(Zero stops and proceeds to beat the stuffing out of the goons from Blockbuster)

Narrator - Back at X's house…

X - Ah, well. I'm sure he's just fine.

(The phone rings.)

X - Uh oh.

(X picks the phone up and puts it to his ear.)

X - Hello?

Hoarse voice on the other side of the line - You have seven days…

X - -rolls his eyes- Nice try, Axl.

Axl - You're no fun. But I'm serious. Some weirdo just came by and told me to call you and say that you had seven days. What do you think?

(X drops the receiver and just stares into space.)

Axl - Hello? Hello? Fine! Be that way, you fag.

(X snaps back to reality and snatches up the receiver.)

X - I'm going to kill you for that!

(Axl hangs up, as does X.)

X - Note to self: Kill Axl in an odd and twisted way later.

X - Well, if Axl was right, then I'd better get started.

(X walks out of the door, locks it, and takes a huge whiff of air.)

X -HELLO WOR…

(A pot falls on X's head.)

_A few days later…_

(X come to and finds himself in a hospital bed.)

X -What the…

Doctor - Ah, X. You're awake.

X - DR. DOPPLER!

Dr. Doppler - Yes? Well, who'd you expect? Doctor Doolittle?

X - How long have I been unconscious?

Doppler - You been knocked out for some time. As a matter of fact…

X - I need numbers please! My life might depend on it!

Doppler - -sigh- Six and a half days. Why?

(X's eyes bugged out and he spun to look at the clock. He saw that he had an hour left!)

X - DAMN POT!

(X leapt out of bed, grabs and puts on his clothes, and run out of the door.)

Doppler - Ah. So, it was drugs. I figured that. -begins writing in his notebook-

X - SHIT! I have an hour before I die! And I still don't… WAIT!

(X stops and remembers what was on the tape, shuddering afterwards.)

X - I've got it! Richard Simmons must be a friend of Sigma's! In which case, that would mean that Sigma is gay! Which means that he did that horrifyingly obscene gesture in public! Which means that he'd be at…

(The camera view changes suddenly changes from a hospital to the far away view of the local insane asylum. X walks up to the front desk.)

X - Um, excuse me. Was a mister Sigma submitted into…

Clerk - THAT NAME! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

X -I'll take that as a yes. I'll just go and see him now…

Narrator - Meanwhile, in a large white room…

(Sigma sits in the corner with a straight jacket on. A plate of food sits not too far from him. He is trying to bend over and eat some of it, but he can't bend over that far.)

Sigma - Damn straight jacket!

(The door opens suddenly and a person in white clothing comes in.)

Person - Mr. Sigma, you have a…

(X suddenly reached his hand in and shoved the person behind him.)

X - YOU'VE GOT A VISITOR, BITCH!

Sigma - Ah, X. I've been expecting you.

X - I'll bet you were, you sick bastard. Why? What was the video tape's purpose?

Sigma - Oh, it's purpose? Well, I got bored. I wanted some company.

X - Um, okay. What about the weirdo who talked to Axl?

Sigma - Just some bum who thought that I was his grandmother.

X - Right… And the time limit?

Sigma - How long I had until I'm executed.

X - They're executing you?

Sigma - Yup. Gay haters.

X - Right… WAIT! What about the well? What was the relevance in that?

Sigma - Ah, yes. Well, you see, X. If I've calculated the events leading up to this moment correctly, I think that Zero…

Narrator - Meanwhile, at a well in a distant part of the forest…

(Zero drags the bodies of the two Blockbuster goons, who he had killed unintentionally while beating them to a pulp, up to the well and lifts one of them onto his shoulders.)

Zero - In ya go, ugly.

(A splash can be heard when the guard hits the water.)

Zero - Your turn!

(Again, a splash can be heard when the guard hits the water. Zero then closes the well.)

Zero - Phew! That was close.

(Zero looked up and saw two people talking by the edge of a cliff.)

Zero - Cool! Someone's going to commit suicide! This I've got to see!

(Zero began running towards the cliff, but stumbled when he hit a rock. Unfortunately, he stumbled off the cliff.)

Zero - AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(The two pedestrians wince when they see Zero hit the water.)

Pedestrian #1 - Poor guy. Forgot his rope.

Pedestrian #2 - Wanna race down?

Pedestrian #1 - Sure!

(The two bungie-jumpers then jump off the cliff and race to see if Zero survived.)

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Well? The way I see it, if Sephiroth doing the Fantasia dance in _Video Game Village_ didn't scar you for life, then the obscene Sigma gesture should! Anyways, Read and Review please! 


	3. Amityville Horror Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

Well, here we are again. And I'm happy to report that this parody isn't going to be done by the X series. It's going to be done by the classic Megaman crew. I saw the movie recently, so don't flame me if I become brain-dead on some things that I might of forgotten already. Enjoy!

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Parody #3

A Parody of The Amityville Horror

By: The Classic Megaman series

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(Megaman, Protoman, and Bass are touring through a house in Amityville. The salesperson is Wily in disguise.)

Wily - And here, we have the kitchen. That brings us to the end of our tour. Any questions?

Bass - COOL! A butcher knife!

(Bass removes it from the knife rack thing and begins twirling it in the air.)

Protoman - Knock that off! You're going to…

(Bass twirls the knife one more and it gets stuck in the ceiling like a pencil.)

Bass - Oops.

Megaman - Yeah. I have two questions. First, why are you dressed like that, Wily?

Wily - WHAT? I'M NOT WILY! WHO IS THIS WILY YOU SPEAK OF?

Megaman - Okay… Second, what's that giant blood stain over there from?

(Megaman points to a blood stain that takes up almost the whole wall. Wily runs over a nails a sheet over it.)

Wily - BLOOD STAIN? WHAT BLOOD STAIN? I DON'T SEE A BLOOD STAIN!

Bass - Whatever. We'll take it.

Protoman - Are you serious? We don't have nearly enough money!

Bass - -smashes his fist into his hand- I said we'll **take** it. I never mentioned paying for it.

(Megaman and Protoman shrug and proceed to help Bass beat Wily to a pulp. Wily crawls out of the front door and someone pulls him back in. He suddenly is punched through the roof and goes flying off into the distance.)

Protoman - Thanks, Wily!

(A couple of days later, all of their stuff is moved into the house. Dr. Light, Roll, Bass, Megaman, Protoman, and Auto are at the dinner table.)

Dr. Light - Did you know that a family was murdered in this house?

Roll - That's awful!

Dr. Light - That's true.

Auto - That's weird.

Megaman - That's sick.

Protoman - That's boring.

Bass - THAT'S AWESOME!

(Everyone stops eating and looks at Bass.)

Bass - What?

Narrator - That night…

(Bass is tossing and turning. Voices ring through his head.)

Voices - Catch them! Kill them! Catch them! Kill them!

Bass - -wakes up- YES! I WILL CATCH THEM! I WILL KILL THEM!

(Protoman turns on the lights. He, along with everyone else, has an annoyed look on their face.)

Protoman - What are you talking about?

Bass - I MUST OBEY THE VOICES!

(Bass runs past everybody and comes back in a few seconds with a mousetrap. He places it in the corner and backs up.)

Bass - Come on. Come on.

(A mouse pokes his nose out of the hole, see the mousetrap, sees the cheese on the mousetrap, and darts for it. It gets killed as it sniffs the cheese.)

Bass - YES!

(The voices start talking again, but this time, everyone can hear it.)

Voices - Thank you.

Protoman - Okay. Am I the only one who was creeped out by that?

Narrator - The next morning…

(Bass is investigating the boat house. He finds an ax in a boat.)

Bass - Who would leave this here?

(He turns around and a demon jumps at him. He attacks the demon as a reflex and hacks it to pieces.)

Bass - Die, demon, die!

Protoman - Hold it! Hold it! Script please!

Bass - What do you need the script for?

Protoman - -gets handed the script- Look at this. See, right here. You're supposed to kill the **DOG** which you think is a demon.

Bass - So?

(Protoman points at the ground and Bass sees Auto hacked to pieces by some sort of sharp metal blade.)

Bass - Oh. Ah, well. No one likes him anyways.

Protoman - -throws the script aside- The show must go on!

Narrator - That night…

(Everyone is eating dinner again and Bass asks Dr. Light a question.)

Bass - Dr. Light? What can you tell us about this murdered family?

Dr. Light - Well, some guy in the family shot everyone else while they slept with a shotgun. Later, he told officials that voices had told him to do it.

Protoman - Sounds like drugs to me.

Dr. Light - Perhaps, but the family were killed in the rooms that we are sleeping in.

Bass - Well, that explains this.

(Bass leans over a lifts a severed hand so that everyone can see it.)

Bass - Found this under my pillow last night. I found it because some psychotic fairy thing claiming to be the Tooth Fairy was lifting my pillow trying to grab it.

Dr. Light. - So, where is she now?

Bass - Back in her own world. I cut off her hand too.

(Bass holds up another severed hand. However, this one appears to have been chewed off rather than cut off.)

Megaman - Right… Hey, guys? Have any of you seen Auto?

Roll - No.

Dr. Light - No.

Bass - No.

Protoman - Bass hacked him to death with an ax.

Bass - Did not!

Protoman - Do you recognize this?

(Protoman lifts an ax with miscellaneous wires and such on the blade.)

Bass - Hey! I recognize that! That's the ax I used to… Oops.

Roll - How could you Bass? I thought you loved me!

(Roll lifts Ring Man who is still sitting in the ring box Bass used to propose to her.)

-Flashback-

Bass - Roll Light, will you marry me?

Roll - -gets all teary-eyed-

(Bass opens the ring box and Roll starts when she sees Ring Man sitting there.)

Roll - What the…

Ring Man - I was forced to do this. I swear.

-End Flashback-

Ring Man - I still say that I was forced to do this.

Bass - Oh my God! It was in the script, people! Don't you ever read it?

(Everyone, Ring Man included, shakes their heads.)

Megaman - No. Only people who still live in the 70's do that. Why? Do you read them?

Bass - What if I do…

Megaman - Hippie.

Narrator - Even later that night…

(Bass is hearing the voices again.)

Voices - Catch them! Kill them! Catch them! Kill them!

Bass - Is it another mouse?

Voices - Catch them! Kill them! Catch them! Kill them!

Bass - I'll take that as a no.

Voices - Catch them! Kill them! Catch them! Kill them!

Bass - Screw this! I'm going to the basement.

Narrator - In the basement…

Bass - Thank God! No more of that 'Catch them! Kill them!' crap! I wonder what they mean in the first place?

(A Pikachu walks in for no reason.)

Pikachu - Pikachu.

Bass - -slaps face- Of course! **THAT'S** what they meant!

(Bass begins chasing the Pikachu all over the basement,)

Narrator - The next day…

(Dr. Light opens the door wearing a white robe and pink bunny slippers. He makes his way down the stairs, his slippers squeaking with every step. When he reaches the edge of the driveway, he bends over and grabs the newspaper, farting in the process. He squeaks his way back in the house and walks into the kitchen. The butcher knife from the beginning of the chapter falls from the ceiling and nails Dr. Light in the head. He falls down, dead as Roll enters the room.)

Roll - Aw, he's so cute when he's sleeping!

Megaman - Roll, he's like seventy years old!

Roll - So?

Protoman - Hey guys! He's not sleeping. He's dead!

Roll/ Megaman - What!

(Bass walks in and sees the three huddled around Dr. Light's body.)

Bass - Huh?

(Bass sees the butcher knife in Dr. Light's head.)

Bass - Hey, cool! I've been wondering where that is!

(Bass removes the knife from Dr. Light's head.)

Protoman - What are you going to do with that?

Bass - You know those voices that keep saying 'Catch them! Kill them!'?

Protoman - Yeah…

(Pikachu peeks his head into the room, but freaks and runs away when he sees Bass. Bass starts walking after it.)

Bass - Finally figured out what that meant.

Narrator - Meanwhile, outside…

(Wily is aiming a giant laser at the house.)

Wily - I'll show you who's boss!

(Wily fires a shot and the house blows up.)

Wily - Ha ha. That'll teach you to mess with me!

(Wily turns around and sees Dr. Light, Megaman, Roll, Bass, and Protoman in the front seat of a U-haul.)

Bass - Told you he's crazy.

Wily - WHAT! BUT, I JUST……… THIS CAN'T BE……… YOU CHEATERS!

Dr. Light - We're not cheaters, Wily. We just took longer than expected to gather all of our stuff. Those were just stunt doubles, clones, or something like that.

Wily - I HATE YOU ALL!

(Wily runs away, crying. He doesn't see the twinkle in the air and the butcher knife lands in Wily's head. He falls down, dead.)

Megaman - Wow. Talk about convenient.

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Well, I don't know about you, but I found that pretty funny. Ah, well. Please Read and Review! 


	4. Monty Python and the Holy Grail Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

Here we go! Another parody for your reading pleasure! This time, it's a parody of a famous comedy. It also happens to be one of the funniest movies I've ever seen, if not, **THE** funniest! Enjoy!

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Parody #4

A Parody of Monty Python and the Holy Grail

By: The Classic Megaman series

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(Megaman is walking through a forest and Wily, dressed in weird armor, is waiting.)

Megaman - Hey, Wily.

Wily - I am not Wily! I am the knight who does this: -does the eyebrow thing-

Megaman - OH GOD NO!

Knight Who Does This - If you plan to pass through these woods alive, you must leave and bring me back… A SHRUBBERY! -Climatic music plays in the background-

Megaman - Um, okay. -pulls one from behind his back-

Knight Who Does This - Um, okay. In that case, you must bring me back… A FORD F-150 PICKUP TRUCK! -Climatic music plays again-

(Megaman pushes a button and a pickup truck falls behind Wily.)

Knight Who Does This - Fine. A McDonald's Big Mac.

Megaman - -hands him one-

Knight Who Does This - A chipmunk!

Megaman - -catches one that was running by-

Knight Who Does This - A box of Rice-O-Roni!

(Several hours later)

Knight Who Does This - MICHAEL JACKSON'S NOSE!

Megaman - Aw, man! That cost me 30,000 Zenny on Ebay! -hands it over-

Knight Who Does This - THE KEYS TO THE MONSTER TRUCK GRAVE DIGGER!

Megaman - -tosses them to him-

Knight Who Does This - A COPY OF MEGAMAN ANNIVERSARY COLLECTION!

(Several more hours later)

Knight Who Does This - THE REASON WHY DINOSAURS ARE EXTINCT!

Megaman - An asteroid hit Earth.

Knight Who Does This - BRITTANY SPEARS' LATEST CD!

Megaman - -hands it over-

Knight Who Does This - OKAY! WHAT DON'T YOU HAVE?

Megaman - Um, well. I don't have any money.

Knight Who Does This - HA! YOU MUST GIVE ME TWO CENTS! HA HA!

Megaman - -lifts his foot- Oh, wait! What's this? -pulls two pennies out of the gum on his shoe-

Knight Who Does This - WHY YOU… YOU… ARGH!

(The Knight Who Does This begins shaking his head rapidly and it soon blows up.)

Megaman - Can I have Michael Jackson's nose back?

Narrator - Elsewhere…

(Bass, Protoman, and Roll are approaching a fog-covered bridge. An old man stands near the beginning of it.)

Protoman - I've heard of this bridge. It's called the bridge of death. You must answer three questions in order to cross. If you get a question wrong, you're thrown into the underworld.

Bass - This is going to be easy.

(Bass walks up to the old man.)

Old man - Stop! First, you must answer these questions three and then the other side you may see.

Bass - Dr. Light?

Dr. Light - SSSHHH! I'm called 'the Bridgekeeper' here, okay?

Bass - Um, okay.

Dr. Light - First, what is your name?

Bass - You're kidding me, right?

Dr. Light - ANSWER IT!

Bass - -jumps- Bass! Just don't hurt me!

Dr. Light - Next, what is your quest?

Bass - I'm going for… a walk?

Dr. Light - Third question. What…

(A long silence follows.)

Bass - What…

Dr. Light - IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR!

Bass - Um, red?

Dr. Light - Oh, well. I guess I'll see you around then.

Bass - Okay…

(Bass crosses the bridge and Protoman approaches.)

Dr. Light - What is your name?

Protoman - Um, Protoman. Remember?

Dr. Light - What is your quest?

Protoman - I just want to find out how to be left alone.

Dr. Light - What…

(Another long silence follows.)

Dr. Light - IS THE CAPITAL OF AUSTRALIA?

Protoman - What happens if I say that I don't know?

(Protoman lifts off of the ground and is thrown into the bottomless abyss below the bridge.)

Roll - Protoman!

Protoman - I'm still alive. And it feels like I'm on… Jell-O?

Roll - Jell-O?

Ring Man - I'm next.

Dr. Light - What is your name?

Ring Man - I am Ring Man. The strongest Robot Master in the world!

Dr. Light - What is your quest?

Ring Man - To become stronger than Megaman!

Dr. Light - What…

(Yet another long pause followed.)

Dr. Light - IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR!

Ring Man - Blue. NO, GREEN!

(Ring Man lifts off of the ground and is thrown into the bottomless abyss below the bridge.)

Roll - Ring Man!

Ring Man - Still alive! Hey, wait. This is Jell-O!

Protoman - Told you so.

(Roll approaches Dr. Light.)

Dr. Light - What is your name?

Roll - I'm Roll.

Dr. Light - What is your quest?

Roll - To get Protoman and Ring Man back.

Dr. Light - What…

(One last long silence follows.)

Dr. Light - IS THE FIRST MEGAMAN GAME TO FEATURE WEAKNESSES!

Roll - Depends. Which system do you mean? NES? PS2? Gamecube? X-Box perhaps?

Dr. Light - Well, I don't know that.

(Dr. Light lifts off of the ground and is thrown into the bottomless abyss below the bridge. However, he continues falling to the underworld. Protoman and Ring Man crawl there way up to the other side of the bridge.)

Bass - What happened to the Jell-O?

Ring Man - We ate it! What do you think we did with it?

Narrator - Elsewhere…

(Auto and Megaman approach a giant cave that appeared out of nowhere.)

Megaman - What the…

Auto - This is the cave that is said to hold the deadliest obstacle on the planet as its guardian.

Megaman - What's the deadliest obstacle in the world?

(The floor in front of the cave turns into a floor of spikes.)

Megaman - CRAP! I can't cross this! But maybe…

(Megaman calls Rush down.)

Megaman - Go into the cave, boy!

Rush - Woof! Woof!

(Rush proceeds to walk over the spikes and enter the cave.)

Megaman - WHAT! HOW CAN RUSH STEP ON SPIKES WITHOUT DYING INSTANTLY, BUT I CAN'T!

Auto - From what I hear, Dr. Light ran out of the special metal he used.

Megaman - I'm going to tear him a new hole when I find him!

(Rush exits the cave and a monster follows after him.)

Megaman - GO! DOG! GO!

Narrator - Suddenly, Metal Sonic EX suffered a fatal heart attack!

Metal Sonic EX - No, I didn't I just got hungry. -leaves-

(The monster stops and disappears.)

Megaman - Um, okay.

Auto - So, what do we do now?

Megaman - Wait until Metal Sonic EX writes our next parody.

Auto - That's it?

Megaman - That's it.

* * *

I like this chapter. But, then again, I like all of my chapters! Anyways, I'm still unsure of what series will be doing the next parody, but I'll figure it out. Also, Read and Review or you'll end up like Dr. Light or Wily! 


	5. The Fast and the Furious Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

Well, it took me a while to figure it out, but I've finally managed to make another parody! Just so you know, I haven't seen the movie for quite some time. I'm merely writing what I found on a summary on the Internet. So, here it is! My next parody!

* * *

Parody #5

A Parody of The Fast and The Furious

By: The Legends series

* * *

(The setting is a closed-off street in New York. The crowd is roaring as numerous cars pull up to the starting line. The favorite in this race is Megaman Voulnut. His friend, Data, is dancing in the back seat. Megaman pulls into first. He smirks and rolls down his window as a car pulls up next to him and rolls down its window. Megaman Juno looks over and smiles.)

Juno - What up, bitch?

Megaman - You're going down, bitch!

(Tron Bonne walks up and holds two flags in the air.)

Tron - Ready…

Juno - No, I'm not.

Megaman - Really? Why?

Tron - Set…

Juno - Because prior to this race, I took the liberty of removing your engine.

Megaman - WHAT!

Tron - Go!

(Everyone speeds by Megaman as he just sits there, dumbfounded.)

Megaman - Then how'd I pull up?

(Megaman looks behind him and sees Teasel trying to push the car forward.)

Teasel - I could use some help here!

Megaman - Oh… In that case, I have no choice.

(Megaman grabs Data, who begins kicking and screaming, and exits his car. He walks up to the hood and he opens it.)

Data - Let me go!

Megaman - Have it your way.

(Megaman throws Data into the space were the engine should be, throws him some wires, and slams the hood down.)

Megaman - Get to work!

(Data grumbles as he begins his dance again. He rubs his hands together so fast, it starts the car.)

Megaman - Here we go! WHOO!

(Megaman slams his foot on the gas pedal and he goes flying off, dragging Teasel with him.)

Teasel - Help!

Megaman - Shut up and hold on!

(Megaman sees Juno's car not to far ahead of him. Megaman pulls up to Juno's side.)

Megaman - You're a dead man!

Juno - Well, you've somehow outsmarted me. However, winning this race is still out of your league. So, give up.

(Juno lifts his floating arm and shoots a laser from it. It goes right through the windows, hits another car, and makes that car blow up.)

Juno - Whose automobile was that?

Megaman - I think that that was Glyde.

Juno - Oh… So, in other words, nobody important, right?

Megaman - Not really. Personally, I wanted to throw out of his own ship while it was in the air.

Juno - I see…

Teasel - Help me!

Megaman - Shut up and hold on!

(Megaman activates his nitrous and goes flying past Juno as Teasel lets go, falls through the air, and gets hit by Juno.)

Juno - Thank you for nothing, carbon! I paid an abnormally large sum of money for that windshield which you have just so rudely cracked.

(Glyde drives by and shouts out his window.)

Glyde - Go back to your own country, bitch! We don't need your ching chang chongs here!

(A.N. A few people might take this as a somewhat racist remark. I'd like to apologize in advance to anyone that this statement might offend. I'm not racist, nor is this statement intended to be racist. It's just supposed to be making fun off the way Juno talks.)

Juno - Hmmm……… If that was Glyde, then whose car did I blow up?

(The scene changes to Mistress Sera, surrounded by miscellaneous car parts.)

Sera - I'll kill him for that!

Juno - Ah, well! It was still probably someone not important!

(The scene changes back to Megaman's car.)

Megaman - How are you doing, Data?

Data - -sweating like crazy- I could use a rest!

Megaman - You're fine!

(The scene changes to where Glyde and Juno are shouting at each other.)

Glyde - You're nothing but a floating… Thingamabob!

Juno - Perhaps. But at least I appeared in the first Legends game. You had to wait until _The Misadventures of Tron Bonne._

Glyde - Damn it! Capcom said that they weren't going to tell anyone! Those bastards!

(Juno gasps.)

Glyde - What?

(Juno's floating hand flies through Glyde's window and begins to slap the crap out of his face.)

Juno - Naughty! Naughty! Naughty!

(The scene reverts back to Megaman's car and he looks outside the window to see Teasel riding a bicycle. The odd thing is that Teasel's bicycle was going the same speed as Megaman's car.)

Teasel - I nearly died because of you!

Megaman - You've nearly died a lot more than just once because of me.

Teasel - Oh yeah… But I'll kick your ass just for the fun of… -disappears-

(Let's do that in slow motion, shall we not!)

Teeeeeaaaaassseeelllll ---- Bbbbbbbbbuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttttttt IIIII'llllllllll kkkkkkkiiiiiiiiiicccccckkkkkkkkkk yyyyyyyyoooooooouuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrr aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssss juuuuuuuuuuuussssssstttttttttttttttt fooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrr tttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeee fffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnn ooooooooooooooooooooffffffffff…………………………… -rides into a wall-

(Now let's go back to normal speed.)

Megaman - That was not only weird, but it was also retarded, odd, unusual, funny, random, and annoying.

(The scene goes back to Juno's car.)

Juno - pulls his hand back- Well, that was oddly entertaining.

Glyde - -has a face cast that covers his eyes-

Juno - Wait! How can he see if his eyes are covered?

Metal Sonic EX - -chuckles- That's just it…

Glyde - -drives off of a cliff-

Metal Sonic EX - He can't! -laughs like a maniac-

Juno - Right…

(The scene goes back to Megaman's car. He can see the finish line.)

Megaman - Yes! I did it! I'm gonna win! I'm gonna…

Appo and Dah - drives past him and wins the race- Yah! We won! We won!

(A.N. Appo and Dah are the two retarded kids from _Megaman Legends 2._ I just felt like adding them in here.)

Megaman - -jaw drops to the floor- Oh, that's it!

(Megaman runs the two brothers over and jumps out of his car as it drives into the freeway and gets run over by a semi.)

Crowd - ……… -begins cheering Megaman's name- Hercules! Hercules!

Megaman - Wrong movie!

(Roll runs up and hugs Megaman.)

Roll - You won! But, wait… Wasn't Data still in the car?

Megaman - ………

Crowd - ………

Megaman - Oops.

(The crowd, who is secretly a mob of Data fan club members, lift pitchforks and torches.)

Megaman - Oh crap…

(Megaman turns and starts running for his life as the mob goes after him. Juno's car comes out of nowhere, runs Megaman over, and comes to a screeching halt no-to-far away. Juno exits his car.)

Crowd - ………

Juno - ………

Crowd - ………

Juno - ………

Crowd - CRUNCHY!

(Everyone turns and starts heading for Taco Bell.)

* * *

I'm sorry that this was a relatively short chapter. The next chapter will be the Legends series again and after that, I plan on having two parodies with the Megaman Zero series. I don't know the Megaman EXE series well enough, so I probably won't include them in this fanfic. Unless of course I learn more about them, but until then…

Anyways, the next parody, as I mentioned, will be the Legends series. The idea came to mind after I did something. I can't exactly remember what I did, but… Anyways, Read and Review and I shall continue!


	6. Austin Powers Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

Okay, this is going to end up being one seriously screwed up chapter. The reason is probably the subject of this chapter's parodies and the available characters that I have to choose from. And yes, I do plan on making a different parody that is mentioned in this chapter. So now, parody number six!

* * *

Parody #6

A Parody of Austin Powers

By: The Legends series

* * *

(The setting is Kattelox Island. The Austin Powers theme starts as blue armored feet cross in front of the camera. People on the other side of the street stop and gape at the figure, who you should know as Megaman. Tron and Teasel Bonne enter Downtown and see people looking at Megaman as he walks in a weird fashion down the sidewalk.)

Teasel - Hey, isn't that…

Tron - Quick! Avert your gaze!

(Megaman jumps up into the air and the scene freezes that way as 'Megaman Voulnut' pops up next to him. Below this, you can see the words 'Person Who Takes Crack'. The scene and Megaman's odd dance resumes.)

Megaman - -enters Uptown and points- Hey, look! It's Ashlee Simpson!

(Ashlee starts bouncing on her feet and is about to sing a song when a tape recorder that is behind her starts playing the same song with her already singing it. She does a nervous jig and slinks away.)

Megaman - Yeah! Get out of here! That'll teach you to lip synch!

(Megaman looks around and jumps in the air again. The Austin Powers theme fades out. The scene changes to the outskirts of Nino Island. The Dr. Evil sound effect is heard as the camera zooms in quickly and stops on Juno putting his pinky to the edge of his lip. Juno turns around and begins hovering towards the table.)

Juno - All right everybody. Let's begin.

('Number Two' raises his hand.)

Juno - Yes, Number Two?

('Number Two', otherwise known as Bon Bonne, lowers his hand.)

Bon - Babu babu babu. Babu!

Juno - Uh huh……… Listen, I don't speak freaky, deaky Dutch!

(Tron and Teasel walk in for no apparent reason.)

Teasel - Well, actually, that's all he can say.

Juno - So, what? He's like one of those Pokemon things?

Tron - Well… Not exactly…

Juno - Right. Just sit down so we can start.

(Tron and Teasel take their seats and a large screen is lowered from the ceiling.)

Juno - Okay everybody. Here's the plan.

(Some large, powerful-looking laser appears on the screen.)

Juno - This is an advanced version of Eden.

Bon - Babu babu babu…

Juno - Silence Number Two!

Bon - -shuts up-

(Juno turns around and does the finger thing for everything that is in these: "")

Juno - That's better. Now, we'll use this "laser" to shoot a highly advanced and powerful "laser beam". This "laser beam" is much more powerful than anything that we've ever came up with before. It will rewrite the laws of physics, making anything that was impossible possible and making anything possible impossible. We will call this plan…

(The Dr. Evil sound effect plays again as Juno puts his pinky back to his lip.)

Juno - Mission Impossible.

(Tron raises her hand.)

Juno - Yes, what is it?

Tron - Mission Impossible was a famous movie. I don't think that the copyrights would allow to use this as a plan name.

Juno - Fine! Anyone have any ideas?

Tron - How about Preparation H?

Juno - We've already tried Preparation H!

Servbots - Potato chips! We want potato chips!

Juno - What do you think we're making? A shopping list! Oh, forget it! We'll call this plan…

(Juno does the pinky thing.)

Juno - Operation Zucchini Bread!

(Juno begins laughing and is soon joined by everyone else. Juno suddenly stops and begin waving his hands in the air.)

Juno - Whoa whoa whoa! I just remembered something. Tron, call for my clone!

Tron - Right away sir.

(Tron leans her head back and shouts at the top of her lungs, making everyone jump.)

Tron - BRING IN THE CLONE!

(Two Servbots come in, escorting a small, monkey-like object that is saying rude comments about Megaman. He crawled up onto the table and everyone saw Data standing there.)

Juno - smiles And I shall call him…

(Juno does the pinky thing with the Dr. Evil sound effect afterwards.)

Juno - Chibi-Me!

(Juno is about to start laughing when Megaman, the Inspector, and the police force come in through the doors.)

Megaman - I don't think so! You're plans are all seriously ungroovy, man! Yeah!

Juno - Oh come on! We didn't even start the plan yet!

(Dr. Psyche, from Megaman X: Command Mission, walks in and begins twirling his fingers in Megaman's direction.)

Dr. Psyche - Quit your bumbling and get them!

Juno - Um… Dr. Psyche…

Dr. Psyche - Yes?

Juno - What are you doing here?

Dr. Psyche - You mean that this isn't the Command Mission parody?

Megaman - -speaking in his normal voice- Uh… Not exactly. The Command Mission parody is kind of still like… What? Three chapters away?

Dr. Psyche - Well, the hell with this!

(Dr. Psyche turns around and begins waddling away.)

Juno - Well, that was… Interesting to say the least.

Megaman - -talking like Austin Powers- You're telling me, baby! Yeah!

Narrator - A few hours later…

(Juno is sitting in the police station lobby with Tron, Teasel, Bon Bonne, the Servbots, and Data.)

Juno - Why are we out here?

Random Officer - Oh, we're to damn cheap to build a jail for criminals! So, we just let them sit in here.

Juno - Okay…

(Juno motions for everyone to huddle and they do so.)

Juno - Okay. Here's the plan…

Servbots - Do we get our potato chips?

Tron - No! Be quiet!

Servbots - Hey, wait! We never appeared in the last parody!

Juno - -starts- Hey, you're right! Everyone here appeared except the Servbots and Number Two. Why is that?

Tron - Well, you see… Metal Sonic EX grew a bit lazy during the last parody, so he'll just throw some random flashback in this chapter.

(Everyone grows silent for a few seconds.)

Teasel - So, when does this flashback occur?

Tron - I don't know. That's why they call it…

-Flashback-

(Tron shouts 'Go', the race starts, and Tron jumps into her own car. She speeds away with Bon Bonne in the back seat and a Servbot in the passenger's seat.)

Tron - Here we go!

Bon Bonne - Babu. Babu babu babu?

Tron - I'll tell you how we'll win! I merely have the other 39 Servbots sabotage all of the other racers until there's no one left but me!

Bon - Babu babu?

Tron - Of course it'll work! Besides, I've got thirty-nine Servbots………

(Tron's car is thrown into the air as they run something over. Tron pokes her head out of the window and pulls it back in.)

Tron - Oops. I meant to say that I have thirty-eight…

(They run something over again.)

Tron - Thirty-seven…

(Flash forward to around the time that Juno blows up Mistress Sera's car.)

Tron - -hits something- Twenty-three…

Tron - -hits something else- Twenty-two…

Tron - -hits something again- Twenty-one… I think I'm starting to see a pattern…

(Tron looks out of her window and sees Mistress Yuna flying by on top of Gatz.)

Tron - CHEATER!

(Mistress Yuna turns and gives Tron the bird.)

Yuna - Up yours, carbon! Weeeeeee!

(Yuna and Gatz fly higher into the air and, seconds later, there is a loud explosion and some burning debris that is Gatz falls to the ground.)

Bon - Babu babu?

Tron - I don't know. Anti-air force maybe?

(Flash forward to around the time when Juno goes 'Naughty! Naughty! Naughty!'.)

Tron - -hits something- Twelve…

Tron - -hits something else- Eleven…

Tron - -hits something again- Ten… I'm definitely seeing a pattern…

(Flash forward to when the crowd says 'Crunchy!' and goes to Taco Bell. A Servbot dressed in ragged clothes slowly pushes a shopping cart out of an alley, turns his head, and screams just seconds before he gets run over.)

Tron - One left… I wonder where he…

(Tron and Bon slowly turn their heads to the Servbot sitting in the passenger's seat.)

Servbot - No! Please, Miss Tron! Torture me! Squish me! Just don't throw me out of…

(The scene changes to a birds-eye view of Tron's car. The last Servbot comes flying out of the passenger's side window.)

Servbot - THE WINDOW! -gets run over by another car-

Tron - Zero! Yay! Wait… That's bad…

-End Flashback-

Tron - …a random flashback. Hey! Wait a sec!

Metal Sonic EX - -slowly slinks away-

Juno - So, if you ran all of them over, how are they here?

Tron - You don't want to know.

Juno - Okay… Listen! Take anything you can and then we'll bust out of here.

Everyone else - Right!

Narrator - Seconds later…

(Juno and everyone else leave with a handful of clothing.)

Juno - That's not what I meant. But…

Narrator - Elsewhere on Kattelox Island…

(Megaman is walking down the street in his odd fashion again. Roll walks up to him.)

Megaman - Well, hello hello! Who might you be?

Roll - Oh, me? I'm just the random girl that appears in every Austin Powers movie. You know… Fook Yu, Fook Mi, Dixie Normous, Alotta Fagina, Ivana Humpalot, etc. etc.

(A.N. Say the names real fast in order to get it.)

Megaman - Oh yeah! I got me a babe!

Roll - That reminds me. How do you always get the girls?

Megaman - Well, it's all about the mojo, baby!

Narrator - Back at 'Dr. Evil's' lair…

Juno - Fire the laser!

Tron - FIRE THE LASER!

(The giant laser fires.)

Teasel - Who'd of thought that a laser can be powered by clothing that hasn't been washed in three years?

Juno - Yes. It will forever be a mystery.

Megaman - Yes. Almost like how I keep popping up out of the blue!

Juno - Curses! Foiled again!

Tron - Um, sir? We've already fired the laser.

Juno - We have? Excellent! You're too late, Megaman!

Megaman - No I'm not. I took the liberty of moving a giant mirror in front of the laser's path. I'm going to leave now so that when I walk away, your base will blow to pieces behind me.

Juno - What!

Megaman - Consider this payback for the last parody. See ya! -leaves-

Juno - No! You can't leave me!

Tron - He just did.

Juno - Wait! Chibi-Me can save us! Where is he anyways?

(The scene changes briefly to show Data asleep in the police office lobby. The scene goes back to Juno's base.)

Juno - NNNNNOOOOO!

(Juno's base is blow to pieces as Megaman and Roll walk out of Uptown. People behind them start screaming.)

People - City Hall has been blown up by a giant laser!

Random Snitch - It was Megaman!

People - Let's get him!

(Megaman hears this, turns around, and starts running for his life when the crowd starts running towards him.)

Megaman - This is totally ungroovy, man!

* * *

What did I tell you? Pretty screwed up, huh? Anyways, the next two chapters will be the Megaman Zero series and after that, the Megaman X: Command Mission parody will take place. It's probably going to be my longest parody thus far. So, Read and Review if you ever want to see it! 


	7. Family Feud Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

This is going to be the first of two Megaman Zero series parodies. The reason that I made this parody is because it was an idea I got when I was walking around aimlessly. I've turned into something funny and this is it! This is parody number seven!

* * *

Parody #7

A Parody of Family Feud

By: The Megaman Zero series

* * *

(The Family Feud theme begins playing as an announcer starts talking.)

Announcer - It's time for the Family Feud hosted by the one, the only, LOUIE ANDERSON!

(Louie Anderson comes waddling in dressed in some random armor.)

Louie - Damn it! I can barely move in this armor! Minions!

(Louie fan club members run in and struggle to pick Louie up. After a few seconds, they manage to lift him and they start running towards his podium.)

Minions - Louie! Louie! Louie!

(They put him down at his podium and walk away while rubbing their sore arms. The Family Feud theme fades out.)

Louie - Welcome to a special Megaman Zero episode of Family Feud! Today, on my right, we have the guardians from Neo Arcadia!

(The camera begins moving from the left to the right. The order that they are standing is: Omega X, Leviathan, Fefnir, Harpuia, and Phantom.)

Louie - We have Omega X…

(Omega looks at the camera apathetically and raises a sign that reads: All humans must perish!)

Louie - Leviathan…

(Leviathan waves at the camera and blows a kiss.)

Louie - Fefnir…

(Fefnir is being strangled.)

Louie - Harpuia…

(Harpuia is strangling Fefnir. The camera pauses on them and they pause to give a quick thumbs-up. Then they go back to what they were doing earlier. The camera continues moving.)

Louie - …and Phantom!

(Phantom is reading Romeo and Juliet.)

Louie - And, on my left, we have the Resistance!

(The order of the resistance is: Ciel, Alouette, X, and Zero.)

Louie - We have Ciel…

(Ciel is also reading Romeo and Juliet.)

Louie - Alouette……

(Alouette pokes her eyes over the table.)

Louie - X…

(The floating cyber elf projects a picture of X and he waves.)

Louie - …and Zero!

(Zero is drooling in his sleep. X pokes him and Zero does nothing. X nudges his arm and Zero does nothing. X motions to one of the crew members and Zero wakes up.)

X - Thank you.

Zero - What?

(X hits Zero in the head with a shovel. Zero's head causes the counter to crack. Zero looks annoyed at X.)

Zero - What was that for!

X - I just woke you up.

Zero - Yeah right! Hey, wait!

(Zero does a quick count of each side.)

Zero - They have one more player than we do!

Omega - So? It's nothing that you can't handle.

X - Silence clone!

Omega - Bite me!

Zero - I know how to settle this!

(Zero jumps up onto the counter and looks at the guardians side. He slowly moves from Omega and he keeps going down until he reaches Phantom. Harpuia nudges Phantom's shoulder and points at Zero when he looks up. Phantom's pupils sink in.)

Zero - Kill him!

(Phantom screams as Zero jumps on top of him. A dust cloud covers the two up. It moves around the counter and stops in front of Louie's podium. When the dust settles, Zero has his foot on top of a tombstone with a mound of dirt next to it.)

Zero - -goes back to his seat- That's better.

Louie - ………

Resistance - ………

Neo Arcadia - ………

Audience - ………

Mound of Dirt - ………

Louie - Let's go on anyways!

Audience - Yay!

Louie - The first round is for Omega and…

(Zero picks up his seat, walks over to Ciel, pushes everyone's chairs over, and puts his seat down in first place.)

Louie - And… Um… Zero…

Resistance - ………

Neo Arcadia - ………

Audience - ………

Mound of Dirt - ………

Louie - Let's go on anyways!

Audience - Yay!

(Omega and Zero walk up to their places and the board is revealed.

_Board:_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

Zero - I'll see you in hell!

Omega - Bite me!

Louie - No handshake?

Zero/ Omega - NO!

Louie - -jumps- Ah! Okay! Um… Well…… -clears throat- Okay, first question: Name any character from a Megaman game that is male, but looks and talks like a female.

Zero - -buzzes in-

Louie - Yes, Zero?

Zero - I'll have to say X.

X - Hey!

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_---------- --_

_Megaman X - X4_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

X - Hey! Who said I sounded like a girl in X4!

(Several audience members began looking around nervously.)

X - I hate you all…

(Zero and Omega go back to their seats. Louie walks over to the Resistance side of the stage.)

Louie - Okay. Ciel, it's your turn.

Ciel - Um… Well…

-X-

Louie - Sorry, time's up. Alouette, how about you?

Alouette - Zero!

Zero - Why you little…

Louie - Survey says…

-XX-

Zero - Ha! See? I have very manly physique.

Omega - Yeah right.

Zero - Why you…

Louie - Okay. X, get this one wrong and it goes over to Neo Arcadia.

X - Don't worry. My answer has to be Lumine from Megaman X8.

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_---------- --_

_Megaman X - X4_

_---------- --_

_Lumine - X8_

_---------- --_

Louie - Okay. Zero, back to you.

Zero - It worked for me last time. So, I'll say Megaman.

X - Hey!

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Megaman - MM8_

_Megaman X - X4_

_---------- --_

_Lumine - X8_

_---------- --_

X - The number one answer!

Louie - Don't look at me. Okay. Ciel, any idea?

Ciel - Now that I think about it, I do kind of remember Data from Megaman Legends.

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Megaman MM8_

_Megaman X X4_

_Data MML_

_Lumine X8_

_---------- --_

Louie - Okay. Alouette, your turn.

Alouette - Aqua Man!

Zero - Who?

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Megaman MM8_

_Megaman X X4_

_Data MML_

_Lumine X8_

_Aqua Man MM8_

Ciel - How'd you know that?

Alouette - I saw his card.

Audience - -gasp-

Louie - ………

Resistance - ………

Neo Arcadia - ………

Audience - ………

Mound of Dirt - ………

Louie - Let's go on anyways!

Audience - Yay!

(Ciel and Leviathan walk up to the podium. The insult each other and don't shake hands.)

_New Board:_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

Louie - This is our Double Point Round. There's a lot of points to be one and………

Ciel/ Leviathan - Just get on with it!

Louie - -jumps again- Ah! Okay! -clears throat- Okay, next question: In the Megaman X series, all of the bosses from the stage select were either animals or plants. Name an animal or plant that Capcom didn't make a Maverick out of, but they should have.

Leviathan - -buzzes in-

Louie - Yes, Leviathan?

Leviathan - I'll go out on a limb and say a raisin.

Louie - ………

Audience - ………

Resistance - ………

Neo Arcadia - ………

Mound of Dirt - ………

Louie - Okay… Survey says…

_Ding!_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_Raisin - 2_

Zero - What the? Who said a raisin!

(Again, several audience members look around nervously.)

Louie - Okay. Ciel, you've got a chance to get a higher answer than Leviathan. If you do, the Resistance gets the question.

Leviathan - Hey! We didn't get that option last round!

Louie - Sorry, Levi. No one likes you.

(Omega starts and pulls out a notebook. He scribbles something down and then turns it so that the audience can see.)

_Omega's Notebook:_

_Humans That I Shall Kill In The Near Future:_

_George W. Bush_

_Ken Jennings_

_Bill Gates_

_Leonardo De Caprio_

_Louie Anderson_

Louie - -gulps-

Ciel - Um, okay… I'll say… A monkey!

Zero - No! Moron! They made two different monkey Mavericks!

Louie - Survey says…

-X-

Louie - Sorry, Ciel. -goes over to Neo Arcadia-

Fefnir - Okay… I'll say… a big ass Piñata!

Omega - Moron!

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_Big Ass Piñata - 3_

_Raisin - 2_

Zero - Who'd you survey, Anderson? Special education kids!

Louie - I'm starting to think that they actually might have been…

Zero - -slaps face-

Louie - Okay. Harpuia?

Harpuia - I'll say scorpion because they're one of my favorite animals.

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Scorpion - 65_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_Big Ass Piñata - 3_

_Raisin - 2_

Louie - Back to Omega.

Omega - I don't know. Something that can kill humans easily. Like… A mouse!

Louie - What have you been smoking?

Omega - The cheap stuff, Louie. The cheap stuff.

Louie - Right… Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Scorpion - 65_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_Mouse - 4_

_Big Ass Piñata - 3_

_Raisin - 2_

Louie - Ah, hell with it! These guys aren't getting anything wrong so far! Let's just give them the round!

Zero - What!

_Scorpion - 65 _

_Coconut - 8_

_Potato - 7_

_Toucan - 6_

_Pumpkin - 5_

_Mouse - 4_

_Big-Ass Piñata - 3_

_Raisin - 2_

X - Who said a coconut?

Zero - Who cares! They got the round while we worked for ours!

Louie - So, Alouette looked at my card.

Zero - -growls-

Louie - Okay, final round! Whoever wins this, wins the game!

Zero - What about the round where two people from the same team has to answer five questions?

Louie - Metal Sonic EX is becoming lazy again.

(The entire audience turns to Metal Sonic EX who is sitting in the front row, snoring up a storm.)

Zero - Whatever.

(X and Harpuia walk up to the podium.)

Alouette/ Fefnir - What about us?

Louie - You're both stupid beyond comprehension. We'd be here forever if you two came up here.

Alouette/ Fefnir - We are not!

Louie - What's one plus one?

Alouette/ Fefnir - …

Louie - I rest my case.

_Final Board_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

Louie - Okay. Final question: Name Metal Sonic EX's favorite armor for X in the Megaman X series.

X - -buzzes in-

Louie - Yes, X?

X - I'd have to say that my Shadow Armor is his favorite. Everyone else likes it.

Metal Sonic EX - -wakes up- Perhaps. But I'm not everyone else, am I?

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_---------- --_

_Shadow Armor - X6_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

(Metal Sonic EX starts laughing his head off and begins throwing popcorn at X.)

X - Stop that!

Metal Sonic EX - Never!

Louie - Harpuia?

Harpuia - I don't know the X series too well. So, I'll have to go with the only armor I know and say the Ultimate Armor from X4.

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_---------- --_

_Shadow Armor - X6_

_Ultimate Armor - X4_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

X - Yay!

Louie - -goes over to the Resistance- Zero, how 'bout it?

Zero - I'll say X's Falcon Armor.

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_---------- --_

_Shadow Armor - X6_

_Ultimate Armor - X4_

_---------- --_

_Falcon Armor - X5_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

(Metal Sonic EX begins laughing again and begins throwing popcorn at the entire Resistance.)

Metal Sonic EX - You all suck!

Louie - Okay… Ciel, your turn.

Ciel - I'll say the Force Armor. I like that armor.

Metal Sonic EX - NO!

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Force Armor - X4_

_Shadow Armor - X6_

_Ultimate Armor - X4_

_---------- --_

_Falcon Armor - X5_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

_---------- --_

Louie - Well, it's obvious who's won. Let's just reveal the board.

_Force Armor - X4_

_Shadow Armor - X6_

_Ultimate Armor - X4_

_Ultimate Armor - X8_

_Falcon Armor - X5_

_Gaea Armor - X5_

_Blade Armor - X6_

_Hermes Armor - X8_

Louie - Well, that's all for this episode! Tune in next time when I welcome the Legends series! Good night!

Omega - Kill him!

(Neo Arcadia jumps on top of Louie and begin beating him to a pulp.)

Louie - Help me!

(The Resistance walks away as Metal Sonic EX runs away crying that someone found out his favorite armor.)

X - Who said a raisin Maverick?

* * *

See? Funny. Anyways, in the next chapter, the Megaman Zero series returns to bring you another messed up parody. This time, it's going to make fun of a famous movie that just released its final episode not too long ago. Also, this parody is fourteen pages long, the same amount of pages it took to write out the Blast Hornet battle in Megaman Excel. That means that the Command Mission parody will probably be my overall longest chapter.

So, Read and Review and I'll continue writing these parodies for your reading pleasure!


	8. Star Wars Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

Okay. I'd just like to warn everybody that the only movie in this series that I've actually seen is the original, and it took everything I had just to understand that one. So, I might not get everything right, but please don't blame me. Also, I decided to make this parody because, with Zero and his saber, it would be stupid not to. So, here's parody number eight!

* * *

Parody #8

A Parody of Star Wars

By: The Megaman Zero series

* * *

(The setting is Neo Arcadia. Our hero, Zero, otherwise known as Luke Skywalker, is blasting through the base in order to get to Omega X. Harpuia blocks his path.)

Zero - Ah, there you are Harpuia.

(Harpuia looks like he is meditating.)

Harpuia - Come for Omega, have you not?

Zero - Say what?

Harpuia - Strong with him the dark side is.

(Harpuia opens his eyes slightly.)

Harpuia - Turn into Yoda I seem to have.

Zero - Okay… Look, I don't know who this Yoda or the dark side is, but I do know that if you don't stop talking like a freaking handicap, I'm going to kick your ass!

Harpuia - Intending to kick my ass you were originally were planning on.

Zero - That's it! Now I'm angry! You won't like me when I'm angry!

Harpuia - The Hulk parody this is not. Star Wars we must now make fun of.

Zero - Oh, shut up!

(Zero beams Harpuia over the head with the handle of his saber. Harpuia falls to the ground, unconscious.)

Zero - It's about time!

(Zero continues on his rampage and soon finds Omega dressed in black.)

Zero - There you are!

(Omega began making loud breathing noises.)

Zero - Oh, I get it. You're Darth Vader, right?

Omega - No. I am… Your father!

Zero - Dude. I'm a robot. Robots don't have fathers.

Omega - You're right. I'm really… Asthmatic!

Zero - You are?

Omega - Yes. What did you think these noises I'm making are?

(Omega lifts his helmet and uses an inhaler, lowering his helmet afterwards.)

Omega - Come! Let us fight like true Jedi's do!

Zero - Ah, man! Not you too!

(Omega removes a lightsaber handle and switches it on. The beam is bright red.)

Zero - Okay. You know what? I'm sick of this. When I kill you, everyone goes back to normal, deal?

Omega - Um, sure.

(Zero removes his own lightsaber and switches it on. The beam is bright green.)

Omega - Let's go, Jedi!

Zero - THAT'S IT!

(Zero and Omega began fighting with their lightsabers and Phantom, who is quite normal, walks in the door.)

Phantom - Howdy doody, guys!

(Phantom gives a lightsaber put into his head, Zero lets go of the handle as blood begins gushing out. Phantom falls to the floor, now quite dead.)

Zero - Whoops.

Omega - -pulls a script out of nowhere- Actually, that was supposed to happen. See here?

(Zero looks at the script as Omega uses the inhaler again.)

Zero - How about that! I was going to kill him. Sweet!

Omega - -takes the script back- Yes. And now the script says that you use the force to pull your saber back.

Zero - Oh, I'll use the force alright.

(Zero farts and he blasts off like a rocket. He flies throw the ceiling and out of Neo Arcadia.)

Omega - That's not what I meant… Oh God! Asthma attack!

(Zero's gas begins to suffocate Omega and he soon dies due to the smell.)

Narrator - Back at the Resistance base…

Random Person - Ms. Ciel! Zero coming!

Ciel - Quick! Open the rocket hatch!

(The random person does so and Zero flies in, using his gas as a jetpack.)

Ciel - -has noseplugs on- Hey, Zero!

Zero - Hey, howdy, hey!

Random Person #2 - Ms. Ciel! A message just came for you and Zero!

Ciel - -removes noseplugs and quickly puts on a gas mask- Really? Read it.

Random Person #2 - It says, 'A bitch payback is.' What do you think it means?

Zero - Who knows! Quite frankly, I couldn't care about anything except where my cheesy poofs are!

Ciel - This is the Star Wars parody, remember? That line's from South Park.

(Alouette enters the room.)

Alouette - Don't forget do bring a towel.

Random Person #2 - Ms. Ciel, do you want me to get the animal tranquilizers?

Zero - You will respect my authoriti!

(Zero and Alouette begin to beat random person #2 to a pulp, Zero with his hands and Alouette with that stuffed animal of hers. Harpuia walks in.)

Harpuia - My message you did get. Time for payback it is.

(Harpuia whips out a purple lightsaber. He tosses Zero's to him.)

Zero - Wonderful. Now you will respect my authoriti too!

(Zero and Harpuia get into a lightsaber fight and Fefnir comes walking in not too long after the battle starts.)

Fefnir - Howdy doody, guys!

(Fefnir just narrowly misses being sliced in the head by Zero's lightsaber.)

Fefnir - Woah! Watch where you're swinging that thing!

Zero - Well, I would if Harpuia stopped talking in his crazy ass language!

Harpuia - Talk in my crazy ass language, many people did.

Zero - Yeah! Like who?

(The scene changes to when Christopher Columbus named America.)

Columbus - America this land I shall call!

(The scene changes to George Washington's famous line.)

Washington - A lie I cannot tell!

(The scene changes to one of Bill Clinton's many interviews.)

Clinton - Sexual relations with that woman I did not have!

(The scene changes back to the Resistance base.)

Harpuia - Talk in my language those people do.

Zero - Right… Hey, I wonder how Omega's doing?

(Omega is currently sitting at a table, about to eat a Big Mac. Why? Because he never died. Why? Because robots don't breath. Why? God only knows! Why? Because he does. Why? I don't know. Why? Stop asking me that. Why? STOP IT!)

(A.N. This following part is ripping-off of a humorous commercial from the May 26, 2005 installment of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.)

Omega - -unwraps the burger- Come to poppa!

(Omega goes to eat it, however, he is stopped because he still wearing his helmet. He tries again with the same results. He begins trying to cram the burger into the mask's mouth, only to have it go everywhere. He looks at the mess from the burger.)

Omega - Son of a bitch!

Zero - I'm sure he's fine.

Harpuia - Nearly died from your gas he did.

Zero - Really?

Ciel - No! Don't!

Zero - Oh, I'm doing it all right!

(Zero farts again, knocking everyone in the room to the wall. Zero blasts through the ceiling.)

Harpuia - Wonder where he's going I do.

(Zero is flying through the air and he begins to land when he see a White Castle.)

Narrator - Back at Omega's lair…

(Omega is surrounded in burger parts. He crams another burger into his helmet.)

Omega - SON OF A MOTHER BLEEP ING BITCH!

* * *

That wasn't a very good parody, but, like I said, I don't understand the plot very well. Anyways, the next parody WILL be the Command Mission parody! I've got a whole bag load of weird things to put into it and I'm ready to start writing it!

Also, the way that this fanfic goes, the first eight chapters have been a pair of parodies done by a single series. From here on out, the parodies are going to be done by a single series like this order has. Here's what I mean:

X Parody x2

Classic Parody x2

Legends Parody x2

Zero Parody x2

X Parody

Classic Parody

Legends Parody

Zero Parody

Etc. Etc.

Until then, Read and Review and I'll humor you some more!


	9. Command Mission Parody pt 1

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

At long last, the Command Mission parody is here! Just so you know, this is going to feature quite a few spoilers for the game. So readers beware! Now, what sick and twisted ideas do I have planned for this chapter? Well, I guess you'll just have to read and see!

* * *

Parody #9

A Parody of Megaman X: Command Mission

By: The X series

* * *

-Introduction-

(X, Zero, and some guy named Shadow are running towards ruins on an island while it's raining. They are thinking back to what their colonel, Redips, said.)

Redips - You're mission is to infiltrate the Lagrano ruins. Our sources tell us that the Rebellion army leader, Epsilon, is holding Force Metal experiments there.

Zero - So, nothing we haven't done before. Right?

Redips - Um… Yeah… I guess…

X - Just for the record, what is your name?

Redips - I am known as Redips.

Shadow - Redips?

Zero - What the hell kind of name is that?

-Chapter One-

(The three enter the ruins, but are soon separated by a falling pillar.)

Zero - Get to the top, X! Me and Shadow will meet you up there!

X - Right!

(X raises his leg and the entire world begins spinning.)

X - Now I know how the inside of a washer feels!

(The screen stops spinning and X is in front of a little robot dog that came out of nowhere.)

X - What the… Okay, that's it! Colonel Redips said NOTHING about random battles!

(X defeats the dog. He then continues up the ruins until he gets to a room. There, he synchronizes a signal with Zero in order to move on. As X turns to leave, a robot known as a Preon appears. X defeats it and the screen changes to the 'after battle' screen.)

X - Hmmm… I wonder why that Preon was carrying money and some Force Metal. I guess that it will forever remain a mystery.

(X continues on, dealing with more random battles as he moves, and he is finally reunited with Zero. Suddenly, a giant hippo smashes through the wall.)

Zero - Who the heck is this?

X - Who knows. But according to the script, this guy has absolutely no true role in this game, with the exception of being the first boss, mind you.

Zero - Whatever…

(X and Zero defeat the hippo and continue to a room that is missing the walls and ceiling. There, they are reunited with Shadow and are introduced to Epsilon. X starts.)

X - Epsilon?

Epsilon - Yes. It is I, the great Epsilon.

Zero - The great Epsilon? Man, what are you smoking? You only appear in chapters one and nine! I, however, appear in all but two, three, and four.

Epsilon - Whatever. I've got news for you though.

Zero - Really? Like what?

(Shadow lifts the sword that is his left arm to Zero's head. Zero turns around, unimpressed.)

Zero - Really now? Well, now I've got a reason to kill you.

Mysterious Voice - Sorry, but you'll die first!

(A whip comes out of nowhere and hits Zero in the shoulder. He doesn't even move.)

Zero - That hurt.

(A flying toad, a harpy-like female with a whip, and a knight-like robot come out of nowhere.)

Zero - I'm leaving. This is boring. Besides, I've been wanting to see that new Star Wars movie.

(Zero jumps off of the edge of the room and plummets down about five stories.)

X - Okay…

Flying Toad - Ha ha! That's right! Run like the coward you are!

X - You have no right to say that! Look at yourself. You're a freaking toad whose buttcheeks are currently being used as a jetpack!

Flying Toad - So…

Epsilon - This is merely part of my Rebellion army.

X - Okay, hold it!

(X pulls a copy of the Command Mission case out of nowhere and begins scanning the back of it.)

X - It's the Rebellion army, right?

Epsilon - Um… Yes…

X - Good.

(X turns the case around and the camera zooms in on the middle part of the text part.)

X - See? Right here! This case says that it's the Liberon army! What the hell is a Liberon! I mean, it's like calling Epsilon something like Espilon!

Epsilon - Okay…

X - Man, screw this!

(X jumps off of the edge as well and the chapter ends.)

-Chapter Two-

(X wakes up on a weird bed in a weird room with a weird person by him.)

Weird Person - Ah, X. You're awake. That's good. We found you unconscious at the bottom of the Lagrano ruins. You were holding a copy of Command Mission.

X - Yeah… Whatever you say… I'm outta here.

(X goes to get up when the weird person shoves him back onto the table.)

Weird Person - SIT DOWN! I'M NOT DONE YET!

X - Yikes! Crazy person!

Weird Person - Anyways, we call this place 'New Hope'. It's where we hide from the Liberon army.

X - What is it! Rebellion or Liberon! AAAHHH!

(X gets up and runs through the wall.)

Weird Person - I wasn't done yet…

(X finally stops in a large room.)

X - I think that I outran him. Huh? What the…

(A person floats up to him.)

Person - You are the Maverick Hunter, X, are you not? I am Aile.

X - Aile, huh? What's up with all of the crappy names all of a sudden?

Aile - Don't ask. Anyways, I want you to have this so that you can rescue Chief R, our leader.

X - Chief R, huh? And we have another crappy name to add to the list!

Aile - Well, your name is X!

X - So? I'm the hero of this series. The hero's name doesn't matter.

Aile - Point proven. Anyways, I want you to have this.

(Aile rips a bluish sphere from his chest and he hands it to X.)

X - Dude! You expect me to rescue someone with your freaking nipple!

Aile - It is not a nipple. It is my ID. It will allow you to enter certain rooms.

(X reluctantly takes the ID and places it in a Ziploc bag.)

X - Man, this is sick.

(The two turn around and see three white Preons standing there.)

Preons - Are you done yet?

X - Um, yes?

(Aile throws X into the room behind him and shuts the door.)

X - Aile? What are you…

Aile - Just save Chief R! AGH!

(X hears a fart on the other side of the door and, seconds later, he hears four explosions.)

X - Wow. He couldn't even handle his own gas. Hmm. Sad.

(X leaves a building after the news warns citizens about X's 'intrusion' on Central Tower. A giant reploid walks towards X, explaining why he reported X. A card comes flying out of nowhere and blows the reploid up.)

X - What the…

Mysterious Person - Trust me. I didn't do that for you!

(The stranger jumps down and holds a card towards X.)

X - Who are you?

Stranger - That doesn't matter. But your head will fetch a pretty penny!

X - Just a penny? Man, I'm worth a lot more than that!

Stranger - Whatever. Name's Spider. It's a pleasure.

X - Hold it!

(X thinks for a second before thrusting his finger at Spider.)

X - Spider is Redips spelt backwards!

Spider - What! Um, no it's not! You weren't supposed to figure that out!

X - Okay…

(X and Spider fight and X beats the crap out of Spider. I mean, he doesn't even get to attack! An alarm begins blaring in the background.)

Spider - Darn. Just as I was about to finish you off!

X - … Whatever you say, Sparky.

(Spider leaves and X meets him again not too much later.)

X - Ow. That hurt!

Spider - -picks up Aile's 'nipple'- What's this?

X - Put the down! A lowlife bounty hunter such as yourself has no right to lay hands on Aile's nipple!

Spider - Dude! It's a freaking nipple!

(Spider tosses it aside and looks at the camera.)

Spider - Sorry, Jango. There's too much crap like this waiting for me if I continue being a bounty hunter.

(On the other side of the camera, a bobcat known as Wild Jango is throwing a fit.)

Jango - Even after I offered him a blank check! Ah, well. More for me!

(X continues on and he eventually frees Chief R.)

Chief R - Thank you for saving me. But you need to rescue the city.

X - Why?

R - Haven't you heard? The Rebellion army has taken control of Central Tower!

(X rolls in a chalkboard and writes something on it.)

X - Well, that's two for Rebellion army and that's two for Liberon Army.

(The two suddenly get cut off by a transmission from Jango.)

Jango - Well, Arr! Have you…

X - Who are you? A pirate?

Jango - Be quiet you little… Anyways, have you decided to join us?

R - You can take my body apart and even the smallest screw would resist you!

Jango - Too bad. Because, it's about that you two…

(The scene changes to what X and R see on the screen. Spider is in the background, slowly backing away from Jango. Jango is dressed in a tutu and is holding a toothbrush menacingly above his head.)

Jango - Learned the true meaning of fear!

X - I think that I just have.

(X leaves and begins heading to the main control room where Jango has planted a bomb. X suddenly gets sucked into a random battle and the Preons in the control room scramble about.)

Preon #1 - Quick! He ran into a random battle! Pause the timer!

Preon #2 - Why?

Preon #1 - Because we'll be able to get out of here!

(X arrives just before the Preons leave and he blows them up only to find out that the Preons left the bomb off.)

X - I just ran my ass all the way up here for nothing!

R - X! Jango is on the port above you! You can get to it by going up that one walkway!

X - Yes! I knew that I'd be able to blow something up!

(X gets up to the heliport and Spider walks in, dragging his left leg.)

X - Spider?

Spider - I fell down the stairs. Now, let's get this guy!

(The battle starts and Jango begins bouncing around on his legs.)

Jango - Do you have a death wish?

X - No. Do you?

Jango - Um… Well… No comment.

X - Whatever. Stop bouncing around like that!

Jango - Well, I have to practice for my ballerina act!

X - My God…

(X and Spider defeat Jango and he blows up.)

Spider - Aile was an old friend of mine, back when I was bounty hunting. I screwed up and he took the blame.

X - That's nice. Why don't you just say you never knew Aile at all and you have a secret fantasy for swimming in a lake of raspberry ice tea?

Spider - WHAT! WHO TOLD YOU!

X - Um, okay…

-Chapter Three-

(R is telling X and Spider that they need the navigator, Nana, rescued from a POW camp. X and Spider are sent there. In the first room they enter, they meet an odd character.)

Spider - Hey there.

Stranger - -begins freaking out-

X - ………

Spider - ………

Stranger - Wait. You're not Liberon army?

X - Damn it!

Spider - Uh, yeah. We're building an anti-Rebellion force. Who are you?

Stranger - -laughs nervously- I am Massimo. Call me Steel Massimo.

X - You're not the real Steel Massimo, are you?

Massimo - ……… No. -sob-

Spider - Where's the real one?

Fake Massimo - He's hanging by what's left of his arms in a cell that's got a water-covered floor.

X - Oh… What to help us free the POW's?

Fake Massimo - Depends. If I do, will you help me free the POW's?

X - Sure… Why not…

(The three continue on and they soon come across a door that has singing coming from the other side. X blows down the door and they find an odd-looking woman bouncing around.)

X - What the…

Strange Woman - You have seen my secret training dance! Why you dirty, rotten, unforgivable… Prepare to feel the wrath of the super musical star, Rafflesian!

X - Someone didn't take their PMS pills today…

(The Rafflesian secret boss battle begins. Two enemies known as Belladonna's appear out of nowhere.)

Rafflesian - Who are you strangers?

Spider - We're your executioners, bitch!

Massimo - Let's get her!

(It is Rafflesian's turn. She uses Riot. She grabs her dress and begins to shake her body around.)

Rafflesian - Look at me!

Massimo - My eyes! I think that I'm going to… -becomes berserk-

(After knocking Massimo out of it and defeating the psycho bitch, X gets the Ultimate Armor Hyper Mode.)

X - Sweet!

Spider - Hey, X! I'll bet that you can't hit a can on a fence that's fifty yards away!

(X proceeds to shoot a can off of a fence that is two-hundred yards off.)

Spider - Too bad we didn't shake on it!

X - Loser…

(They continue on and the scene changes to a dark room. The navigator, Nana, is sitting in a weird-looking chair while a giant triceratops-like reploid is standing by her. This reploid is known as Silver Horn.)

Silver Horn - Anything to report?

Nana - No… Master.

Silver Horn - Good. By be a good little slave girl and make me some toast.

Nana - I can't do that.

Silver Horn - Why not?

(Nana holds up a toaster that's been crushed beyond comprehension.)

Silver Horn - Oh, that… Well, that Massimo fellow got pretty boring. Probably because he had no more limbs for me to crush. But…

(Nana sighs quietly and Silver Horn starts.)

Silver Horn - Wait! I remember now! I bought a new one right after I crushed the old one!

Nana - -cringes- You did?

Silver Horn - -holds up a brand new toaster- Yup.

(Nana sighs, gets out of her chair, grabs the toaster, and begins to walk out of the dark room.)

Silver Horn - Not to be picky or anything, but could you make sure that it's white bread and not wheat? I hate wheat toast. Yick!

Nana, -sigh- Right away.

(X, Spider, and Massimo break through the door just as Nana is about to leave. She throws the toaster into the air, making Silver Horn desperately grab for it. She then runs over to the group and begins groveling.)

Nana - Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Now I won't have to make toast anymore!

(The three gasp.)

Massimo - You made her make toast for you?

Silver Horn - Yeah. So?

(Massimo runs over, grabs the toaster, throws it on the ground, and begins to chop it with his ax.)

Massimo - DIE, VILE MACHINE!

(Vile walks in for no reason.)

Vile - You called?

(Vile sees the weird spectacle, then slowly turns around and sneaks out of the door.)

Silver Horn - My toaster!

(Silver Horn kneels by it, sees that it is far beyond rebuilding, and throws his hands in the air as it begins to rain.)

Silver Horn - NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!

(X begins to look around, confused.)

Silver Horn - That's it! Meet me at the aqua arena! High noon, two pistols! You're a dead man!

(Silver Horn stomps out of the room as Nana stops groveling.)

Nana - I'll help you kill him! Just keep going the way you were and you'll reach the aqua arena.

Spider - Um… Thanks…

(X, Massimo, and Spider continue on and soon reach the aqua arena. Nana is on the ground, not moving.)

X - What the… Nana!

(Silver Horn literally appears from nowhere and begins laughing.)

Spider - What did you do to her!

Silver Horn - Nana's been a bad girl. She didn't make MY TOAST!

(Silver Horn drops his foot on top of Nana and it goes right through her hologram. Nana walks in behind the three friends.)

Nana - Can't kill me! Nyah nyah!

(Silver Horn clenches his fists and he begins to insult the real Massimo. Fake Massimo gets ticked and punches Silver Horn in the stomach. He doesn't even budge.)

Massimo - Ah! Son of a…

(The screen begins spinning and Massimo yells 'Stop!'. The screen goes back to normal.)

Massimo - Wrong time! Sorry.

Silver Horn - Would you like me to throw myself backwards to make it seem that I was actually hurt by that?

Massimo - Yes please.

(Silver Horn throws himself backwards and Massimo replaces his fist.)

Narrator - Here's what supposed to happen…

Massimo - Feeble Massimo? FEEBLE MASSIMO! YOU SON OF A……… -battle begins-

Narrator - Due to Metal Sonic Ex's twisted mind, here's what actually happens…

Massimo - Feeble Massimo? FEEBLE MASSIMO! YOU SON OF A BITCH! Oops. -battle begins-

(Silver Horn stands up and begins to bounce his belly up and down.)

Silver Horn - Ready to be destroyed?

(It's Silver Horn's turn and he attacks with Tidal Wave. He slams his fist into the ground and a tidal wave approaches the three.)

Spider - Ready guys? One…

(The wave gets closer.)

Massimo - Two…

(The wave is above the friends.)

X - THREE!

(Just a split-second before the wave hits them, the three turn their bodies to the left in unison, making the word 'Miss' come up in front of all of them. The tidal wave ends and the three haven't moved.)

Silver Horn - What? But how is this possible!

X - Ha! You can't mess with the Miss move!

Silver Horn - Damn it!

(X and the others get Silver Horn down to enough health to put him into a Final Strike. Suddenly, Nana runs up in front of them.)

Nana - Wait! Can I do something first?

Spider - Yeah… I guess…

(Nana turns around and throws a piece of toast at Silver Horn's head.)

Nana - Here's your toast, you bastard!

(Silver Horn grabs the toast in midair.)

Silver Horn - Mmmm. Sweet toasty goodness.

(Silver Horn begins to eat the toast.)

Nana - No! Damn it! You aren't supposed to eat that!

Silver Horn - Mmmm. It's so… Toasty! I feel like I'm…

(Silver Horn suddenly grabs his chest.)

Nana - Psyche! I put anthrax on that toast! Mwa ha ha!

Silver Horn - Stupid… Broad… I'll get you for… This… May the toast gods have mercy on your soul!

(Silver Horn dies and Spider raises an eyebrow.)

Spider - Where'd you get anthrax?

(Nana points to the door, where Osama bin Laden is also eating some toast. Osama has a 'Mmmm' look on his face when he suddenly wrenches open his eyes, looks around, and begins to tiptoe away.)

Massimo - Hey! Isn't that…

(Osama jumps into the water and, upon contact with the water, does a perfect Dead Man's Float. In other words, he dies.)

X - Wow. He couldn't even swim. How 'bout that?

(X, Spider, Massimo, and Nana go back to Central Tower as Silver Horn picks his head up, looks around, sees his toast, grabs it, and dies again.

-Chapter Four-

(R is telling the group about Professor Gaudile. X suddenly brings up the subject of Zero. Nana starts.)

Nana - Wait! Zero's tall, blonde hair, ponytail, red armor, looks pissed all the time, talks like a surfer, right?

X - Pretty much.

Nana - I've met him!

X - Seriously?

Nana - Yeah! He popped up about one day before you rescued me.

-Flashback-

Narrator - One day prior to Nana's rescue…

Silver Horn - Anything to report?

Nana - No… Master.

Silver Horn - Good. By be a good little slave girl and make me some toast.

Nana - I can't do that.

Silver Horn - Why not?

(Nana points to Silver Horn's side and Zero is standing there. He looks up at Zero and does the 'Wassup!' gesture with his hands.)

Zero - What up, bitches!

Silver Horn - Easily remedied.

(Silver Horn picks up a gigantic foot and squishes Zero.)

Silver Horn - Anything else?

Nana - -sigh- Coming right up.

-End Flashback-

X - Oh… I'm sure he's fine! Zero always cheats death!

(The three are sent to Gaudile's laboratory and they sent off an alarm. They run into three Preons who ask why they're there. Instead of answering them, they blow them to pieces and continue through a door and go down the left side of a hallway with two paths. As they walk on, Massimo hears squeaking behind them. When they get far enough, the squeaking speeds up as a stranger runs down the other hallway. Massimo turns around. Phew!)

X - What is it, Massimo?

Massimo - I thought that I heard something.

(The stranger starts, looks at her feet, and quickly shakes the squeaky bunny slippers off.)

Spider - It's probably nothing. Let's keep going.

(The two groups go their separate ways and X, Spider, and Massimo eventually walk into a… Hey! Where's Psyche?)

X - The Preons are here, but Psyche's nowhere in sight!

(Psyche slowly walks in.)

Psyche - Am I in the right parody this time?

Massimo - Uh… Yeah… I think so…

Psyche - Oh goody! -twirls his fingers around- Quit your bumbling and get them!

(Psyche leaves and the group blows the Preons to pieces. The stranger finds a kid and has a talk.)

Stranger - Hey, kid. Do you live here?

Kid - No. I live next door. Of course I live here!

Stranger - Okay… I'm Marino.

Kid - Sorry. Can't talk to strangers.

Marino - How 'bout I smack you upside the head? Will you talk to me then?

Kid - I'm Cinnamon. Don't hit my head. I bruise easily.

Marino - Come on. You're that Force Metal Generator I've been looking for and I'm not going to give it up easily.

(Marino 'kidnaps' Cinnamon as Psyche finds Gaudile.)

Gaudile - I'll never join you! I'll never let my creations be used war!

Psyche - Gaudile! Epsilon is not trying to wage war.

Gaudile - Well, he's been doing one hell of a job of it so far!

Psyche - Forget it. Let's see where the Force Metal Generator is!

(Psyche begins pushing random buttons, occasionally looking over at Gaudile while twirling his fingers around.)

Psyche - Which room? Which room? Hey! What's this?

Gaudile - No!

(Psyche opens a file and a million pornographic sites pop up.)

Psyche - What the…

Gaudile - You never saw anything!

Psyche - Oh, I'm seeing all right. And I'm liking too!

(When they sort out their problems, Psyche somehow teleports ahead of Marino and he begins shooting her for no reason.)

Psyche - Damn thief! That'll teach you to not buy me Taco Bell when I tell you too!

Marino - Up…Yours…

(Psyche and two Preons who came out of nowhere kill Marino and Cinnamon runs up to her nobody, kneels down, and begins making weird moaning noises.)

Psyche - Oh, for the love of…

(Psyche knocks Cinnamon out.)

Psyche - I mean, honestly! It sounded like she was having an…

Metal Sonic EX - OKAY! We can cut it off there and continue, okay?

(X, Spider, and Massimo reach the room where Marino is and she jumps to her feet.)

Marino - Who'd of thought that the good ol' playing dead trick would actually fool Psyche?

(X and Massimo raise their hands.)

X - He's kinda like that. I'm X.

Marino - I'm Marino. Now let's kick some ass!

(The four manage to get to the entrance of the Eternal Forest.)

Gaudile - Hurry up and go through the easiest trail. Hurry and savor Cinnamon.

Everyone Else - WHAT?

Gaudile - SAVE! I meant save. Hehe…..

(Just to tick Gaudile off, they go through EVERY possible trail and then they go for it. They manage to catch Psyche on a giant tree stump.)

Psyche - Wha… Lousy thief! You should be dead!

Marino - Just like Zero. Never say die with me.

Psyche - Whatever. Prepare to meet your end!

X - Go ahead! Make my millennium! Hahahahaha!

(The battle starts and Psyche begins bouncing around.)

Psyche - You'll make a good specimen!

Spider - What are we? Butterflies?

(It's Psyche's turn. He uses Summon Needles and he begins dancing around. For no reason, a very annoying song can be heard when he does this.)

Weird Song - Numa numa nah! Numa numa numa nah!

X - NO! NOT THE NUMA NUMA SONG! ANYTHING BUT THAT!

Psyche - -stops dancing- Anything?

X - Statement withdrawn.

Psyche - Oh… Okay… -resumes dancing-

(After blowing several tape recorders to pieces, they finally continue the fight. After a while, Psyche loses, begins dancing one last time to the Numa Numa song, and his heads pops off. It attaches to a giant nautilus-like robot and a second fight ensues.)

Mad Nautilus - You'll never beat my evolved form!

Marino - Yawn. Same old… Same old…

(The group waits until Mad Nautilus lifts the visor blocking his weak point.)

Mad Nautilus - Peekaboo!

(Mad Nautilus quickly regrets saying that as everyone is prepared for one major ass-kicking.)

Good Guys - We see you!

(The group beats the crap out of Mad Nautilus and he begins to blow up.)

Mad Nautilus - My life's work!

Gaudile - It was crap! All of it was!

(Cinnamon begins telling Gaudile that she wants to help X fight. She begins talking in a monotone.)

Cinnamon - I. Am. Not. Being. Used.

Gaudile - Okay…

X - What's the verdict, professor?

Gaudile - I say… Guilty! You're all guilty of high treason!

Massimo - Can I knock him out?

Marino - Meh. Go ahead.

(Massimo knocks Gaudile out and the five return to Central Tower.)

* * *

I hate to do this, but we'll have to call it quits for now. This will be a multi-chapter parody. How many chapters will it be is still a mystery to me. So, until next time, please Read and Review! 


	10. Command Mission Parody pt 2

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

Okay, problem… In the last chapter, I accidentally stopped the chapter a bit short. Instead of stopping after the fifth chapter, I cut it off after the forth. So, this will be a three-part parody. Here's the outline:

Chapter 9 - Chapters 1 - 4

Chapter 10 - Chapters 5 - 8

Chapter 11 - Chapters - Chapters 9 & 10; Backtracking for Items; The Tail Clan Battles

I'd like to inform you that I've beaten everybody in the entire game _EXCEPT_ Ninetails. The little booger wipes the floor with two of my party members, brings them back to life, and wipes the floor with all three of them. Oh well… Ah! Enough of my ranting! Here's chapter ten!

* * *

Parody #9

A Parody of Megaman X: Command Mission

By: The X series

* * *

-Chapter Five-

(X and the gang head to the Ulfat Factory because Redips called and said that he picked up a signal that might be Zero. They all enter a room where an odd Mechaniloid is beeping.)

Spider - Wait! No one move!

(The room becomes red as the Mechaniloid begins flying around the room. Massimo starts twitching slightly.)

Massimo - Guys! My nose itches!

Marino - No! Don't!

Massimo - I can't take it!

(Massimo scratches his nose madly, setting off an alarm in the process.)

Massimo - Whoops...

(After an unwanted battle with Preons, they continue on until they walk past a walkway with a wall of crates on either side. An odd reploid jumps down.)

Reploid - Calm down. It's only me.

(In a white flash of light, the reploid changes to...)

X - Axl!

(Axl waves and begins walking towards X and Spider. However, with every step, Axl moves forward a millimeter.)

X - Um... Axl...

Axl - Don't worry! I'm-a coming!

Spider- Screw it! We don't have time for this.

(X and Spider leave as Axl continues to walk abnormally slow after them.)

Axl - Wait! Get back here! Ungrateful bastards!

(The group continues on until they come to a hallway where reploids have been killed with a saber. The factory manager, Mach Jentra, looks at a monitor in another room as Zero walks down a hallway towards Jentra.)

Jentra - Stop him! The intruder must not gain entry!

Reploid - It's no use! Breakthrough imminent! AH!

(The door behind Jentra opens seconds after an explosion is heard on the other line. Jentra turns to look at Zero.)

Jentra - What's with the explosion?

Zero - Explosion? What explosion?

(The scene changes to a room where reploids are running around in a frenzy as the wall is blown in. For no absolute reason, Robocop walks in and draws a pair of Uzi's.)

Robocop - All your base belong to me, bitch!

(Robocop proceeds to shoot everyone in the head.)

Jentra - Whatever...

(As X and the group approach where Jentra and Zero are fighting, Jentra becomes victorious and Zero is thrown back to the wall.)

Jentra - What happened to all of your spunk?

Zero - Bite me.

(X suddenly comes running through the door in slow motion as some melodramatic music starts playing.)

Zero - X!

Jentra - Curses! Ah well. I'm outta here. I hear that they've got a sale on crackers at Wal-Mart!

(Jentra flies into a hole in the ceiling as an alarm starts blaring.)

Alarm - Warning! Evacuate all personal! Duboar is being activated.

X - What's Duboar?

Zero - I think it's Jentra's pet robot thing.

(X and the group, now joined by Zero, head into the final room and Jentra begins laughing uncontrollably.)

Zero - What's with you? Do you have some sort of laughing disorder or something?

Jentra - Don't worry. You'll perish in this factory first!

Zero - Talk about changing the subject...

(The battle begins and it is Jentra's turn. He attacks with 'Super Hold Gum'.)

X - No! The sheer amount of chewing gum is reducing my speed by twenty-five percent!

(After a major beatdown of Jentra, he begins laughing weakly.)

Jentra - Fools. If I die, Dubour will go berserk. Out of...

(Jentra blows up a few seconds too early and several berserk Preons begin marching towards the group. After defeating a few waves, Axl walks in, slow as ever, changes into Jentra, and distracts Dubour long enough for it's destruction.)

Zero - Where have you been, Axl?

Axl - Trying to catch up with this loser!

X - It's not my fault that you walk too slow.

(A.N. About now, I'll tell whoever's reading this to stop where they are if they haven't gotten this far in the game yet. A lot of stuff is about to happen and I don't want to spoil anything for you.)

-Chapter Six-

(Zero has a fit about Spider and the others, thus storms off. R gets a transmission from Redips and enters the main room of the base to find an odd spectacle. X is at a podium while the others are surrounding him. Nana glances at R.)

R - What the…

Nana - Don't ask...

X - The Anti-Mettaur Club is now in session! -bangs gavel-

(After the meeting, the group is sent to Gimialla Mine where it is said that Epsilon is mining Force Metal there. The group enters a random battle and see a Silver Mettaur sitting there.)

X - Mettaur Maulers! Go!

(After slaughtering the innocent Mettaur, the group runs into… Dun dun duh! Shadow!)

X - You!

Shadow - I can tell. You've come for the Supra-Force Metal, haven't you?

X - What?

Shadow - Never mind. I'll kill you anyways!

(The battle begins and Shadow assumes a battle stance.)

Shadow - I'll tear you all into little pieces!

Cinnamon - Yay! Sushi!

(After beating Shadow, Zero makes his melodramatic appearance.)

Zero - Let's do this Maverick!

(A new battle begins.)

Shadow - I'll tear you all into little pieces!

Cinnamon - Yay! More sushi!

Spider - That's it… We're dumping her.

(Shadow is defeated and, as X and Zero converse, Shadow attempts a sneak attack. However, Spider jumps in front of it, takes the blast, and throws a card at him, finishing Shadow once and for all.)

Zero - You've earned my respect, Spider.

Spider - I'm so giddy…

(There continue on until they come to a locked door. They blow it in and almost immediately get swept into a random battle. A huge, and I mean HUGE, Mettaur sits in front of them.)

Zero - What's this?

Spider - They call it a Mettaur Gigant.

Zero - Okay…

(They defeat the Mettaur Gigant and continue until they find a red mining Degraver. It's complaining about it's pickax.)

Degraver - Toll malfunction. Tool malfunction.

Axl - Whatever.

(The group enter as nearby door and find an inactive Degraver lying on the ground, face-down.)

X - Well, that explains it.

Cinnamon - Eek! Psycho killer! Run away!

(Again, they continue on until they come across a door that says: 'This door is protected by three guardians. No one may pass without permission.')

X - Permission, huh?

Spider - You know what that means!

Marino - Mass genocide! Awesome!

(After 'persuading' the guardians to let them pass, they enter the door and a reploid floats down from the ceiling.)

Reploid - Behold! I am Incentas!

Zero - Let's just get to the killing.

(The boss battle begins.)

Incentas - Come and get what's coming to you!

X - You've got that all mixed up!

(Incentas immediately changes from a fire-type to a water-type. He starts dancing around.)

X - Reminds you of Jango, doesn't it?

Spider - Don't remind me.

(The battle goes pretty much without incident until the good guys win. Incentas begins pressing his palms against a screen and an alarm blares.)

Incentas - You're all about to die! See ya!

Spider - -begins pushing Incentas towards the locked door- Time to make my melodramatic exit. See ya losers!

X - Spider!

(Spider blows himself and Incentas up and the alarm suddenly stops.)

Massimo - What the…

(Everyone hears a 'ding' noise. They look over and see a toaster with a timer by it.)

X - No one is to speak of this moment again.

-Chapter Seven-

(R walks into the base again and sees the same odd spectacle.)

R - How's the Anti-Mettaur Club?

X - Actually, we're now known as the Mettaur Haters Society.

R - Um… Okay…

(The group tries calling Redips and fails due to a transmission block. They are sent to the source of the block to eliminate this. The source is somewhere in the Vanallia Desert. They run into a random battle and, for the first time, meet a Meltdown. Three turns later, Meltdown explodes, releasing a large shockwave.)

Axl - Run for it!

(The group runs from the shockwave and straight into quicksand. Ferham arrives and begins taunting Zero with her whip. Eventually, the group falls into the quicksand and fall into the base. After a long and tiring level, they use the elevator to go up to the control room. There, they meet the flying toad with jetpack buttcheeks.)

X - Oh no…

Toad - Hahahahaha! So you finally made it.

Marino - Who are you?

Toad - I am Botos.

X - Not another crappy name.

Botos - Oh, bite me! Ya see this?

(Botos holds up a piece of glowing metal.)

Botos - This small piece of Supra-Force Metal…

(Botos swallows the metal and takes flight.)

Botos - Produces this much power!

(The boss battle starts. Throughout the entire battle, Botos uses attacks involving music references. I.e. Battle Rhapsody, Battle Forte, Battle Allegro, etc. The good guys win and the Supra-Force Metal rolls over to X's foot. He picks it up as Botos starts speaking in a voice like he's trying to act, but is failing horribly.)

Botos - Oh… No! The… Precious Supra-Force Metal that… Epsilon gave me!

Zero - -holds up his saber- You-re a horrible actor.

Botos - Shucks! Looks like I've been beaten! This isn't the end!

(Botos escapes via nearby teleporter and the good guys return to base.)

(A.N. You can probably tell, this chapter doesn't have that much stuff for me to make fun of.)

-Chapter Eight-

(For the third time, R enters the base and sees the infamous podium.)

R - Now what?

X - All right, Mettaur Maulers! We have succeeded in committing mass Mettaur genocide!

Crowd - Yay!

X - Our new target is that of the Preon. Now, behind me is a projector. Nana, your assistance please. Now, what would you do with this?

(Nana clicks the little button thing and a picture of a banana comes up.)

Crowd - Eat!

X - Good. And this?

(Nana clicks the button again and a shirt comes up.)

Crowd - Wear!

X - Good. And finally, what would you do with this?

(Nana clicks the button one more time and a number of Preons appear.)

Crowd - Slaughter! Maim! Destroy!

X - Excellent! With that, this meeting of the Anti-Preon Posse is now adjourned! -bangs gavel-

R - Right…

(X and the group are sent to the Melda Ore Plant to investigate the source of the Supra-Force Metal. As soon as they exit the teleporter, they run into a random battle. A frozen Degraver stands not-to-far away from them. Cinnamon uses a Warm-Up on his and Degraver 'appears grateful'.)

X - Grateful, huh?

Massimo - We'd better fix that!

(After maiming the Degraver, they enter the plant. They immediately find a locked door which Massimo knocks down. Inside, the find a mutated creature.)

Mutated Creature - Prepare to feel the wrath of Duckbill Mole!

Marino - Duckbill Mole?

(The boss battle begins and Duckbill Mole uses a fire attack on himself, increasing his offensive and defensive strength. Duckbill Mole quickly perishes and Zero achieves the Absolute Zero armor.)

Zero - Hell yeah! I kick major ass chin!

Sigma - -walks in- Stop saying that! The Sailor Moon Parody is long gone!

Zero - Bite me! Or, even better… I'll bite you!

(Zero beats the crap out of Sigma and the group continues on their way. Eventually, they run into a familiar toad with jetpack buttcheeks.)

X - Botos!

Botos - X! You're early!

Zero - We know all about the missile you have!

Botos - Missile? How do you know about…

(Massimo holds up a sign that says 'Supra-Force Metal missile this way'.)

Botos - Oh… But you still need the two keys to open the warhead!

Zero - Then I guess we'll just take it from you!

Botos - You really think it's that simple, do ya?

(The boss battle starts and one attack, repeat, ONE FREAKING ATTACK later, Botos is defeated. I mean, come on! The guy has three health! Anyone who loses to that should be shot in the head!)

X - Yeah. We really think that.

Botos - This isn't over! -runs away-

(They continue on until they find Botos again. He makes a copy of himself and plays a little shell game. Once the group defeats him, they run into again. He does the same thing, only faster. Again, Botos loses and the group eventually run into Ferham.)

Ferham - Line up, boys. I'll make sure that each one of you gets it!

(The boss battle starts and with the advanced Hyper Modes for X and Zero, they beatdown on Ferham. Every time that they inflict a critical hit, Ferham screams at the top of her lungs. Once she is beaten, she falls out of the air and plummets down to the ground about four stories below her. Axl suddenly starts.)

Axl - Wait! The key! We've got to go get the key!

(Axl, being the lovable oaf that we all love to hate, jumps over the railing and also plummets four stories. X shrugs and they make their way down to Ferham.)

X - Where's the key?

Ferham - Hrgh! Botos…

Zero - You've got to be kidding me!

Axl - Hey, guys!

X - Where have you been?

Axl - Falling to the ground. Where else?

(X and the group begin making their way back up to Botos and, about halfway there, Botos is killed by Spider, who appeared out of nowhere. When the group gets up to the top, they find what remains of the toad with jetpack buttcheeks.)

Zero - He's dead…

X - I really didn't know that, Zero! He's only missing his head!

Zero - Oh, right… Sorry…

* * *

Well, that was shorter than expected… Ah well. Anyways, in the next chapter, we'll finish going through the ten chapters and then we'll make fun of each and every one of the Tail Clan battles. And that brings a good point.

See the introductory statements at the top of the page? I wrote those on 6/21/05. See the stuff you're reading now? I wrote this on 6/23/05. Why am I telling you this? Because on 6/22/05, I defeated the bastard Ninetails! He didn't even see his own ass get beaten!

Anyways, I can now make fun of him to my hearts desire. Also, Read and Review because you'll probably want to see what I make him do in the next chapter. Wink wink! Hint hint!


	11. Command Mission Parody pt 3

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

At long last, the Command Mission parody is almost over! Finally, I can move on to something else! And, in this chapter, the Tail Clan get a piece of their own painful medicine. Oh, the sweet irony of it all… Here's chapter eleven!

* * *

Parody #9

A Parody of Megaman X: Command Mission

By: The X series

* * *

-Chapter Nine-

(R walks in and again sees that infamous podium.)

R - Now what…

X - All right, fellow Preon haters. We're about to go into the bowels of the Grave Ruins Base. A base run by none other… THAN THE PREON! This base is crawling with them. Your mission is to destroy every last one of them!

Crowd - Yay!

X - Now let's destroy the Preon infidel once and for all! -bangs gavel-

R - Oh, boy…

(Central Tower is attacked and an odd knight-like robot is waiting for X.)

Knight - If you think that you've hurt us by securing the missile's Supra-Force Metal, you're wrong. Now, give it back!

X - Can't do that. We don't have it.

Knight - Oh… Well… See ya then… I guess… Dramatic exit! -jumps over the railing and plummets a thousand feet to the water-

X - Right…

(X and the group are sent to the Grave Ruins Base. After several thousand Preons are slaughtered, they finally meet Epsilon again.)

X - You!

Epsilon - Me!

X - You!

Epsilon - Me!

X - You!

Epsilon - Me!

Knight - Cut it out!

Epsilon - Scarface! I'm debating with this individual.

Scarface - Perhaps, but if you were to lose, who would carry the Rebellion Army torch? Allow me to show the depth of my faith!

Epsilon - If you insist…

(X and the group defeat Scarface again and Scarface says his final words.)

Scarface - Glory to the Rebellion!

Epsilon - Just die already.

(Scarface does and the Epsilon battle begins. It's Epsilon's turn. He attacks with 'Metacrush'.)

Epsilon - Butt blast!

(Epsilon reduces Axl's health to one in a single turn.)

Zero - You Sephiroth rip-off! Take this! -activates Absolute Zero-

(Epsilon activates his second form and the group eventually kills him off. Redips walks up.)

Redips - X! You are to be commended.

X - Thank you, sir!

(The group returns to base as Redips chuckles.)

Redips - Morons.

-Chapter Ten-

(For the final time… Well, you don't need me to tell you what R sees, do you?)

X - Let us have a moment of silence for those who have been lost to our deeds. -bows-

Narrator - Three seconds later…

X - That's enough! And so, the final meeting of the Anti- Mettaur/ Preon Haters Club is now adjourned. -bangs gavel-

R - The Anti-Mettaur Haters Club?

X - And Preons too!

R - Right…

(X begins saying his good-byes. He begins talking to Gaudile.)

Gaudile - Well, it's been nice knowing you, X. But… -blows his brains out-

X - What in the hell!

Cinnamon - He was taking Ecstasy.

X - Oh…

(X and everyone else walks up to the heliport where Jango was fought. Redips' ship opens fire, kills R, and destroys most of Central Tower. He then calls X and everyone else traitors.)

Zero - That's it. Time to kick some ass.

X - Oh, yeah.

(They move on and soon find…)

X - What the…

Jango - Rrrr… Roar! Arr!

(The group beats Jango down and continues on. They soon find out that they have to fight Jentra, Incentas, Silver Horn, and Mad Nautilus over again. They start with Nautilus.)

Nautilus - You'll never beat my evolved form!

Marino - Already have!

(They beat him and continue on to Jentra.)

Jentra - It's all for the ideal!

Axl - What's the freaking ideal!

(They beat him and Jentra does something odd.)

Jentra - Maverick Hunters… -blows up- Too powerful…

X - What the…

(Jentra dies and they move on to Incentas.)

Incentas - Get what's coming to you!

Zero - That ain't much!

(They beat him and continue on to Silver Horn.)

Silver Horn - Grrr… Toast… TOAST…

Massimo - Silver Horn… You rat! You're here, too? I… I AM Steel Massimo now!

X - No, you're not.

Massimo - I know… -sob-

(They beat him and continue on to an odd dragon-like reploid known as Depth Dragoon.)

Depth Dragoon - I'll take ya on!

X - Bring it on, bitch!

(Depth Dragoon attacks with 'Lightning Barrage'.)

Depth Dragoon - The guilty shall be punished!

X - In which case…

(The lightning strikes Depth Dragoon instead.)

X - Figured.

(They defeat him and eventually find Redips. As a matter of fact, they beat him in three turns.)

Zero - Blast! We lost R and Spider for this lousy creep!

(A.N. Major spoiler alert! To the bomb shelters!)

Redips - Ah, Spider. -uses Axl's changing ability and turns into Spider-

(After a little 'negotiating', they move on until Redips uses the Supra-Force Metal to turn into Great Redips. X and the group get their butts beaten, but jump back in action when Ferham returns and rips off Supra-Force Metal R.)

Great Redips - Meddling insects!

(Great Redips attacks with 'Momento Mori' and freezes the entire good party.)

X - Not… Cool…

(X and the group finally beat Great Redips.)

Great Redips - How could **_I_** lose!

X - 'Cause you suck at everything!

(After Redips dies, Ferham asks permission to dispose of the Supra-Force Metal, gets it, and jumps off of the platform. Oh, yeah. One more thing. Did I mention that they're IN SPACE!)

Ferham - I'll take it to a place so far away that no one will were find it.

X - NOOOOOOOOOO!

Axl - What's with you?

X - The bitch had my Ding-Dongs!

(The group lands on Earth and they open the hatch which was closed. They see that they're in the middle of the ocean)

Zero - Guys. I think that we've got a LONG swim ahead of us.

X - Ya think!

(The credits roll through and the data is reloaded.)

-Backtracking for Items-

(A.N. Despite the name of this part of the chapter, I'm going to make fun of basic enemies here, not items.)

(The group returns to Lagrano Ruins to build up on experience. The have 'Attractor' equipped, doubling their chances of running into a random battle. As a matter of fact, they just ran into one. There are two Wild Patrol Dogs and a Wild Rescue Dog.)

Axl - Hey, guys! Look at their little gun-shaped nipples!

X - Can we kill him too? Please.

(There's nothing much more to make fun of here, so on to Central Tower! Just kidding. Not yet, at least. For now, they go to Tianna Camp. There, they run into a regular, everyday Mettaur.)

Massimo - What's the verdict, boss?

X - -raises his hand-

Mettaur - Meep?

X - -gives the thumbs-up- We'll let this one slide for now.

Massimo - Aw…

(Again, nothing much more there. So, onward to the Gaudile Laboratory.)

(A.N. I'm not going to make fun of anything inside the Eternal Forest 'cause that would be too easy."

X - Get ready! It's another random battle!

Marino - What's this?

(The enemies consist of three enemies known as a Pararoid.)

X - I don't care. Just kill it. I'm up first.

(X uses the Nova Strike Action Trigger with the Ultimate Armor. After a walloping 112 hit combo, the Pararoid is still flying around, untouched.)

X -You're kidding me, right?

(The next random battle involves two Rabbids. Their first attack is a move called 'Spray Gun'. The one attacking hops around and shoots a barrage of bullets from a little hole in it's butt.)

X - RUN FOR IT!

(Dramatic 'run away' music begins playing as time begins moving in slow motion. The bullets get closer and eventually hits Zero. He falls to the ground.)

X - ZZZZZEEEEERRRRROOOOO!

(After running from battle, time going back to it's normal speed, and the group revives Zero with a "Backup', they decide to ditch that place and go to the Ulfat Factory. Their first battle involves a Preon Nurse. After slaughtering it's teammates, Preon Nurse uses All Life Gain 25 on X's party. Being the cruel beings that they are, they kill it anyways and move on to Gimialla Mine. There, they encounter a trio of Rush Loaders.)

X - Hey! Aren't those the annoying enemies from _Megaman X7_?

Zero - I think that they are!

Axl - Let's kill 'em all!

(They get bored and move on to Vanallia Desert. On the Quicksand's North Side, they encounter a Golden B-Blader. X uses Nova Strike on it.)

X - Stupid bee-shaped helicopter!

(They're next battle is with a D-Rex. It uses 'Mini-Bomb'. A miniature D-Rex begins hopping very slowly towards X.)

X - Screw this. -kills D-rex-

Narrator - Later that day…

Axl - Hey, guys? Do you hear something?

(They all turn around and see the miniature D-Rex still hopping towards X.)

X - Run away!

(After escaping the miniature D-Rex, they move onto the Melda Ore Plant. There, they encounter a Gun Bit.)

X - Oh crap!

Zero - More butt bunnies! AHHH!

A(After escaping the battle, they run into a Gift Box. After seven turns, in gets ready to drop a pair of Kitty Gloves for Cinnamon.)

X - Ready, guys?

(The Gift Box runs away.)

X - NOOOOO!

(They decide not to go to the Grave Ruins Base again 'cause they killed of the Preons there. Instead, Nana tells X about Sky Room.)

Nana - You've been collecting figures, right?

X - Yeah…

Nana - Well, they're all displayed in Sky Room.

X - Really? Take me there!

(As X is being teleported to Sky Room, he says one last odd statement.)

X - Beam me up, Scotty!

(Nana and R exchange confused glances. Zero, who's been having a bad day walks up behind Axl and grabs him by the throat.)

Zero - Tell me where he is, bitch!

Axl - The Sky Room! Don't kill me!

Zero - Thank you. -drops Axl-

(As Zero is being beamed up to Sky Room, he to says something weird.)

Zero - Beam me up…

Nana - FINISH THAT SENTENCE AND YOU'RE DEAD!

R - -jumps away-

(In the Sky Room, Zero finds X playing with figures of himself, Zero, and Axl.)

Figure Axl - Please, save me, X!

Figure Zero - Yes! We need help!

Figure X - I am helping!

(X begins laughing as Zero says the first thing that comes to mind.)

Zero - When your finished playing with yourself, I'll be downstairs.

X - That was mean… And sickening.

-The Tail Clan Battles-

(A.N. I'm just letting you know that I didn't come up with this quite unoriginal names. So don't flame me. Flame Capcom.)

(X and the group begin going down a long, spiraling staircase and they run into a random battle with a kitsune-like being. His name is Onetail.)

Onetail - I challenge you to a fight.

X - Psycho…

(Onetail attacks with Annihilator Hadouken, killing two of the three party members. Onetail seems surprised, but continues anyways.)

X - Psycho!

(After numerous defeats, X and the group finally manage to beat Onetail. They move on and run into another reploid. His name is Twotails. To make matters worse, there are two of them.)

Twotails - I challenge you to a fight.

X - Oh no…

(The Twotails kill X's party with two consecutive Annihilator Hadoukens. Again, after numerous attempts, the group finally wins. After dragging their sore bottoms back to base to refill their health, they move one and find yet another reploid. His name is Threetails. Starting to see a pattern, aren't we?)

Threetails - I challenge you to a fight.

X - Not three of 'em!

Metal Sonic EX - Yes, three! Mwahahaha!

X - I hate life!

Life - And I hate you!

(After getting their hinnies kicked a dozen times, they run into another random battle with a reploid. Guess what _his_ name is?)

Fourtails - I challenge you to a fight.

X - At least there's only one of him. -uses Analyzer- Hmmm… Oh, fudge biscuits!

Massimo - What?

X - He's got 380 power!

Marino - Meaning…

Fourtails - Meaning that you're all screwed.

Axl - Here we go again.

(After defeating the extremely powerful Fourtails, they run into Fivetails.)

Fivetails - I challenge…

Zero - We get the picture!

Axl - And we're back to three of 'em…

Cinnamon - Come on! How hard can it be?

(Everyone looks at her weird.)

Marino - We're so dumping her.

(The group destroys two easily and take the third one down to almost Final Strike-type health. However, Fivetails uses self-destruct on Cinnamon, killing her off.)

X - No one likes her anyways…

(They move on and run into Sixtails.)

Sixtails - I…

Axl - Say and we hurt you!

Sixtails Defeat me in ten turns… or else!

Zero - Or else what?

Narrator - Nine turns later…

X - Alright! He's got 6000 life left! We're gonna…

Sixtails - Here I come! -Uses Life Gain MAX-

X - NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!

(A.N. What's with X? Well, when you fight Sixtails, if your power isn't high enough, you'll be lucky to take half off his health in ten turns. Trust me… He's one hard pain in the ass.)

(After defeating Sixtails at long last, they move on to Seventails.)

Seventails - I challenge you to a fight.

X - We know!

(Not much here that I can parody, so let's move on. The group wins and descends lower into the room where Eighttails is held.)

Eighttails - I challenge you to a fight.

Marino - Can we just get to the killing now?

(A.N. At long last, I've reached the Ninetails battle! I've longed for this day!)

(The group continues and finds the Tail Clan leader, Ninetails.)

Ninetails - My strength is unparalleled.

X - Oh, dear…

(Ninetails attacks with Annihilator Hadouken and kills two party members and seriously wounding the other. Ninetails looks at the camera funny and gets a goofy grin.)

Ninetails - Let's do it again!

Zero - No!

(Ninetails uses Regeneration, reviving X and Axl and giving them 25 life energy back. He then attacks with Annihilator Hadouken again and kills everyone.)

Ninetails - Aw… I did it again… Now I have to wait another century for a friend to come. Or…

(The battle restarts and Ninetails kills ever5yone again.)

Ninetails - Hey! This is fun!

(The battle restarts again and he dashes towards Axl, turns around, and attacks with Nine Fragments. This attack is a nine-hit combo and does 999 damage for each hit.)

Zero - Why don't you just call it 'swift kick to balls'?

Ninetails - 'Cause this is swift kick to balls!

(Ninetails dashes towards Zero and attacks with Puncture Arrows, reducing Zero's WE to… Well… Zero.)

Zero - Why you dirty rotten pig monkey!

Ninetails - No. This is dirty rotten pig monkey! -attacks Terra Fire-

Zero - Bastard!

Ninetails - No! This is…

X - Cut it out!

(After getting the crap kicked out of them, they retreat back to base.)

X - How the hell are we supposed to beat someone at Level 99?

(There is a knock at the door. X opens and finds…)

X - You!

Ninetails - You dropped this.

(The 'Psycho' theme begins playing as he holds up a piece of toast. Nana gasps when she this and everyone but Ninetails stiffens.)

Ninetails - What?

Nana - WHO THE HELL'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS!

(Cinnamon looks around nervously and, by doing so, gets booted out of the ceiling by Nana.)

Marino - Yes! No more retards!

Ninetails - Oh, yeah. One more thing.

(Ninetails attacks with Annihilator Hadouken, kills everyone, and brings them back to life, running away afterwards.)

X - That's the last straw!

(The battle begins anew.)

Ninetails - My strength is unparalleled.

Zero - Until now!

(The group proceeds to kill Ninetails off once and for all. However, his body remains intact.)

X - HELL YES!

Zero - What do we do now.

Narrator - Months later, at Christmas…

(The group is outside, enjoying the snow and decorating the makeshift tree. Ninetails is the makeshift tree, just so you know.)

Ninetails - I hate life…

Life - And I hate you…

Narrator - Meanwhile, in the Grave Ruins Base…

(Cinnamon falls into the base and is immediately surrounded in Preons.)

Cinnamon - Help…

* * *

And thus ends the Command Mission parody! In the next chapter, the Classic series is back and one of the Robot Masters is the main star. Although, it might take a while for me to write it seeing as I've never seen the movie before, but I've got a plan. Until then, Read and Review so I don't kill anyone! 


	12. Indiana Jones Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

I'm back! And this chapter is going to be pumped full of humor, laughs, giggles, random behavior, and even a guffaw or two! Plus, it's probably going to be one of my longer chapters ever! Now, I've recently seen the movie, so I shouldn't get anything wrong. And finally, this was inspired by a piece of fan artwork from Check it out, they've got some funny stuff there. And so, here's my tenth parody!

* * *

Parody #10

A Parody of Indiana Jones

By: The Classic series

* * *

(The scene is a blank room that goes on forever. Megaman pokes his head in before coming into full-view.)

Megaman - Hello. I am Megaman. The original Megaman.

(Suddenly, Eminem's 'The Real Slim Shady' begins playing and Megaman sings along, just replacing 'Slim Shady' with 'Megaman'. Just when it gets annoying, a ball is thrown and hits Megaman in the head. The music scratches.)

Megaman - Ow!

Protoman - -from offstage- Just get to the point!

Megaman - Fine! Fine! I'm afraid to say that there will be no parody this time round because the star of it hasn't shown up yet.

(Suddenly, Snake Man runs up.)

Snake Man - Sorry I'm late! My plane from _Video Game Village_ got shot down.

Megaman - Right… Hey! Wait a sec! You're Indiana Jones?

Snake Man - Yeah. So?

Megaman - How's that going to work out?

Snake Man - Well, it was either me or Frost Man, but we have a policy on no smoking.

Megaman - Smoking?

-Flashback-

Metal Sonic EX - Congratulations! You're our new Indiana Jones!

Frost Man - Yay!

(Suddenly, Wood Man walks by. Frost Man picks him up and pops him into his mouth headfirst.)

Wood Man - Let me out of here! It smells like cabbage!

(Suddenly, Heat Man walks by. Frost Man picks him up and uses him as a lighter to set Wood Man on fire.)

Heat Man - Why you… That's it! I quit!

(Wood Man no longer makes a sound as Frost Man begins smoking him as a cigarette.)

Metal Sonic EX - On second thought, I'll call you.

-End Flashback-

Megaman - Right…

Snake Man - From what I've heard, he did get another part though.

Megaman - Really? What?

Snake Man - Who knows. Anyways, parody is going to start soon. So I've got to go get dressed. -leaves-

Megaman - Right. Okay, my bad. We are going to have a parody and it's going to be fun. You're going to like it or you'll die. We do have snipers watching you and if you don't like it, even for a second, BANG! No more you.

Protoman - Getting a little crazy there, eh?

Megaman - Just a little…

(The scene fades out and the parody begins. The new setting is a jungle. A man in a suit, Megaman, Toad Man, and Top Man are all walking through the jungle. Top Man cuts down some bushes and Guts Man is standing there with his tongue out. This causes Top Man to cry out in fright.)

Snake Man - Guts Man? Why are you standing there like that?

Guts Man - -sounds very weird- I burnt my tongue while eating hot soup.

Snake Man - So, why are you in the jungle?

(A brief silence follows.)

Guts Man - It was hot monkey soup.

(Megaman smacks his face and the group moves onwards. The eventually come to a shallow river where Snake Man bends over and begins cleaning his face. Crash Man walks up behind him, draws a gun, cocks it, and gets whipped across the face thanks to Snake Man.)

Crash Man - -knocked out-

Snake Man - I swear that I did that better during rehearsal.

(Again, the group continues. They eventually come across a cave opening with a sign by it. It reads: Big Spooky Cave - straight ahead. Quick Shortcut Without Peril - to your left, then go forward for about two miles, then head east.)

Snake Man - Come on. This way. -walks towards cave entrance-

Toad Man - Shouldn't we take the shortcut?

Snake Man - They'll be expecting that…

Toad Man - Who's 'they'?

Snake Man - Do you know… The muffin man?

Toad Man - The muffin man?

Snake Man - The muffin man!

Toad Man - Oh…

(The group, save Megaman who ran away like a little girl and Toad Man who is standing guard, enter the cave and Snake Man pauses when he sees a pillar of light. He brushes his hand through it and a wall of spikes crashes into a nearby wall. Ring Man is on the spikes. He turns to Snake Man.)

Ring Man - Howdy!

Snake Man - Okay…

(They move on and soon find the room with the golden statue in it. After quickly swapping the statue with a potato, a trap is activated and Snake Man makes a run for it. Along the way, poisonous arrows begin shooting from the walls on either side.)

Snake Man - Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

(When Snake Man gets back to Top Man, his body is covered in arrows. Snake Man spins around and his body is as good as new.)

Top Man - How'd you…

Snake Man - No time for questions! Move!

(After being betrayed by Top Man, Snake Man escapes a trap, finds Top Man's dead body, takes the statue back, and runs into a long hallway. Suddenly, a noise from above him catches his attention.)

Snake Man - Frost Man?

Frost Man - -curled up like a ball- Hi. Oh boy…

(Seeing as this is a famous movie scene and that in a fan-made video that the author, Metal Sonic EX, has seen, this is the demented parody of that scene. Snake Man begins running for his life as the Frost Man boulder begins chasing him.)

Frost Man - Popsicle! Popsicle! Popsicle! Popsicle! Popsicle!

(Eventually, Frost Man gets stuck in a hole and Snake Man narrowly escapes. Suddenly, Dr. Wily walks up and Snake Man notices Toad Man. He falls down with a knife in his back.)

Snake Man - That knife… I think that I've seen it somewhere before…

(Suddenly, a Master Tonberry, who was about to stab a statue of Snake Man, hides his knife and scuttles off.)

Snake Man - Okay… That had nothing to do with Indiana Jones, but I guess that's fine.

(At this time, Snake Man notices the half-naked natives pointing their arrows at him.)

Snake Man - Oh boy…

Wily - The statue…

(Snake Man reluctantly hands it over and he soon makes a break for it. Wily motions that the natives should follow and kill him and they run off.)

Wily - Soon the world will be mine! Mwahahaha… -CRACK!- Ow! My back! My… Someone help me! Please!)

Narrator - Meanwhile, on a nearby plane…

(Megaman is sitting on the biplane while fishing in a stream.)

Megaman - This is so… Hey! I caught something!

Bass - This is not funny!

(Suddenly, Snake Man appears and Megaman stands up, releasing his 'catch of the day'.)

Megaman - What the…

Snake Man - Start the damn plane!

(Suddenly, all of the natives pop up and Megaman immediately starts the plane. Snake Man runs up, jumps, and grabs a vine as the Indiana Jones theme begins playing. When Snake Man lets go, instead of falling in the water, he falls onto the small embankment. The Indiana Jones theme continues playing anyways.)

Snake Man - That didn't go quite as I had planned…

(Snake Man jumps into the water and swims over to the plane as it begins to take off and the natives start shooting arrows at him. Snake Man climbs into the front seat of the plane as he looks back at the natives while putting on goggles.)

Snake Man - I'm glad that I got out of there.

Megaman - Why? They've only got bows and arrows, right?

(To Megaman's surprise, the natives then pull out a bazooka.)

Snake Man - Wrong.

(As the plane takes off, the duo barely manage to avoid the rocket that the natives fired. In the air, Snake Man looks down and gasps.)

Snake Man - Megaman! There's a big snake in the plane!

Megaman - Um… That's you.

Snake Man - Oh… Right… We'll never speak of this again.

(After landing, Snake Man and some random professor are brought into the assembly hall.)

Snake Man - You called?

Megaman - Yes! And it's about damn time I got this off of my chest! Look at this!

(Megaman points to his lower torso.)

Snake Man - So…

Megaman - So? So I've been forced to go through God knows how many games while wearing… Iron panties!

(A.N. This was somewhat my idea. It's just that my friend 'forced' me to add this. Seeing as he's about twice as tall as me, I had to do it.)

Snake Man - Come again?

Megaman - You heard me! Iron panties! I've been forced to wear these damn things through all of my games, and yet look at the X series! He gets a new pair of them every game! Sometimes, he even gets two!

Snake Man - Are you feeling all right?

Megaman - No! I'm not done complaining yet! As for the staff at Capcom, either give me a new pair of iron panties in upcoming games or at least give me an explanation!

Narrator - One long and boring explanation later…

Megaman - Oh… Well. I guess I'll just go Oh! And these guys want you to find this ark for them. Bye! -leaves-

(As Snake Man and the random professor walk away, they begin to converse.)

Random Professor - Did you understand any of that?

Snake Man - I heard 'money'.

(The scene changes to a long time later in some bar in Russia. A female, Roll, and an ordinary, everyday drunk are in the middle of an intense staring contest. Suddenly, the drunkard falls backwards and everyone begins paying Roll.)

Roll - What losers. They can't last three minutes with me.

(After Snake Man arrives and a long conversation follows, the conversation comes to a close.)

Roll - Come back tomorrow.

Snake Man - Why?

Roll - Because we just closed.

(Snake Man shrugs and leaves. Suddenly, several bad guys walk in. They consist of Nameless Idiot 1, Nameless Idiot 2, Nameless Idiot 3, and Cloud Man. After some brief conversing, Snake Man reappears and they get into a bar fight. Shortly after the fight starts, a fire is started and Snake Man continues to fire an abnormal amount of bullets.)

Nameless Idiot 2 - Wait, how are you able to fire so many rounds?

Snake Man - It's called Unlimited Ammo Cheat, bitch!

(After escaping the bar and defeating the bad guys, Roll joins Snake Man. After going to Cairo, getting a room, and befriending a monkey, they head to the town square. Suddenly, the monkey runs away.)

Roll - My monkey's getting away! Someone grab my monkey!

(Everyone just stare at her and they continue on. Suddenly, Roll and Snake Man become separated and several villains wearing turbans appear. Flame Man is their leader.)

Flame Man - I can't believe I agreed to this.

(Snake Man just stands there as all of the villains try punching him, but end up punching their allies instead. Soon, all of the villains have knocked themselves unconscious.)

Snake Man - Villains are beyond stupid.

Narrator - Meanwhile, on the other side of town…

(Roll is running from the turbaned villains and hides inside a box. Unfortunately for her, the box is labeled 'This does not contain a person'. After the villains figure this out and begin taking the crate away, Snake Man runs into a clearing where Shadow Man stands. He withdraws his katana and begins doing death-defying feats with it. Snake Man gets annoyed, draws his gun, shoots Shadow Man, and watches as he deflects the bullet. However, he ends up blowing to pieces anyways. Snake Man shrugs, finds Roll's crate, and watches as the car transporting it is blown to pieces. Later, in a restaurant, another nameless idiot begins the meeting between him and Snake Man. Whew!)

Nameless Idiot - Come. Let us do this like civilized people.

(As Snake Man sits down, the two begin to cram food into their face. Afterwards, they converse and, just as the nameless idiot is about to harm Snake Man, dozens of squirrels run in and begin carrying him away.)

Nameless Idiot - You're lucky, Mr. Jones! Next time, you won't have your squirrels to save you!

(Later, at a secret hideout, Snake Man and an old friend, Hard Man, discover that the villains are looking in the wrong spot.)

Hard Man - I'm a little teapot, short and stoat! Here is my handle! Here is my spout!

Snake Man - Don't do that.

Hard Man - Wait! Look!

(The two look over and see Roll's monkey dead due to poisoned dates.)

Snake Man - Oh no! They poisoned my monkey!

(After sneaking into the temple, Snake Man begins to reveal where the ark is, but he dozes off. Suddenly, a loud noise awakens him and he looks at the miniature map of the city.)

Snake Man - Hmmm… I've got to find a a giant burn spot next to a coffee stain… Interesting…

(After emerging from the hole in the ground, Snake Man sneaks into a tent and finds Roll gagged and tied to a pole.)

Snake Man - Oh, it's just you. -leaves-

(Once Snake Man and Hard Man get a group put together, they begin digging and they soon fall into a hole as the ground collapses.)

Snake Man - Well, that's a stupid place to put a hole!

(Moments later, when the group exits the hole, everyone notices the spot they should've been digging in three feet away from them.)

Snake Man - What the fu…

Hard Man - Oh, look! A hawk!

(Finally, in the middle on an oncoming storm, they find a panel and open it. They peek inside and, when the lightning flashes, everyone sees the Mech Dragon from Megaman 2 is seen with an extremely creepy smile on.)

Snake Man - Now I'm scared.

(After noticing the ground is moving, Hard Man says something half-intelligent.)

Hard Man - I think the ground's moving.

(Snake Man grabs a torch and throws it into the pit. Then, it's revealed that the floor is covered in asps.)

Snake Man - Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?

Hard Man - But, you're snake.

Snake Man - That doesn't matter…

(Meanwhile, back in the tent, Wily has untied Roll and given her a nightgown with Winnie the Pooh on it. As Roll walks behind the wall thing to change, Wily, being the old perverted person that he is, looks in a mirror to watch here change. However, Roll's face is right next to his.)

Roll - NO PEEKING!

(Back at the excavation sight, Snake Man is dropped accidentally into the pit and comes face-to-face with an asp.)

Hard Man - See? I told you that you'd be alright!

Snake Man - Come down here and I'll show you how ALRIGHT I am!

(A canister is passed down to Snake Man and he squirts the snakes with it. He then throws a torch on them, but nothing happens.)

Snake Man - What is this?

Hard Man - It's my spray-on skin moisturizer. See how smooth my skin is?

(After Hard Man, with much difficulty, is lowered into the temple, he and Snake Man try to lift the lid off of the golden ark, but fail.)

Hard Man - Well, that sucks.

Snake Man - Yeah. This weighs more than your grandmother.

Hard Man - Hey!

Snake Man - What? Your grandma's so fat that when she weighs herself, the scale says 'to be continued'.

Hard Man - HEY!

Snake Man - Plus, your grandma's so ugly that it looks like she got hit in the face with a bag of 'what the fu…'

Hard Man - THAT'S IT!

(Hard Man picks up and throws Snake Man into the snake pit.)

Snake Man - You did remember that all of the snakes are dead, right?

Hard Man - Unfortunately, no.

(As Snake Man's group begin lifting the ark from the temple, Wily, Cloud Man, and Tengu Man watch this from their base.)

Cloud Man - Eh, it's probably nothing important.

Tengu Man - Hey, there were some guys lifting this box out of this hole. Should we be worried?

(As Snake Man goes to leave the pits, the rope is thrown in and a conversation between Snake Man and Wily takes place. Suddenly, a villain walks up with Roll and throws her towards the pit. However, she catches the edges with her hands and feet eagle-style.)

Wily - Okay, fine. Send in… Fat Albert!

Roll - NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!

Fat Albert - Hey hey hey!

(Roll willingly lets go and falls into the pit. Then, the bad guys push the panel over the hole to seal the two friends inside. However, the panel falls into the hole and crushed Snake Man.)

Tengu Man - Oh, boy. That's not good.

(After rescuing Snake Man from the panel and being sealed in, Snake Man climbs onto a statue in an attempt to break the nearby wall down with it. He drops at torch down to Roll. However, instead of catching it, she misses and her hair is set on fire. After putting her hair out and breaking down the wall, she hugs Snake Man.)

Roll - I can't believe that worked! Wait a sec…

(Roll looks up and sees that she hugged Ring Man instead.)

Ring Man - Howdy!

(An odd scene of Roll turning around and around begins, except instead of skeletons, she sees Barney, his friends, the Teletubbies, Mr. Rogers, and other numerous PBS characters. Eventually, Snake Man finds her and they begin escaping. Soon, they find a loose panel of stone.)

Snake Man - Well, here goes nothing.

(Snake Man pushes the block free and sniffs the air.)

Snake Man - Dare I ask why that block of 'stone' was actually a big hunk of cheese?

Metal Sonic EX - Don't ask.

(After some interesting crap happens, Roll gets in the pilot's seat of a spinning fighter plane.)

Roll - Die you poorly developed characters! -fires machine gun- Did I get him?

Snake Man - Well, you shot the hell out of a cactus.

Roll - Yay me!

(Soon, Snake Man gets his butt handed to him by Spring Man and Snake Man scurries away as Spring Man gets stuck on the plane's propeller.)

Spring Man - This really sucks!

(As Roll and Snake Man scurry off and Spring Man begins to spin around the propeller, the gas that has been leaking begins igniting.)

Spring Man - Oh shi… -BOOM!-

(Soon, Snake Man and Roll run into Hard Man.)

Hard Man - Sweep sheep-squeezers! You're alive! Just so you know, the ark has been loaded onto a truck.

Snake Man - Which one?

(Hard Man points to a truck that has a halo of light above it as 'Hallelujah' is heard.)

Snake Man - Oh, that one.

Roll - You'll need some transportation.

Snake Man - Already got some.

(As the truck drives off, Snake Man begins his pursuit on the back of a donkey. Soon, Snake Man hijacks the truck, runs over the donkey, and drives through a tree.)

Snake Man - That'll teach that ass who's boss!

(Snake Man continues driving through many more trees before going back onto the road. Soon, a villain soldier climbs along the side of the truck all the way to the passenger's side door. He points a gun at Snake Man and he draws his. However, the villain is holding his gun the wrong way and he ends up blowing his own brains out. Snake Man begins to put his gun back.)

Snake Man - Man, that guy was stupid. -shoots himself in the shoulder-

(Another villain climbs along the other side and knocks Snake Man onto the hood, Snake Man instinctively grabs the hood ornament, which is a monkey.)

Villain - Hey! Get your hand off of my monkey!

(Soon, the ornament breaks and Snake Man falls onto the grill and is pelted with bugs.)

Snake Man - Stupid bugs!

(Snake Man is then pelted with a raccoon.)

Snake Man - What the…

(Snake Man looks ahead and sees a moose in the middle of the road.)

Snake Man - Oh crap! -gets hit with moose-

(After regaining his composure and climbing along the bottom of the truck, Snake Man latches his whip onto the bottom of it and lets go. He is then dragged along with the truck.)

Snake Man - Wheeee!

After Snake Man knocks the villain onto the hood, he falls off and gets run over by the truck.)

Snake Man -Well, I guess he had that coming. -BUMP!- Eh, that old guy was already there.

(After escaping with the ark, him and Roll meet up with Hard Man and his foreign friend.)

Foreign Friend - Mr. Snake Man! You're appearance is just as I would've imagined it would be!

Roll - I'm Roll.

Foreign Friend - Oh, right. Mr. Snake Man…

Snake Man - Shove a turkey in it.

(Roll kisses Hard Man goodbye and then joins Snake Man on the boat as it begins to leave. Again, Hard Man begins singing.)

Hard Man - I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts! Dee da la dee! There they are! All standing in a row!

(On the boat, Roll and Snake Man are using a double-sided mirror. Roll is examining her new clothing on one and Snake Man is examining his cuts and bruises on the other. Suddenly, Roll notices a smudge on her side. So, she flips the mirror around, knocking Snake Man backwards and out of a porthole.)

Roll - Did you say something?

(After getting rescued, Snake Man begins complaining about his numerous cuts and bruises.)

Roll - Oh, come on! You've been shot, whipped, and dragged from behind a truck and **now** complaining? Honestly, you're on a one-way trip to Weenieland.

Snake Man - But it hurts weally bad!

(In the morning, Snake Man looks out of the window and sees an enemy submarine.)

Snake Man - Hey, Roll! Wake up! There's a submarine full of people coming to kill us. And put some lipstick on for God's sake!

(After the enemies board the ship and Roll is captured, another nameless idiot throws a cigarette into the pipe that Snake Man is hiding in. Unfortunately, it is thrown into his eye. He hisses instead of yelling to prevent anyone from discovering him.)

Snake Man - Damn that nameless idiot!

(After his, no pun intended, hissy-fit, Snake Man slides down the pipe and catches fire for no reason. However, he falls into the ocean shortly thereafter, putting the fire out. As he climbs onto the enemy submarine, he tries to make a card house to pass time, but to no avail. Once he infiltrates the enemy base, an enemy soldier comes over and begins to buff and wax Snake Man. He knees the soldier in the groin and mysteriously, all of his clothes fall onto Snake Man's body. He shrugs and continues onward. As he follows a convoy of enemy soldiers, Wily bends over and everyone behind him falls like dominoes.)

Snake Man - I feel bad for them.

(After discovering Snake Man, having Snake Man draw a bazooka on them, and one long and boring speech from Wily later, Snake Man scoffs.)

Snake Man - Whatever.

(Snake Man fires the bazooka, but instead of going forward, it destroys the mountains behind him.)

Snake Man - Slight miscalculation.

(After being captured and transported to the villains' base, Snake Man and Roll are tied to a giant statue of Wily.)

Roll - Talk about self-praising…

(The ark is opened and Tengu Man reaches inside to bring out…)

Tengu Man - Pornographic magazines? Interesting… (Oh! The next issue of Playboy is in here! Sweet!

(Suddenly, a boring part involving ghosts happen and Snake Man and Roll keep their eyes shut. Suddenly, Wily's head explodes and Tengu Man's mask melts off, only to reveal another underneath it. He looks around before slinking away. Cloud Man's face caves-in on itself and he inflates his head by blowing into his thumb. He too looks around before slinking away. Afterwards, all of the villains are sucked into the ark and the lid shuts. However, a hand reemerges from it, grabs a pornographic magazine and some Cheetos, and retreats back into the ark.)

Snake Man - Well, that was… Interesting…

(After going back at America, Snake Man, the random professor, Megaman, and one final nameless idiot are in a meeting.)

Nameless Idiot - The ark has incredible power and MUST be researched!

Snake Man - Well, if you want your face to melt off, be my guest! To be completely honest, I'd prefer you're face like that!

Nameless Idiot - I'm being serious here! This thing has immense power!

Snake Man - Me too! -farts-

(After emerging from the meetings room, Roll begins walking across he street.)

Roll - So, do you want to have a drink some… -gets hit by bus-

Snake Man - Well, that sucks.

(The scene changes to a warehouse with numerous boxes in it. A man is about to place a crate containing the ark in to it's new spot, but a box falls over and crushes him. Amusing, ain't it?)

* * *

How'd ya like it? Anyways, special thanks to Kinetikai for helping me come up with a lot of the gags from this parody. In the next chapter, I make another parody of Family Feud and my brother and I guest star. Trust me, I don't like my brother. So he's going to be doing a lot of stuff he wouldn't normally do. But, then again, he does yell 'Taco!' a lot, so I'll have fun with that. Anyways, Read and Review and I'll continue! 


	13. Another Family Feud Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

In this chapter, I'm making another parody of Family Feud and my brother and I guest star. This one is going to be a lot longer and funnier than the last one. Also, my brother IS obsessed with tacos for God knows what reason, so don't let the stuff in here frighten you. It's only frightening if you actually meet him in person. Anyways, here's my eleventh parody!

* * *

Parody #11

Another Parody of Family Feud

By: The Legends series

* * *

(The Family Feud parody begins as the announcer announces Louie's entrance.)

Announcer - here's your host: Louie Anderson!

(The crowd cheers as Louie, who's got less armor this time takes his place at the podium. The Family Feud theme fades out.)

Louie - Welcome to another parody of Family Feud. Today, on the left, the Casket family! With Megaman Voulnut…

(Megaman waves.)

Louie - Roll…

(Roll smirks and gives the peace sign.)

Louie - Barrell…

(Barrell also waves.)

Louie - And Data!

(Data does his dance.)

Louie - And, on the right, the Bonnes! There's Tron…

(Tron looks sternly at the camera.)

Louie - Teasel!

(Teasel gives the camera the finger.)

Louie - Bon Bonne…

(Bon just looks at the camera.)

Louie - The Servbots…

(Three Servbots poke their heads over the top of the table.)

Louie - And Glyde!

Megaman - Hold it! How do they get one more person then us?

Glyde - 'Cause I'm too beautiful to not be here.

Louie - Uh oh. That's the all-too-familiar sound of a smart ass!

(Louie pushes the 'smart ass' button and Glyde falls into a hole in the floor.)

Louie - Better?

Megaman - Yeah.

Louie - Good. Now, as I was saying, with special guest star Metal Sonic EX…

(Metal Sonic EX, who's in the front row of the audience, waves and numerous fangirls scream.)

Louie - And… Pet?

Metal Sonic EX - Actually, that's my brother. And don't let him get to you.

Louie - What's so bad about…

(My brother, who I shall make a retard in this chapter, pokes his head out.)

Brother - Taco!

Louie - Oh…

Metal Sonic EX - Okay! How'd you get out of your cage!

(Metal Sonic EX turns around, some struggling is heard, then I finally succeed in slamming the cage shut.)

Metal Sonic EX - You just had to ask, didn't ya?

Louie - Sorry. Anyways, on to round one!

_Board:_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

Louie - First up is Megaman and Tron.

(They walk up to the podium, but don't shake hands. As Louie's about too ask why, Tron gives him a death glare. He backs off.)

Louie - Okay, first question: Name a Megaman character who walks funny, talks funny, looks funny, and just should not be.

(Megaman buzzes in.)

Megaman - I'd have to say Data.

Data - Hey!

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Data - 90_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

Data - HEY!

(Megaman and Tron go back to their seats and Louie walks over to Roll.)

Louie - Well?

Roll - Um… Data?

Data - Megaman already said that.

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Data - 90_

_---------- - --_

_Data - 3_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --­_

Data - That's not right!

Louie - Well, Barrell, how 'bout it?

Barrell - I'll agree and say Data.

Data - What!

Louie - Surveys says…

_Ding!_

_Data - 90_

_---------- - --_

_Data - 3_

_Data - 2_

_---------- - --_

Data - This ain't cool!

Louie - You're turn, Data.

(Metal Sonic EX chuckles.)

Data - Uh… Flame Hyenard?

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Data - 90_

_Flame Hyenard - 4_

_Data - 3_

_Data - 2_

_---------- - --_

Data - Whew!

Metal Sonic EX - But just for fun, let's change it to Data!

_Ding!_

_Data - 90_

_Data - 4_

_Data - 3_

_Data - 2_

_---------- - --_

Data - ARGH!

Louie - Back to you, Megaman.

Megaman - I still say Data.

Data - I hate you all…

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Data - 90_

_Data - 4_

_Data - 3_

_Data - 2_

_Data - 1_

Louie - Now that we're done screwing around, let's get down to…

Brother - Taco!

Metal Sonic EX - Okay, you know what? You've lost your food and water privileges! Do you want to lose your air privileges because you know after that it's gravity!

Brother - Eep! -goes back into cage-

Metal Sonic EX - That's better.

Louie - Right… One more time and he's out of here.

Metal Sonic EX - Deal!

_Board:_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

(Roll and Teasel walk up to the podium and shake hands.)

Louie - Next question: Name the greatest Megaman game thus far.

(Teasel buzzes in.)

Teasel - I'll say the original Megaman.

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_---------- - --_

_Megaman - MM_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

Data - -thinking- So far so good…

Louie - You've got one chance to guess the number one answer, Roll.

Roll - Um… Anything without Data?

Data - -still thinking- Going downhill…

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Anything Without Data - AWD_

_Megaman - MM_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

Data - Dammit!

Teasel - Go, Data.

(The two contestants take their seats and Louie walks over to Barrell.)

Louie - Have at it.

Barrell - I'll say Megaman X.

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Anything Without Data - AWD_

_Megaman - MM_

_Megaman X - MMX_

_---------- - --_

Louie - You're turn, Data.

Data - Screw off.

Louie - Survey says…

-X-

Louie - Back to Megaman.

Megaman - Megaman Legends.

Louie - Survey says…

-XX-

Louie - Sorry.

Megaman - Crap.

Louie - It's up to you Roll.

Roll - My favorite! Megaman 3!

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Anything Without Data - AWD_

_Megaman - MM_

_Megaman X - MMX_

_Megaman 3 - MM3_

Louie - So far so…

Brother - Taco!

Louie - That's it! Security!

(Several guards walk in and began carrying my brother away.)

Brother - Taco! Taco taco taco! The almighty taco will not have mercy on your souls!

Metal Sonic EX - Oh well… Onward!

Louie - Indeed!

_Board:_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

(Barrell and Bon Bonne walk up to the podium and shake hands.)

Louie - Next question: Name a useless Megaman weapon.

(Bon Bonne buzzes in.)

Bon - Babu babu!

Louie - Say what?

Metal Sonic EX - He said Shield Arm from Megaman Legends.

Louie - Oh. Survey says…

_Ding!_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_Shield Arm - 1_

Louie - How about you, Barrell?

Barrell - The hell if I know!

-X-

Louie - So sorry.

Barrell - Meh. I need my medicine anyways.

(The contestants go to their seats and Louie goes over to the Servbots.)

Louie - You're turn.

(The Servbots quickly huddle.)

Servbot 1 - We say Splash Mine from Megaman Legends. Yay taters!

Louie - Okay…

Brother - Tacos are better!

Louie - Wait! How'd he get back here! Security!

(More guards come in and carry my brother away.)

Louie - Finally. Now, survey says…

_Ding!_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_Splash Mine - 2_

_Shield Arm - 1_

Louie - Back to Tron.

Tron - Top Spin. It was absolutely useless. I mean, come on, Capcom! Spinning around in the air? Is that the best you've got!

Louie - I concur. Survey says…

_Ding!_

_---------- - --_

_Top Spin - 4_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_Splash Mine - 2_

_Shield Arm - 1_

Louie - Teasel?

(Instead of saying something, he gives Louie the finger.)

Louie - Survey says…

-X-

Louie - So sorry. You're up, Bon Bonne.

Bon - Babu babu!

Louie - Stop talking like a foreign person!

Metal Sonic EX - Two things. 1.) He's not foreign. And 2.) He said Aiming Laser from Megaman X4.

Louie - Oh… Survey says…

_Ding!_

_---------- - --_

_Top Spin - 4_

_Aiming Laser - 3_

_---------- - --_

_Splash Mine - 2_

_Shield Arm - 1_

Louie - Servbots?

Servbots - Guard Shell from X6. Yay tater salad!

Louie - Okay, get a life. Survey says…

_Ding!_

_---------- - --_

_Top Spin - 4_

_Aiming Laser - 3_

_Guard Shell - 2_

_Splash Mine - 2_

_Shield Arm - 1_

Louie - Back to Tron.

Tron - I say Dark Hold. Time attacks are stupid.

Louie - Survey says…

-XX-

Louie - Sorry. Teasel, any ideas?

(Again, Teasel gives Louie the finger.)

Louie - Okay, you've done that before, so well just give you the strike.

-XXX-

Louie - Over to Data.

Barrell - Why Data?

Louie - Because 1.) No one likes old people. And 2.) You started the round. So there.

Barrell - Oh…

Data - Hell! I dunno! Something involving me, perhaps!

Louie - Can we accept that?

(Everyone turns to the judge's panel. Instead of judges, Metal Sonic EX is sitting there with a hat on. I look in a book labeled 'Benevolence For Dummies', then I look up and give a thumbs-up.)

Louie - Great! Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Data Launcher - 88_

_Top Spin - 4_

_Aiming Laser - 3_

_Guard Shell - 2_

_Splash Mine - 2_

_Shield Arm - 1_

Data - Wait a sec! Does that weapon even exist?

Louie - I don't know.

(Louie then slowly turns his head to the audience and he gets a creepy/ disturbing look on his face. Metal Sonic EX coughs and Louie snaps out of it.)

Louie - Sorry 'bout that! To the final round!

_Board:_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

(Data and the Servbots walk up to the podium.)

Louie - Final question: Name a Megaman character who's most likely to go on a chainsaw massacre.

(The Servbots buzz in.)

Servbots - Data!

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Data - MML_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

(Everyone turns to Data and he quickly looks around before trying to hide a chainsaw behind his back.)

Louie - Okay…

(The contestant go back to their seats and Louie walks over to Tron.)

Louie - Well?

Tron - I'll say that Alouette girl who appeared in the last Family Feud parody.

Louie - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Data - MML_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_Alouette - MMZ_

Louie - You're turn, Teasel. But before you answer, if you give me the bird again, so help me God, I'll cut it off.

(Teasel thinks for a second.)

Teasel - Roll.

Louie - Survey says…

-X-

Teasel - What? Man… Why you…

(Teasel gives Louie the bird and manages to retract his finger before Louie chops it off with scissors.)

Louie - Watch your self, Bonne!

Teasel - Oh no… I'm so scared…

Louie - Stupid… Well?

Bon - Babu babu!

Metal Sonic EX - He said Sigma. Oh! And the animal tranquilizers aren't working.

Louie - Animal tranquilizers? For what?

Brother - Taco!

Metal Sonic EX - That.

(More guards come in and carry my brother off once more.)

Louie - I'm asking for a raise after this… Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Data - MML_

_---------- - --_

_Sigma - MMX_

_Alouette - MMZ_

Louie - Servbots, it's up to you.

Servbot 2 - I say Axl!

Louie - Why Axl?

Servbots - Look outside.

(Louie walks over to a conveniently-placed window and sees Axl attacking crash test dummies with a chainsaw.)

Louie - Ah… Oh well… Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Data - MML_

_Axl - MMX_

_Sigma - MMX_

_Alouette - MMZ_

Louie - We've got a problem here, folks. Both sides have won two rounds. We have no choice but to ask Metal Sonic EX what to do next.

(Metal Sonic EX walks onto the stage and begins pacing.)

Metal Sonic EX - I say that we'll have to use the forbidden…

(The camera zooms in on Metal Sonic EX's face.)

Metal Sonic EX - Coin toss!

(The camera returns to normal as several audience members scream in horror.)

Louie - Okay… Megaman, call it.

Megaman - I dunno… Heads.

(The coin is flipped.)

Louie - Heads it is!

Tron - So, what happens to us?

(Metal Sonic EX snaps his thumb and middle finger and they all fall into a hole in the ground.)

Louie - So, who's going into the Final Five?

Roll - We've decided for Megaman and Data to go.

Data - -sarcastically- Yay me…

(A few moments later, Megaman is on the stage and Data is backstage.)

Louie - Unlike the actual Family Feud, the Final Five here has no time limit. Take as long as you want, but hurry it up.

Megaman - Okay…

Louie - Ready?

Megaman - Yep.

Louie - Okay, here we go! Name an 'ugly' color.

Megaman - Brown.

Louie - Name a horribly named Robot Master.

Megaman - Fire Man.

Louie - Name a reason why Megaman 6 sucked so bad.

(Louie is slapped by Megaman.)

Louie - Sorry. Name a reason why Megaman 3 was so great.

Megaman - 'Cause Data wasn't in it.

Louie - Name something you sit on.

Megaman - Melon.

Louie - Okay… Name… Oh God.

Megaman - What?

Louie - Name a Mexican food.

Megaman - Um… Burrito!

Louie - Thank God. Now let's take a look. Name an 'ugly' color. You said brown. Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Brown - 16_

Louie - Name a horribly named Robot Master. You said Fire Man. Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Brown - 16_

_Fire Man - 31_

Louie - Name a reason why Megaman 3 was so great. You said 'cause Data wasn't in it. Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Brown - 16_

_Fire Man - 31_

'_Cause Data Wasn't In It - 66_

Louie- Number one answer! Imagine that. Anyways, name something you sit on. You said… Melon. Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Brown - 16_

_Fire Man - 31_

'_Cause Data Wasn't In It - 66_

_Melon - 65_

Louie - Wait a sec! How is melon the number one answer? I mean…

(Louie faces the audience and sees that everyone is sitting on a melon.)

Louie - Right… Whatever. Anyways, now the forbidden question: Name a Mexican food. Thankfully, you said burrito. Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Brown - 16_

_Fire Man - 31_

'_Cause Data Wasn't In It - 66_

_Melon - 65_

_Burrito - 21_

Louie - One point off… Bummer. Ah well. Data! You're turn!

(Megaman walks back to his row as Data walks in.)

Louie - Believe it or not, you need one point to win.

Data - Yay…

Louie - Ready?

Data - As ready as I'll ever be.

Louie - Okay, here we go! Name an 'ugly' color.

Data - Uh… Taco!

Louie - Okay… Name a horribly named Robot Master.

Data - Um… Taco!

Louie - Name a reason why Megaman 3 was so great.

Data - Oh… Taco!

Louie - You're trying to piss me off, aren't you?

Data - Perhaps…

Louie - Right… Name something you sit on.

Data - Taco!

Louie - Grrr… Name a Mexican food.

(My brother suddenly runs across the stage in a straitjacket as guards pursue him.)

Brother - Taco taco taco taco taco taco!

Louie - Damn psycho. Now, name a Mexican food.

Data - Um… Apple pie?

Louie - You've gotta be -bleeping- kidding me! Apple pie? Are you smoking crack or something? -sigh- Fine, fine. Okay, question one: Name an 'ugly' color. You said taco. Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Taco - 0_

Louie - No surprise there. The number one answer: orange. Next, name a horribly named Robot Master. You said taco. Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Taco - 0_

_Taco - 0_

Louie - Again, no surprise there. Number one answer: Cow Pie Man.

Data - Cow Pie Man? I don't remember any Cow Pie Man.

Louie - Neither do we.

(Louie gets that creepy smile again and he almost immediately shakes it off.)

Louie - Actually, he was made during Capcom's 'happy years' while they where eating Pixie Sticks and sniffing pudding powder.

Data - Okay…

Louie - Anyways, name a reason why Megaman 3 was so great. You said taco… Again… Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Taco - 0_

_Taco - 0_

_Taco - 0_

Louie - Number one answer, like I said before, was 'cause Data wasn't in it.

Data - I'm going to kill you all. I hope you know that.

Louie - Whatever. Anyways, name something you sit on. You said… Taco. Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Taco - 0_

_Taco - 0_

_Taco - 0_

_Taco - 0_

Louie - And finally, name a Mexican food. You said apple pie, you poor bastard. Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Taco - 0_

_Taco - 0_

_Taco - 0_

_Taco - 0_

_Apple Pie - 1_

Louie - Woah! What the hell? Who said apple pie?

(Metal Sonic EX waves.)

Metal Sonic EX - Apple pie's good.

Louie - Oh, for the love of…

Roll - What'd we win?

Metal Sonic EX - Actually, you don't win anything. You just don't get tortured by me. As for the losers, though…

(Metal Sonic EX snaps his fingers and a huge flame emerges from the hole that the Bonnes fell down.)

Louie - Right. I'm out of here. The hell with this job.

(Louie runs off as Metal Sonic EX begins laughing maniacally. For no reason what so ever, my brother pops up and goes, 'Taco!' and everyone begins beating him to a pulp.)

* * *

How'd you like this one? Anyways, the next chapter won't come for a while because, again, it's a parody of a movie I've never seen. But, I plan on making fun of it and I'll post that parody a lot sooner than it took me to post this one. Also, I have decided on a limit for this fanfic. The final chapter will by the ultimate parody featuring all four series. What it's going to be a parody of, I'm not sure. But Read and Review and I'll write some more! 


	14. Twilight Zone Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

I'm back! Anyways, in this chapter, I'm going to make fun of the Twilight Zone. It should be noted that the theme does still give me the creeps. Also, I was originally going to make a Hulk parody, but it took too long and the movie didn't seem to be that good. Anyways, here's my twelfth parody!

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Parody #12

A Parody of The Twilight Zone

By: The Zero series

* * *

(Zero, who is dressed in a tuxedo, walks up to the middle of a screen in an empty room.)

Zero - Greetings. The parody you are about to read has basically no ties to the actual show. Also, the theme song scares the crap out of me. It's just… creepy. Anyways, let's get to it.

(Zero places earmuffs on and walks away as the theme song is played. The new setting is a library where Harpuia is reading, Leviathan is flirting with Zero, Ciel is trying to make her way towards Leviathan with a flame-thrower, Phantom trying to stop her, and Fefnir working out. Yeah, it's kinda weird walking into a library and finding someone working out, isn't it.)

Phantom - Please, just calm down.

Ciel - I am calm!

Phantom - Stop yelling then.

Ciel - I'm not yelling.

Phantom - YES, YOU ARE!

Librarian - Be quiet!

Phantom - Sorry.

Ciel - I've got business to take care of. Move it or suffer the consequences.

Phantom - Ha! Do your…

(Ciel uses the flame-thrower to set Phantom on fire. He begins screaming while running around the library like a chicken with it's head cut off.)

Librarian - I said be quiet!

(The librarian throws a ruler at Phantom and it goes through his head, killing him instantly.)

Zero - Man, it must suck to be him.

Leviathan - So, what else is new?

(Fefnir starts does sit-ups and he spots an odd-looking book. The narrator, Alouette, begins speaking.)

Alouette - Little did Fefnir know that two things were about to happen. He would stumble upon a book featuring the most vile fiends, spells, and Bill Gates autobiography. The second thing was that his pants were about to be filled in with brown concrete.

Fefnir - Aw, man! I crapped my pants!

Leviathan - Ha ha!

Fefnir - Hey, look. I found a book.

Zero - Congratulations, halfwit. There's about a thousand of them here.

Fefnir - -opens book- I'm serious. Look! This is full of evil crap.

(Everyone gazes inside and reads a few lines.)

Harpuia - Of course it's evil. It's Bill Gates autobiography. That guy's, like, spewing evil.

Zero - I concur.

Fefnir - Whatever. I'm getting it.

Leviathan - There is a curse on that you know.

Fefnir - Really?

Leviathan - Yes, now shut up. According to legend, Bill Gates cursed all of his Macintosh computers, but he wasn't pleased. So, he cursed his autobiography. There are supposed to be seven events that take place after purchase, rental, or disposal.

Harpuia - So?

Leviathan - Three words: Don't borrow it.

Fefnir - Two words: You're crazy.

Zero - One word: Shut the hell up and borrow already!

Harpuia - Uh… Zero?

Zero - I know!

(After borrowing the book, the guardians return to Neo Arcadia.)

Fefnir - Not that I'm scared, but what was this first event?

Leviathan - Basically, someone returns from the dead only to suffer many more fates.

(Phantom enters the room.)

Phantom - Howdy!

(A lance appears and nails him to the wall. The process of Phantom reappearing and lances nailing him to the wall continues until the entire wall is covered in Phantoms.)

Fefnir - Okay. Second event?

Leviathan - A hero in red shall go crazy and perish.

Fefnir - Aw, man.

Leviathan - What?

Fefnir - I want to be blue.

Alouette - The next morning…

(Fefnir is staring wide-eyed at the book and his eye is twitching. Leviathan runs into the room and slams the door closed.)

Leviathan - What's with you?

Fefnir - It moved…

Harpuia - -breaks into the room- What part of 'I have a hangover!' don't you understand?

(Harpuia, who isn't wearing his helmet, has a purplish robe and squeaky bunny slippers on, and a newspaper in his hand, looks at Leviathan in a demented and creepy way.)

Harpuia - You… Shall… Die… Slowly…

(Suddenly, Blazin' Flizzard breaks in through the wall.)

Flizzard - Howdy!

Harpuia - Play dead!

(Harpuia nails Flizzard to the wall with his saber.)

Harpuia - Stay dead!

(Before Harpuia can throw his other saber, Flizzard screams and blows his brains out. Harpuia shrugs and turns to find Leviathan is absent.)

Harpuia - Son of a…

Fefnir - Biscuit!

Harpuia - You're next.

(Leviathan, who is the air ducts, sits and thinks.)

Leviathan - Let's see. Third event… Ah, yes! A disaster will destroy a heroic being.

Alouette - Elsewhere, at the Resistance hideout…

Ciel - Dammit! The brownies have been burnt to a crisp!

Zero - NNNNNOOOOO!

Alouette - Back at Neo Arcadia…

Fefnir - Did you hear that?

Harpuia - Yeah. Some poor bastard just burnt his brownies. Come on!

(Leviathan continues to move through the air vents until she ends up falling through them.)

Leviathan - Aw, jeez. My neck.

Harpuia - Allow me to take your mind off of your back.

Leviathan - -talking speedily- Ah! Forth event! A male with begin acting female and vice versa! Don't kill me!

(Suddenly, Zero and Harpuia get odd looks in their face.)

Fefnir - Uh… Harpuia?

Harpuia - Come again?

Leviathan - Why do you sound like Zero?

Harpuia - Hello! I **am** Zero!

Fefnir - Oh, crap.

Harpuia - What?

Alouette - In the Resistance…

Zero - WHERE IS SHE! I'LL CUT HER TO RIBBONS! LEVIATHAN! I'LL HAVE YOUR HEAD ON A SILVER PLATTER!

Alouette - Back at Neo Arcadia…

Harpuia - -looking down his shirt- Holy shit.

Fefnir - My sentiments exactly.

Alouette - Later.

(Zero, Ciel, Harpuia, Leviathan, and Fefnir are at a large table.)

Zero - You're going to get it, Leviathan. How do you know these events before they happen?

Leviathan - Don't ask me. I'm coming up with random crap.

Zero - Yeah, right.

Leviathan - Fine! Fifth event. Um… A desceased shall return and someone else shall perish.

(Phantom walks in.)

Phantom - Howdy!

(Phantom quickly goes through a bunch of jumps, flips, and rolls, then he looks around nervously. Zero, who's switched bodies with Harpuia, gets a look in his eye and blows up. Suddenly, he reappears.)

Harpuia - Man! Don't do that! It took me forever to find those lives!

Zero - Nya nya! -stabs himself, then reappears-

Harpuia - A pox on you!

Zero - Wait! Leviathan said that a boy and girl would switch places.

(Harpuia and Zero spin to look at each other. Then, they suddenly thrust a finger at one another and yell in unison.)

Zero/ Harpuia - You're the girl!

Zero - I'm quite manly, thank you!

Harpuia - Bull crap! Ever since you appeared in Megaman Zero, no one except Capcom could figure out if you're boy or girl!

Zero - Yeah! Well, people thought that you're a girl in Megaman X1!

Harpuia - You bastard!

Zero - Bring it.

(The two are about to fight when Leviathan stops them.)

Leviathan - Wait! There's one simple way to solve this.

(Leviathan walks up to Zero and looks down his shirt. She walks over to Harpuia and does the same thing. Then, she returns to her seat.)

Leviathan - Just as I thought.

Zero - Well?

Leviathan - -smirks- You're both guys.

Zero/ Harpuia - WHAT!

Leviathan - You didn't let me finish.

Harpuia - Sorry.

Leviathan - You're both guys that people sometimes mistake for women.

Zero - Huh? They do?

Harpuia - Yes. And a pox on them all!

Leviathan - -sighs- Sixth event. Two beings will take up their old forms and a green fellow will fall deathly ill with mad cow disease.

(Zero and Harpuia get that look again, then everyone stands still.)

Phantom - Who remembers that I'm here?

Ciel - I do.

Harpuia - I do.

Leviathan - I do.

Zero - I do.

Fefnir - I do.

(That green mantis from Megaman Zero 2 walks in. Also, I don't know his name.)

Mantis - Taters?

Leviathan - Poop. I was hoping for…

Harpuia - I know.

Fefnir - So, what's the final event?

Leviathan - It's the most horrendous of all events.

Zero - And that would be?

(Bill Gates walks in holding brownies.)

Bill Gates - Hi! I'm…

Everyone Else - RUN AWAY!

(Everyone except Phantom runs away.)

Phantom - Guys?

Bill Gates - Have a brownie.

Phantom - Um… Thank you.

(As Phantom reaches for one, Bill Gates yells out, "MINE!" and implants a butcher knife into Phantom's head.)

Bill Gates - All your brownies belong to me.

(The scene fades out and returns to the empty room when Zero runs back up.)

Zero - Oh yeah! Almost forgot! You are about to enter…

(The camera zooms up to Zero's face.)

Zero - …The Nightlight Zone.

Fefnir - -from off stage- Parody's over, dumbass!

Zero - I'm going to kill him. I swear it.

* * *

Well? in the next parody, I make fun of one of the world's greatest (if not, **the** greatest) sci-fi movie ever created. Tune in next time 'cause I'm not going to burn that movie. Oh no. I'm gonna deep-fry it! Oh yeah, Read and Review please. 


	15. The Matrix Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

What's a parody show without a parody of one of America's most beloved sci-fi motion pictures? Nothing, that's what. By the way, the X series is in this parody and it's going to be filled with guffaws, snickers, giggles, and just downright explosive laughter. So, here it is. My parody of… The Matrix!

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Parody #13

A Parody of The Matrix

By: The X series

* * *

(As the parody starts, the camera remains black and a conversation is heard.)

Female Voice - Is everything in place?

Male Voice - You weren't supposed to relieve me.

Female Voice - I know, but I felt like taking a shit.

(Stuff happens and the camera now shows iris sitting in a chair with a bunch of police officers behind her. A one slowly walks towards her, she whips around, jumps into the air, and kicks the guy's head off.)

Police Officer Who Wanted To Become A Doughnut Salesman - I knew that I should've been a doughnut salesman.

(Once leaving the room, she looks down the hall and sees Sigma dressed in a tuxedo and sunglasses worthy of a _Men In Black_ movie appearance. Iris starts running and Sigma takes off after her.)

Sigma - You can't run forever! You have to pay your phone bill sometime!

(On the rooftops, Iris makes a literal leap of faith across a street and to another rooftop. However, she smashes into a Starbucks billboard. Then, she does a backflip and lands on the roof.)

Iris - Those things are everywhere!

(As Sigma begins shooting at Iris, she jumps into the air and holds her hands in front of her like Superman. She smashes through a door, a bathroom with an old lady in the shower, a kitchen, and another door before falling down the stairs. After the scene changes, Zero wakes up to find his computer making odd messages. They read: 'Go to Starbucks! BBQ ribs now only $3.45! Oh yeah, one more thing: GET YOUR ASS UP!')

Zero - Talk about creepy.

(More messages pop up until one reads: 'Follow the crazy ass white guy named Jimmy Bob Crackle.')

Zero - Jimmy Bob Crackle?

(After answering his door and finding a bunch of people there, he asks the leader something.)

Zero - Have you ever had the feeling where you're not sure if you're awake or still dreaming?

Person - Yeah. All the time. It's called retarded.

Zero - Thanks for the support.

(As the girl turns a little bit, Zero notices a tattoo that reads: 'Look behind you.' Zero does so to find a hillbilly with a shotgun standing in his apartment with his face in Zero's.)

Person - HI! I'M JIMMY BOB CRACKLE!

Zero - Holy shit!

(Zero runs out of the apartment, closing the door behind him. After running into a night club, Iris walks up and starts conversing.)

Iris - I know why you're here. I know because I was looking for him once too.

Zero - You were looking for Mickey Mouse too!

(The conversation continues.)

Iris - You know the question just as I did.

Zero - Let me guess. Do you know… the muffin man?

Iris - The muffin man?

Zero - THE MUFFIN MAN!

(A.N. Warning! The following material may offend someone or, in other terms, kill them due to laughter. Let's hope for the second one.)

(The next morning, Zero goes to work and begins conversing with his boss.)

Boss - This is one of the top bran muffin companies in the world because employees understand that they are a part of a hole. Thus, if an employee has a bowel movement, the company has a bowel movement. The time has come to make a choice, Mr. Omega. Either you decide to be on the toilet on time from this day forth or you can find another job! Do I make myself clear?

Zero - Yes sir.

Boss - Good. Now go fetch me some toilet paper. I'm almost done.

(A.N. Let's see… One… Two… Three whole casualties! Alright!)

(Zero returns to his cubicle and is soon delivered a cell phone via FedEx. The phone rings and Signas is one the other line.)

Signas - They're coming for you.

Zero - Who?

Signas - Look over your cubicle. Move slowly.

(Zero does so and he sees Jimmy Bob Crackle with some hillbilly friends looking around. Zero quickly ducks down.)

Zero - -yelling softly- Oh shit!

(After being captured, Zero is interrogated.)

Sigma Agent - It appears that you live two lives, Mr. Omega. In one life, you are Mr. Zero Omega, executive for a respectable bran muffin company. You have a social security number, you pay your taxes…

(A brief pause follows.)

Sigma Agent - And you even helped your landlady dispose the body of her murdered husband.

(After waking from his nightmare, Zero receives a phone call from Signas.)

Signas - Do you still want to meet me?

Zero - Yes.

Signas - Then go to the corner of Fifth and Madison and ask for a guy named… Pedro.

(After being picked up by Iris, Alia, and Axl, Zero is offered to leave and he opens the door. Iris stops him.)

Iris - Trust me. You don't want to go down that road. You know where it leads and you don't want to be there.

(In the distance, the group can see the blinking neon sign of Starbucks. After arriving at their destination, Zero meets Signas.)

Signas - At last. As you've probably guessed, I am Morpheus. Please, come. Sit.

(Zero does so and a loud farting noise is heard. Signas and Iris both try to compress their laughter as Zero pulls a pink cushion out from under his butt.)

Zero - A whoopee cushion. Har har.

(The conversation continues.)

Signas - You know something's wrong but you don't know what. Like a foot in your ass, driving you crazy.

Zero - Okay…

(As the conversation comes to a close, it deepens.)

Signas - This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. -opens left hand- You take the blue pill, the story ends; you wake up in your bed and believe what you wish. -opens right hand- You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland and I show you how big your cornhole can be.

(A.N. Remember the word 'cornhole'! I'll be using it a lot more in later parodies.)

(After taking the red pill, Zero is transported to the 'real world'. Zero looks around and climatic music plays as it shows that their are endless towers covered in Starbucks.)

Zero - Holy hell. I'm in hell.

(After a bunch of interesting, yet boring crap happens, Zero is placed on a table and is injected with many needles.)

Zero - Where am I?

Signas - You're in the real world.

Zero - It's more like an acupuncture salon.

(One night and an extremely long explanation later, Signas concludes his narrative.)

Signas - The Matrix is a computer-generated dream world to keep us under control. In order to change a human being into this…

(Signas holds up a danish and Zero raises an eyebrow. Signas then realizes his mistake and lifts up a battery as he pops the danish into his mouth. Another night comes and goes and, after learning many styles of martial arts, Zero begins sparring with Signas. During the fight, Zero is knocked down and rolls away just as Signas' foot comes crashing down where his genitals were.)

Signas - Consider yourself lucky.

(After Zero wins the second sparring, some random person loads a 'jump' program. They are standing on top of a huge skyscraper and the nearest one is about a thousand feet away.)

Signas - Let go of your fear.

(Signas takes off and jumps. However, he falls short and begins plummeting. For no reason whatsoever, Signas pops up back at Zero's side.)

Signas - I swear, I did that better last time.

(After making the second jump, Zero makes his leap of faith. However, he looks down and sees giant letters on the ground that spells: 'You're screwed'. After more really interesting, yet boring crap happens, Zero begins talking to Ground Scaravich.)

Scaravich - I created the jump program.

Zero - Really?

Scaravich - What do you think of my 'you're screwed' sign? I made it for newbies.

(After entering another program, Zero and Co. drive down a street.)

Zero - God!

Iris - What?

Zero - I used to eat there. Their haggis was…

(Zero doesn't finish, but instead, does the kissing motion that Italian chefs like to do.)

Zero - Fresh from the sheep.

Iris - Thank you. I will now hurl all of my innards out.

(After arriving at their destination, Zero enters a room where Sting Chameleon is standing by an oven. Don't ask why he's the Oracle, he just is.)

Chameleon - Do you know what that means?

(Zero turns around a sees a plaque above the doorway.)

Chameleon - It means 'bend over and kiss thine ass for thou is screwed'.

(Zero raises an eyebrow.)

Chameleon - Just kidding. It means 'Thou who smelt it, mostly surely has dealt it'.

Zero - Right…

(Before leaving, Chameleon holds up a tray of cookies.)

Chameleon - Take a heroin-laced cookie. I guarantee that by the time you're done eating it, you'll feel like a sledgehammer just made off with your goods.

(Zero reluctantly takes one and looks at his crotch as he leaves. A bunch of crap happens and the good guys find themselves inside a small pipe. Someone coughs and a nearby police officer yells, "They're in the toilet!' After attacking Sigma through the wall, Signas asks Sigma a question.)

Signas - Who are you?

Sigma Agent - I am Momma. Yo Momma.

(After being betrayed by Dr. Wily (He had a cameo in X4 and X5), Zero and Iris watch in horror as Wily goes to 'unplug' Axl.)

Wily - Any last words?

Axl - Why… Yes… Yes I do… MADIA HEEEE, MADIA HOOOOO, MADIA HAAAAA, MADIA HA HA! (The opening to the infamous Numa Numa song)

Zero - OH GOD! JUST KILL HIM NOW! PLEASE!

(After Zero prevents Signas from being 'unplugged', he explains why he's going back into the Matrix.)

Zero - I now know that I must go.

Iris - Why?

Zero - Because I believe in something.

Iris - What?

Zero - Santa Claus.

(Once Zero enters a blank program with Iris, his operator asks him something.)

Operator - Ya need something?

Zero - Yes. Furbys. Lots of Furbys.

(Endless rows of Furbys rush up to the two.)

Iris - No one's ever tried this before.

Zero - That's why it's going to work.

(Zero picks up a Furby and acts like he's cocking it. Because of this, it goes, 'Me love you.' Both Zero and Iris shudder after this. Once Zero enters the agent's base, he sets off the metal detector.)

Security Guard - Sir…

Zero - I'm a robot. What do you expect?

Security Guard - Sir, this computer ignores that fact and scans any other metallic objects you may have on you.

Zero - Oh…

Security Guard - Now, I'd like you to remove any metal you may have. Like keys, loose change…

(Zero opens his trenchcoat to reveal that he doesn't have any clothes on and guns are duct-taped to his body.)

Security Guard - Holy shit!

Zero - I know. -smirks-

(As the gun battle starts, Zero begins ripping the guns off of his body.)

Zero - -RIP- Ow! -RIP- OW! - RIP- Dammit! -RIP- MCNUGGETS!

(There are four pillars with three spaces on either side of the room. Zero begins running from the first as people shoot at him. Things begin moving in slow-motion as Zero rolls behind the pillar and returns into view with no clothes on. He dives behind the third pillar and he has clothes on when he emerges this time. Time moves at it's normal pace. Soon, Zero is on the roof with Iris and a Sigma agent.)

(A.N. Prepare yourself for I am about to make fun of one of the world's greatest movie scenes!)

(Things move in slow-motion again as Sigma shoots at Zero and he does the infamous bullet dodge scene. Zero dodges all of the bullets except for the last one which nails him between the legs. Iris winces as he falls to the ground.)

Zero - AH! DUDE! THAT'S NOT RIGHT! I NEED THOSE!

(A.N. Hehehe…)

(After killing two of the three Sigma agents in the room with Signas and killing the one on the roof, Signas roars as he farts and the top three floors of the building explode. Oh yeah! His handcuffs break too. Some more crap happens and Zero is now in a subway with a Sigma agent. They just stand there until a newspaper flies by and Sigma gets excited.)

Sigma Agent - OOH! Farmer jack's has a two for three sale on chickens! The hell with this!

(Sigma runs off only to return moments later looking sad.)

Zero - What's wrong?

Sigma - According to the producer… -sniff- That paper was from three years ago.

(After the brief gun battle, Zero goes through an elaborate series of flips to get up. Sigma just stands up normally, scratches his butt, and belches.)

Sigma Agent - Man, those burritos are coming back on me.)

(After beating Zero, Sigma notices something on the ground.)

Sigma - A toupee! Yah! -places it on head-

(Zero gets up, raises his fists in the air, and farts, blowing Sigma's toupee off.)

Sigma Agent - My toupee! NO!

(Some more crap happens and Zero stands up after being supposedly killed. Sigma fires numerous bullets at him. Zero holds up his hand, but they all go through him.)

Zero - That's it! You're gonna get it now! That hurt like a mother!

(In the real world, instead of Sentinels trying to get into the ship, clones of Bill Gates, one of which is dressed like the Burger King king, get inside the ship. Signas pushes a red button and the clones die as the words, 'Me love you.' are heard. After a phone that has seemingly lasted the whole movie, Zero places sunglasses on that look like they belong to Elton John.)

Random Onlooker - Freaking loser!

(Zero quickly runs over and stabs him to death, then takes off into the air with a continuous farting sound and a long trail of greenish gas coming out from behind him. However, in mid-flight, Zero goes through a jet engine and is turned into sushi.)

* * *

How 'bout that? I like that one, I really do. Anyways, I continue making fun of famous movies by making fun of _Rocky_ in the next chapter. So, Read and Review and I'll continue. 


	16. Rocky Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

I'm BACK! After much trouble finding a copy of it (I'm not really one to rent movies from Blockbuster or what not), I finally managed to watch Rocky, thus creating this. Enjoy my very well-planned parody of Rocky!

* * *

Parody #14

A Parody of Rocky

By: The Classic series

* * *

(The parody starts in the middle of a boxing fight. There are two fighters: Flash Man and Hard Man. For whatever reason, they continue exchanging punches.)

Bell - DING DING DING!

Flash Man - You fight like a pansy!

Hard Man - I AM A PANSY!

Flash Man - Um… If you say so…

(When the next round starts, Flash Man circles Hard Man as he is continuously slapped. Suddenly, after being head-butted by Hard Man, odd music starts playing and Flash Man gets an odd look in his eye. Then, he does like the Undertaker and proceeds to choke-slam him.)

Flash Man - YOU CRACKED MY FLASHBULB!

(Once he's declared the winner and he exits the ring, he walks up to Frost Man.)

Flash Man - Gotta a cigarette?

Frost Man - -holds up Wood Man- You can have this one.

Wood Man - Help me…

(In the locker room, Dr. Light walks up to Flash Man (who's playing Rocky) and begins to pay him.)

Dr. Light - Here's forty, fifty, five, seventeen, eleven, a thousand, two, fifty million and a half pesos. -hands Flash Man three pesos-

Flash Man - -to random guy- He never learned to count, did he?

(Later, as Flash Man is walking down the street, he stops by a pet store window, whistles, and a St. Bernard jumps through the window and attacks him.)

Flash Man - OH MY GOD! I'M GONNA DIE!

(After escaping the clutches of the evil dog, Flash Man continues walking down the sidewalk. As he turns the corner, the MM4 Robot Masters as standing around a burning Wood Man.)

Ring Man - Ready? Hit it!

(Toad Man turns a boombox on and the eight robots began singing along to 'I Like Big Butts')

Flash Man - Moving away. Just walking. Walking. Jogging. Just jogging. Okay, running. Run… Sprinting! Sprinting!

Ring Man - You're just standing there you know.

Flash Man - What do ya know? I am! -pushes Toad Man into fire.-

Toad Man - HELP ME!

(As Flash Man walks away, the MM4 robots shrug and continue singing. Once Flash Man enters his crappy apartment and turns on the lights, he walks over to a tank with miniature Wily clones in it.)

Flash Man - Hey guys! You want some food? Here ya go!

(Flash Man pulls out a 30-pound hunk of steak and drops it on the tank, crushing it. Afterwards, he walks over to a 500-pound statue of a white whale.)

Flash Man - You want to see Moby Dick? Here ya go!

(He throws the statue on top of it and it breaks the floor and crushes an old lady. After this, he walks over and stares at a picture of Bill Gates before walking to the fridge and pulling out Blizzard Man's head, which is labeled 'ice'. Then, he walks to his bed and puts it on his head. The next morning, Flash Man enters the pet store.)

Flash Man - Hey howdy! I'm looking for… Oh crap!

(Everyone nearby looks at a nearby sign that says 'Have you seen this St. Bernard?' Flash Man shakes it off and grabs a small container of 'Wily food'. He looks inside and sees little Megaman-shaped pellets inside. Upon purchasing the food, Roll walks into the other room where she promptly begins to take pictures of his butt.)

Flash Man - I've got a sudden feeling of deja vu… Oh well!

(In the construction yard, Flash Man walks down path while swinging a sword. He suddenly loses his grip and the sword stabs Crash Man. Protoman walks up, sees this, and looks up as a chorus of 'Hallelujah!' is heard. Then, he throws his hands in the air and runs into the street where he's hit by an old lady.)

Flash Man - Something tells me that this is my fault…

(Flash Man suddenly sees Charge Man on a lawnmower. He grabs a stick and begins to chase him. Unbeknownst to Flash Man, his 'stick' is actually Bomb Man's leg. He hits Charge Man in the head, knocking him off. The lawnmower continues driving forward until it hits a wall of boxes. The lawnmower explodes inexplicably.)

Flash Man - Watch out. It's overly-dramatic scenes, come back to haunt you.

(Flash Man helps Charge Man to his feet and looks at him.)

Flash Man - So… You got my beans? A man can't live without his beans.

(After gaining his beans, Flash Man walks down the sidewalk while absentmindedly tossing the can into the air. Then, the Wienermobile pulls up and he gets in.)

Flash Man - Oh, I want to be an Oscar Meyer…

Bubble Man - Save it or I'll cap ya!

Flash Man - Sorry…

(After some driving, Flash Man and Bubble Man get out and converse.)

Bubble Man - So, why didn't you shove a pineapple up his butt like I told you to?

(After the conversation ends, Tengu Man rolls down the window and gives Flash Man the finger.)

Tengu Man - Catch you on the flip side, biotch! -drives off-

Flash Man - I SHOULD'VE SHOVED A PINEAPPLE UP YOUR BUTT!"

(In the gym, Skull Man jumps rope while singing 'I'm a little princess dressed in blue'. Elsewhere, Flash Man tries getting into his locker, but fails. After a few seconds of trying, he gets angry, picks up Yamato Man, and smashes him into the locker. As he goes to storm off, Aqua Man walks up.)

Flash Man - Where is he?

Aqua Man - You don't want to mess with him. He's taking a dump.

Flash Man - So am I.

Aqua Man - What!

Flash Man - You heard me.

(As Flash Man storms off, Aqua Man slowly backs up. At the restrooms, Flash Man locates Ice Man's stall.)

Flash Man - How are you today?

Ice Man - Great! This is the first dump I've had in seven years!

Flash Man - That's nice.

Ice Man - And I don't remember eating this much corn!

Flash Man - I don't need to know that.

Ice Man - Look at it! It's beautiful! I'm gonna frame it!

Flash Man - And I'm going to throw up.

(After flushing and leaving the restrooms, the two begin to converse.)

Ice Man - Look at yourself! You fight like a flibbity-gibbity ape! With no arms! And three buttcheeks!

(A.N. It should be known that Kinetikai helped me a lot with these gags and that 'flibbity-gibbity' is a quotation that he'll probably use again, but not me.)

(After leaving the gym, Flash Man walks down the sidewalk and, for no reason, he shoves a pineapple up some random guy's butt. Flash Man then enters the pet store and strikes up a conversation with Roll. She turns for a second only to look back around and notice that Flash Man is gone. She also notices that the birds wave been replaced with KFC Extra Crispy chicken legs.)

Roll - Not again… Dammit, Flash Man!

(In some other building, Flash Man passes Fire Man, who is playing billiards. As Flash Man leaves the room, Fire Man hits the cue ball too hard and it hits Aqua Man in the head, knocking him out. After a brief argument with Megaman (who plays Paulie), he begins insulting Roll.")

Megaman - Roll's a loser! Roll's a knucklehead! Roll owes my five bucks!

(After entering a pub, Flash Man and a random bartender (who's oddly named Random Bartender) converse until Clown Man appears on the TV.)

Clown Man - Hey kids! Stay in school! Don't do drugs! Look both ways before crossing the street! Don't eat the mystery meat! Don't eat the yellow snow! Don't sniff the brown stuff! Always wear sandals! And don't tryst Whitey!"

(Random Bartender and Flash Man resume conversation.)

Flash Man - Look at him! He's a freaking clown!

Random Bartender - You callin' Clown Man a clown?

Flash Man - No, I'm calling him a purple-haired umbrella salesman. Of course I'm calling him a clown!

(Clown Man continues talking.)

Clown Man - Be smarter, not a farter!

Reporter - Thanks for the advice, chump.

Clown Man - What?

Reporter - I said champ.

(Moments afterwards, Flash Man puts a pineapple on the bar top and gets up to go.)

Flash Man - Put that up your business hole.

Random Bartender - Maybe I will!

(Random Bartender throws his hands in the air as Flash Man leaves.)

Random Bartender - Fine! You want me to take a shot? I'll take a shot!

(Random Bartender holds a gun to his head and blows his brains out.)

Random Bartender - Didn't feel a thing!

(After leaving the bar, Flash Man walks by a crowd.)

Random Guy - Hey, Rocky! Want a bottle?

Flash Man - Okay.

(Flash Man takes a drink and spits it in the group leader's face.)

Flash Man - What is this? This is a '68 Pinot Noir! I only drink '57 Chardonnay, you piece of crap!

(Flash Man breaks the bottle over the leader's head.)

Flash Man - I bid you good day!

(After taking Kalinka (MM4) from the group for no reason, a conversation breaks out.)

Flash Man - Stop smoking! It'll make your teeth yellow!

Kalinka - I like yellow teeth.

Flash Man - It'll make your breath smell like garbage.

Kalinka - Maybe I like garbage.

Flash Man - Well, let's find out.

(Flash Man picks her up, throws her in a dumpster, and continues on his way. After climbing out, Kalinka soon rejoins him.)

Kalinka - I'm gonna have to use a dirty word.

Flash Man - What?

Kalinka - Turnip.

Flash Man - That's not a dirty word.

Kalinka - It is if you sit on one.

(Kalinka and Flash Man continue to talk as they walk through a parking lot.)

Flash Man - You don't want to hang out with those guys. They're coconuts. You hear me? They're lemons!

(Some random bum walks out of the alley.)

Random Bum - Hey, man! Don't dis the fruit!

(The conversation continues.)

Flash Man - You hang out with nice people, you get nice friends. You hang out with crappy people, you get Pharaoh Man as a friend. You want that?

Kalinka - OH GOD NO!

Pharaoh Man - -walks in- Hey! That ain't cool, man!

(Some time later, some random executives argue about who Clown Man shall face next.)

Random Executive - I've hosted every damn fight in every damn country of this damn world! But I'm busting my damn ass over this one! What do you want me to do, dammit?

Clown Man - I want you to clean your mouth out with soap, bitch!

(Clown Man starts as he thinks of something.)

Clown Man - I'll tell you what I'll do. On Jan. 1, I'll give a snow-white underdog a chance to fight me. Why? 'Cause I'm diabetic!

Random Executive - You can't do that!

Clown Man - Why not?

Random Executive - Because on Jan. I, you've got your monthly bikini wax.

Clown Man - Aw, Man! Last time, I had to ice my crotch for a week!

(After Clown Man cancels his bikini wax, the head executive laughs.)

Head Executive - Apollo, I like that! It's very American!

Clown Man - No, it's very Canadian! Blame Canada! For all that hockey hullabaloo! And that bitch Anne Murray too!

(Later, Flash Man, Bubble Man, and Tengu Man all converse about Roll.)

Bubble Man - I hear that she's retarded.

Flash Man - She's not… Wait… Yeah, she's retarded.

Bubble Man - Take her to the zoo. I hear retards like the zoo.

(Ring Man pops out of the backseat.)

Ring Man - Are we going to the zoo?

(Bubble Man gives Flash Man fifty bucks.)

Bubble Man - Here's fifty bucks. You and the retard have fun. Buy her some cotton candy.

Ring Man - Yay! Cotton candy!

Bubble Man - You don't get any!

(In Clown Man's office, a female secretary walks up to Clown Man with a cup of coffee.)

Secretary - Would you like some more coffee, Mr. Clown?

Clown Man - No thanks, Sherman.

Secretary - It's Shirley.

Clown Man - Okay. Whatever, Billy.

(Later, Clown Man and executives look for Clown Man's next 'victim'.)

Clown Man - This is what I'm looking for! The Canadian Maiden!

Executive - Shouldn't you face a man?

Clown Man - Good point. How about the Italian Stallion?

Executive - Antonio Banderas?

Clown Man - No. That's the guy who plays Zorro.

Executive - Oh, right! Right!

(Clown Man starts talking about his choice.)

Clown Man - It's all about the name. The Italian Stallion. The media will eat it up like waffles and I like my waffles. Mmmm… Waffles… Now, who discovered America? A Canadian! What's the next best thing? An Italian!

(Clown Man pictures the fight billboard.)

Clown Man - I can see it now: Apollo Creed vs. Godzilla. Sounds like a damn monster movie.

Executive - You're fighting the Italian Stallion.

Clown Man - Really? Is he Canadian?

Executive - No, sir.

(Elsewhere, Flash Man walks down the street where several kids are playing stickball.)

Flash Man - Hey! What are you doing with that bat?

Random Kid - I'm beating up little Jimmy!

Flash Man - Well, you're doing it all wrong. It's like this! -begins beating Jimmy-

(Later, Flash Man talks to Megaman.)

Flash Man - Is she excited?

Megaman - She's very excited. Look at my swollen testicles.

(Flash Man and Megaman walk into Roll's house as she steps into the hallway holding a pot. She sees them, flips them off, and walks back into the kitchen. After an argument breaks out, Megaman opens the oven, grabs the turkey, walks to the backdoor, and opens it.)

Megaman - Ya want the turkey?

(He throws the turkey outside and it is snatched out of midair by the St. Bernard who runs off into a landmine.)

Megaman - Oh shit. Well, I'll go get another one. Damn turkey-snatching dog.

(After Roll runs into her room, Flash Man talks through the door and tries cheering her up.)

Flash Man - Yo, Roll. It's me, Flash Man. Again. Uh, listen…

(Flash Man pauses and sniffs the air.)

Flash Man - Did you fart?

(Outside, Flash Man and Roll talk.)

Roll - It's Thanksgiving, you know.

Flash Man - To you, it's Thanksgiving. To me, it's National Cheesy Poof Day.

(After taking Roll to an ice arena, Roll starts skating.)

Roll - Aren't you skating?

Flash Man - No. I haven't skated since I was 15, which is when I started tap-dancing.

(As Roll skates, Flash Man dislocates his knee. She starts freaking out when he holds his hands up.)

Flash Man - No! No! It's an old wound. See?

(Flash Man snaps off his leg.)

Flash Man - Oh. I guess it doesn't bend like that.

(Later, Flash Man tries getting Roll into his apartment.)

Flash Man - Wanna come in?

Roll - I've gotta go.

Flash Man - I've gotta go too. Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now! Now come on in and we can go together.

(Once inside, Roll asks if Flash Man has a phone.)

Flash Man - If you want me to call someone, I will. -sticks head out of window- Ricola!

(Minutes later, Flash Man corners Roll.)

Flash Man - Do me a another favor. Take off your hat.

(Flash Man takes the hat off to reveal a purple Mohawk.)

Flash Man - SWEET JESUS JUJU BEANS!

(Flash Man shoves the hat back on as Roll smiles wearily. Seconds later, they begin talking again.)

Flash Man - I ain't teasing ya. I just wanna frisk ya.

Roll - What?

Flash Man - Kiss ya. I meant kiss ya.

(After kissing Roll, Flash Man looks up and smiles.)

Flash Man - I like being in the corner. How 'bout you?

Roll - Your breath smells like cabbage and poo gas.

(The next day, Ice Man and Flash Man argue.)

Flash Man - How come you've always been sticking pineapples up my butt?

Ice Man - Ya wanna know?

Flash Man - I wanna know!

Ice Man - Ya wanna know?

Flash Man - I wanna know!

Ice Man - Ya sure you want to know?

Flash Man - I'm sure I wanna know!

Ice Man - Okay!

(A brief silence follows.)

Ice Man - What were we talking about?

Flash Man - I wanted to know!

Ice Man - Oh, you wanna know, do you?

Flash Man - I WANNA KNOW!

Ice Man - Who are you?

(A few days pass and Flash Man meets Bubble Man in the alley.)

Bubble Man - Listen, the reason I brought you here is because… Uh… Actually, I need to meet some guy named Pedro. Keep an eye out.

(Some time later, Ice Man enters Flash Man's house and looks at the miniature Wily-tank, which has been repaired.)

Ice Man - What the hell is that?

Flash Man - That's a floor. You stand on it.

Ice Man - Oh, right. Right. I thought it was a large cabbage.

Flash Man - Okay…

Ice Man - And _WHAT_ in the _HELL_ is _THAT_?

Flash Man - Those are your testicles.

Ice Man - Oh, right. Hi, boys.

(Ice Man continues to talk after some… troubling images…)

Ice Man - I've been in this business for fifty years!

Flash Man - Really? You look more like a nine-year-old Eskimo.

(Flash Man gets slapped.)

Ice Man - Shut ya face, boy! I've got hemorrhoids bigger than you! With bigger eyebrows!

(Ice Man continues to talk to Flash Man through the bathroom door.)

Ice Man - I'm 76 years old.

(A small fart is followed by silence. Ice Man nudges the door open.)

Ice Man - I said I'm… HOLY SHIT!

(A huge fart follows and the door is blasted off of its' hinges, sending Ice Man flying across the room. Flash Man steps out.)

Flash Man - Man, if you think _that_ was bad, you should see me at the Burritofest at Jimmy's Taco Hut. Think Hiroshima 2.

(As Ice Man goes to leave, Flash Man begins yelling.)

Flash Man - I COULD BE GREAT! I COULD BEAT 'EM ALL!

(Ice Man turns around wearily.)

Ice Man - Listen kid. I'm sorry, but…

Flash Man - YOU STAY OUTTA THIS! THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND THAT LAZY ASSHOLE RIGHT THERE!

(Flash Man points accusingly at the toilet, which is now overflowing. Ice Man slowly backs out of the apartment. Once Ice Man leaves, he punches the wall twice. The second time, he punches through the wall and knocks an old lady down the stairs. The next morning, Flash Man gets up and walks to the fridge. He pulls out twelve eggs and breaks them into a glass.)

Flash Man - I need my protein.

(Flash Man takes the contents and drops them into his pants.)

Flash Man - Ah, eggs! -rub- -rub- -rub- Shiny shiny shiny!

(He picks up a syringe.)

Flash Man - Ah, here's that protein.

(He injects himself with it and immediately begins seeing pink bunnies and dancing mushrooms that start singing 'It's A Small World After All'.)

Flash Man - Whoa. I think that that was the wrong syringe.

(Once he recovers and once Flash Man runs down the street, about a dozen cats run up to him and jump on him, causing him to flail and run around in circles. He eventually runs onto the sidewalk and scares the crap out of the old lady from the stairs.)9

Old Lady - -in a disturbingly burly and manly voice- HOLY SHIT!

(The old lady runs into traffic where she's hit. Later that day, Flash Man enters the meat factory with Megaman. However, instead of meat, full cows are hanging. Suddenly, one starts mooing.)

Megaman - Shut the -bleep- up!

(Megaman shoots the cow in the head with a handgun as Flash Man jaw drops. However, it breaks off and falls to the floor. Once he reattaches it, Megaman gives him some meat.)

Megaman - Are you screwing my sister?

Flash Man - I'm screwing her over, if that's what you mean. -turns around- I'm gonna go. It's too cold in here. My testicles have already shriveled to raisin size.

(A.N. This is a disturbing parody of a famous scene. Be warned.)

(Flash Man suddenly stops and begins to punch a cow over and over, even after it stops squirming.)

Megaman - Hey You're breaking the ribs!

(Megaman watches as Flash Man continues.)

Megaman - On second thought, that's an excellent way to beat your meat.

(Flash Man's hand stops in midair.)

Flash Man - I'm just going to go now.

(Later, in the gym, Flash Man proceeds to beat a hanging Top Man to a pulp as Metal Man holds him.)

Top Man - Uh, guys/ OW! This isn't funny. OW! Could you let me down? Please? OW! AH! DAMMIT!

(Outside the gym, Flash Man runs down the sidewalk in a boxer's stance. For no reason, as he passes Star Man, who is licking a lollipop, Flash Man clotheslines him. Seconds later, Flash Man stops when he sees Roll on her porch.)

Roll - Hey, I got you a surprise.

Flash Man - Really? What?

(As Roll turns around as the St. Bernard jumps through the window and attacks Flash Man.)

Flash Man - -dog calls that gradually turn into screaming-

(Then, as Roll starts to turn around again, the dog runs off.)

Roll - I got you… What the hell?

(Later, Flash Man runs down the sidewalk dragging the adopted St. Bernard. Then, as the meat factory interview begins, Flash Man starts.)

Reporter - …We will ask him about his unique training method. But first…

Flash Man - No no no! I'll answer it now. Basically, you take some meat. Then, you beat it. The only surefire way to become a champion is to beat your meat.

(Silence follows.)

Flash Man - I beat my meat at least three times a day!

Reporter - Okay… I'm sure many of our home viewers are beating their meat as we speak.

(That night, Megaman comes home drunk. He tells them to get out of the house, but they don't. So he pulls out a pat.)

Megaman - Whenever you need meat, I get it for you! You need advice, come to me! You need more pineapples, I'm the man! You need 75 tons of Vaseline…

Flash Man - We get it. We get it.

(The next day, Ice Man pumps Flash Man up as he trains.)

Ice Man - You'll spit out nails, kid! You'll belch thunder! You fart out bags of Cool Ranch Doritos! Like that guy said, you'll eat like a winner and crap like you swallowed an atomic bomb! It'll be World War 2 all over again!

(The Rocky theme begins playing as Flash Man runs through a slum. For no reason, a flaming Wood Man runs behind him and is soon pursued by homeless people. Then, someone throws a flaming dog of dog crap at Flash Man. As the scene changes, Flash Man punches a small punching bag repeatedly. The camera then pans out to see Auto with a look of agony/ anguish/ mild enjoyment on his face.)

Flash Man - I'm afraid to look up…

(After a few brief scenes, Flash Man runs down a marina. Suddenly, Wood Man, who's still flaming, runs past him as the homeless people continue their pursuit. As Flash Man jumps around after scaling the stairs, he is knocked down them by an old man in an electric wheelchair.)

Old Man - Excuse me, young man.

(All the while during these scenes, the slightly-edited version of the Rocky theme plays.)

Rocky Theme Choir - Flying hiiiiiiigher! As on fiiiiiire! He's a fiiiiiighter! But he's only got one baaaall!

(On the day of the fight, Roll stops him.)

Flash Man - My, you're looking good today.

Roll - -blushes- Thank you.

Flash Man - Yeah. It looks like you've got dough on your head, but that can be overlooked.

(As the announcer talks, the camera turns to him. It looks like he's wearing Dr. Frankenstein's hair.)

Announcer - There is electricity everywhere. Even in my hair.

(Instead of George Washington, Clown Man enters as Jason. For no reason, he stabs someone from the crowd in the chest with the machete. Then, as Clown Man plays to the crowd, Flash Man chuckles.)

Flash Man - Is he talking to me?

Ice Man - Yeah.

Flash Man - What's he saying?

Ice Man - Sucky sucky two dolla!

(As the microphone is lowered, the announcer notices that it is the size of a sofa.)

Announcer - SWEET -squish-

(After Junk Man talks to Flash Man, he walks over to Clown Man, hugs him, and knees him in the groin.)

Junk Man - You still owe me ten bucks!

(As Clown Man and Flash Man walk towards each other, Clown Man points at him.)

Clown Man - I want you! In my bed! Tonight! After I whoop yo' ass!

(Once the fight begins, the two circle each other and Clown Man continuously punches Flash Man in the face while saying 'Who's Yo' Daddy?' The announcers notice this begin to announce it.)

Announcer 1 - Apparently, Clown Man is unsure of who Flash Man's daddy is. A good question to ask.

Announcer 2 - My daddy's an alcoholic.

Announcer 1 - We all know, Roy. We all know.

(While the announcers say that Clown Man is dancing around the ring, he begins to Riverdance while swinging his tongue around like Gene Simmons. Later, after Flash Man gets pummeled in the corner, he begins hugging Clown Man.)

Flash Man - Hmmm… You smell pretty…

(Once the round ends, Flash Man falls into his corner.)

Flash Man - How's it look, Mick?

Ice Man - Eh, you'll probably die. Plus, you've got a jellybean stuck in your nose. Aside from that, you're fine.

(Near the end of the second round, Flash Man begins to punch Clown Man.)

Flash Man - This… Is… For… Forgetting… My… Fifteenth… Birthday!

(Afterwards, Flash Man gets back to his corner.)

Flash Man - I can't see nothing. Cut me, Mick.

Ice Man - YEE-OKAY!

(Ice Man stabs a kitana through Flash Man's forehead.)

Ice Man - HEHEHE… CUT CUT CUT!

(At the end of the movie, Flash Man calls out over the crowd.)

Flash Man - Adrian! Adrian! You still owe my five bucks, you bitch!

* * *

Whoa! That was the longest chapter since I was working on _Video Game Village_! Anyways, the next chapter is a parody of the 2005 remake of The Poseidon Adventure. Until then, please Read and Review! 


	17. The Poseidon Adventure Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

Hey howdy! This parody is of the 2005 remake of The Poseidon Adventure. I wasn't originally planning on a parody of this, but there were a couple scenes with 'Parody me!' written on them, so here goes!

* * *

Parody #15

A Parody of The Poseidon Adventure

By: The Legends series

* * *

(Megaman, Roll, Data, and Prof. Barrell are walking through the ship's security and, as Data goes through the metal detector, it beeps.)

Apathetic Security Guard - Sir, please remove any metal objects that you may…

Data - Look, dumbass. I'm ion a bad mood. I'm made of metal. Stop acting like yourself and try to act… -pile of guns drops from Data's back- Whoops…

Formerly Apathetic Guard - I need backup!

Roll - Hey, Megaman. Should we stop for Data? It looks like he's in trouble.

Megaman - Nah, come on.

Roll - But…

(Numerous gunshots are heard and the three become anxious to leave.)

Megaman - I said let's go! -more gunshots- FASTER!

(After getting their IDs and boarding the ship, Data begins filming around the kitchen with a camcorder.)

Data - And thus the kitchen chefs prepare for another sinister plot, one of which will make the world conscious of the Chef's Cultural Cult. It is a name which obviously rips from the Ku Klux Klan, but it is still a name, one which will soon strike fear into everyone's hearts.

Chef - Shut the hell up!

Data - And thus, their arch nemesis chooses his first target…

(Later, once the ship sets sail, the Bonnes and the Caskets run into each other.)

Roll - You!

Tron - You!

Megaman - Him.

Barrell - Her.

Data - Me!

Teasel - Bad pun. Real bad pun.

(Later, the chefs send a message to each other. It reads 'Spank The Monkey'. After it, the time of 10:00 flashes. The chefs look around and, when the time comes, one chef pulls out a bomb on the bottom floor of the ship.)

Chef - I'm singing in the rain! Just singing in the…

Megaman - -walks in- Innocent bystander! -shoots chef- Twenty points! Oh yeah! I'm on a roll!

(A chef on the other side of the ship places the bomb in a storage closet and activates it. Then, he exits the door, locks it, and pauses in front of it. He closes his eyes, but the bomb doesn't explode. Instead, the chef farts and a huge hole is blown in the side of the ship. This causes the water to start rushing in and the ship rocks.)

Barrell - What was that?

Teasel - I don't know, but it smells all of a sudden.

(Then, as the ship begins to flip over, Megaman begins to… Um… Play around inside a cardboard box.)

Megaman - -walks into dining hall- Okay, now find Roll and… Uh oh.

(The ships falls onto its' side and Megaman falls to the wall.)

Megaman - Box is very uncomfortable all of a sudden.

(The ships flips all of the way and Megaman plummets to the ceiling, landing next to Roll.)

Megaman - I'm gonna… OW! Ah crap. Wait a sec… Roll?

Roll - Are you in a box?

Megaman - Your package arrived.

(Shortly afterwards, Teasel finds Glyde, the chef in charge of the entire attack and pulls a gun out.)

Teasel - Now, I'm gonna give you three seconds to talk before I begin putting caps in your ass!

Glyde - Whatever you say, Mr. Capone. If you must know, I ate jellybeans before boarding and I had to fart.

Teasel - Don't you mean baked beans?

Glyde - No.

Teasel - Right…

(The group of the Caskets, the Bonnes, and Glyde begin moving towards where the hole in the ship is. They climb to a high ledge by using a giant pencil.)

Megaman - Thanks, nerd!

Nerd - Stop making funny of me. -classic nerd snort-

(They begin to make their way through the ship, but come across a room that is on fire. They quickly make their way through, but Barrell looks up and is crushed by a giant cheese cube.)

Roll - Grandpa!

Megaman - Forget him. He was annoying anyways.

(They continue on until they reach a large, vertical tunnel. They begin climbing the ladder when a burst of water breaks loose and blasts Tron to her demise in the seemingly bottomless pit.)

Roll - God, I can't stand her! It's about damn time!

Megaman - That's mean…

Roll - You're only sad 'cause you saw her naked!

Megaman - So… I've seen you naked…

Roll - So…

(After dropping the conversation, they reach a tunnel filled with water. Mistress Sera, who joined them along with Mistress Yuna, goes first, but drowns halfway to the other side.)

Yuna - I think she's dead.

Megaman - Nah. Pull the rope.

(They do so and it comes back without Sera's body.)

Megaman - She's dead. Next?

(After swimming through it, the group goes ahead of Yuna as she catches her breath. The US marines arrive and set up C4 on the pile of junk blocking the exit. Yuna suddenly walks in as the marine goes to push the switch.)

Yuna - Where'd everybody go?

(Yuna is blown to smithereens, but the wall of junk remains. They come up with Plan B and go down a hallway until reaching a walkway several stories above a flaming ground.)

Megaman - Lovely, now we've got to cross a rickety walkway all the way over to the other side while trying not to fall into the precipices of Hell itself. All in favor of forcing Data to go first, say Yay.

(Everyone but Data says Yay.)

Data - And you wonder why I brought all those guns. Phht! I'll show you how it's done.

(Data easily walks across it, but halfway to the other side, a large hand reaches up, grabs Data, and a deep laughing is heard.)

Data - OH MY GOD! HELP ME! HELP ME!

Satan - Where is your God now? HAHAHAHAHA!

(Satan drags Data down into Hell and everyone just looks down until Teasel steps onto the platform, shoves Glyde to the floor below, and runs across the walkway.)

Teasel - I just solved two problems for the price of one. Yay me!

Roll - I'm next.

(Roll easily walks across it and jumps onto the other side.)

Megaman - Looks like I'm last.

(Megaman walks halfway before the walkway begins to fall apart. Megaman barely manages to jump to the other side of the room before the walkway falls into Hell.)

Megaman - I hate this melodramatic stuff.

(After actually setting off the second bomb, the three jump out of the hole and begin swimming to safety.)

Random US Marine - I thought there were eleven survivors.

Megaman - Nah. Just us. Now take me to land. Chop chop!

Random US Marine - -sigh- The things I do for this country…

(They all begin swimming off, but, for no reason whatsoever, a huge crack appears in the Earth and swallows them all before closing again.)

God - Oh, I love to do that. And they were so… Innocent! Twenty-five points! Yay me!

* * *

See? Nothing special. But the next chapter will be because I make a parody of quite possibly one of the greatest fighting games of all time. Which one you might ask? Two words: Finish him! Until then, Read and Review and I'll continue! 


	18. Mortal Kombat Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

And now, time to make fun of a very popular fighting game, Mortal Kombat! This game is just begging for a parody and so, I'll give it what it wants. Also, I haven't actually played a Mortal Kombat game aside from Shaolin Monks, so I'll mainly make fun of fatalities. Anyways, here's parody number sixteen!

* * *

Parody #16

A Parody of Mortal Kombat

By: The Zero series

* * *

(The actual hunter X walks in as a hologram in a blue suit. For some reason, he becomes solid.) 

Zero - Ready for the next parody, huh?

X - Yeah.

Zero - Who are you?

X - Sub Zero. You?

Zero - I've got two parts. I'm only saying that I'm Scorpion. You'll have to guess the other one.

X - I don't like thinking. Ah well.

Zero - Quitter.

(For no reason whatsoever, upon climbing onto the roof of some random building, Harpuia flies down.)

Zero - Who are you?

Harpuia - I'm Mr. Potater Head!

Zero - What?

Harpuia - I'm Lui Kang. Better?

Zero - Much.

(Suddenly, Phantom runs in and shoves Harpuia aside.)

Phantom - Infidel! I am Kung Lao and I shall face him!

Zero - Okay. Do you even know how to fight a match?

Phantom - Yes! -takes shuriken and throws it like a hat- I win! Fatality!

(Zero easily moves aside and the shuriken comes back and decapitates Phantom.)

Deep Voice - Scorpion wins! Self-inflicted fatality!

Zero - Right…

(Ciel and Alouette walk in.)

Zero - Hi. And you are?

Ciel - Nobody. We're not in this parody. We just happened to wander in.

Harpuia - How dare you! I challenge you to Mortal Kombat!

Ciel - Okay.

Deep Voice - Fight!

(Ciel proceeds to continously do the same attack over and over again.)

Zero - Not these people.

Deep Voice - Finish them!

(Harpuia stands stiff and smiles in an extremely disturbing way. Then, he tilts his head and looks off. For no reason, Ciel and Alouette drop dead.)

Deep Voice - You win! Double fatality!

Harpuia - Own.

(X appears in a bolt of lightning wearing a white suit and woven hat.)

Zero - Since when are you Raiden?

X - Since we had a shortage in characters. Now, the both of you, listen. I command you to do that and you to do this. Then, I will want fifty jumping-jacks followed by three hundred single-handed push ups. Got that?

Deep Voice - Finish him!

X - Oh boy…

(Zero grabs his spear and accidentally throws it into X's head.)

Zero - Get over here!

(Zero rips X's head off and it rolls to his feet.)

Zero - Cool. Look what I can do! -swings speared head around in circles-

Deep Voice - You win! Fatality!

(Suddenly, Fefnir jumps in with two cardboard arms attached to his back.)

Fefnir - Fear me! I am Goro! I fart benevolence!

Zero - Don't you mean malevolence. Benevolence is kindness.

Fefnir - Silence!

Deep Voice - Finish…

(Fefnir punches Zero's head off and does a victory dance.)

Deep Voice - You didn't even let me finish. Son of a bitch!

(For no reason, Fefnir explodes.)

Deep Voice - I win! Fatality!

(Zero respawns as Reptile and he lurks his way to Neo Arcadia.)

Zero - I'm not abnormal-looking. Just passing through. 'Scuse me. You'll die in the next life! Coming through.

(Once inside Neo Arcadia, he meets Leviathan.)

Zero - And you are?

Leviathan - I'm Stephanie Something-Or-Other.

Zero - You forgot your own character's name?

Leviathan - Yeah.

Zero - You suck. Bye.

(Zero lurks away while Leviathan shrugs and walks off.)

Zero - Honestly. That's pathetic.

Harpuia - I'm back.

Zero - Lovely. The peanut gallery returns.

Harpuia - Hey! I'd be an art gallery if anything!

Zero - Be gone with ye!

(Harpuia explodes.)

Zero - What the…

Deep Voice - Shit. I forgot to say 'Test Your Might!' Ah well. You suck. Hahahahaha…

Zero - We'll see who has the last laugh.

(X walks in dressed as Sub Zero.)

X - What up? Wait. My lungs! Ack! Air! I… need… -dies-

Zero - What the shit?

Deep Voice - You win! Global warming!

Zero - That's even worse.

(Zero eventually finds his way to Omega X. He is actually normal.)

Zero - Who are you?

Omega - I don't' know why, but I'm Baraka.

(Omega points his arms down and spikes impale his feet. He looks down at them.)

Omega - Ow.

Zero - Die!

(Omega does so, only to return seconds later dressed as an old man.)

Zero - What the crap!

Omega - Ha ha! I am Tsang Shung and I shall not be defeated!

Zero - Bite me, old man!

Omega - You're older!

Zero - Death!

(Fefnir, dressed as Johnny Cage, jumps in a punches Omega's head off.)

Deep Voice - You win! Fat… Hey! Wait a freaking second!

Zero - How dare you! Take this!

(Zero reaches his hand and farts. Then, he blasts through the room. Fefnir gags, then dies.)

Deep Voice - You win! Fartality!

Zero - Woohoo!

(Zero flies into space and dies due to lack of oxygen.)

Deep Voice - You win! Fatality? Wait a sec. Hello? Anybody? Hello? I'm alone again…

Unusual Voice - It's peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time!

Deep Voice - NOOOOOOOOO! Wait... Finish Yourself!

Unusual Voice - It's peanut butter jelly...

(A loud squish is heard.)

Deep Voice - Fatality! Hahaha! Wait... I'm alone again. Oh well... there's always old Spongebob reruns... I miss my poopaw...

* * *

Again, nothing special, but I don't know the series that well. Anyways, in the next chapter, the X series mocks Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. San Andreas hadn't been released when I came up with this one, so you'll have to deal with this. Anyways, Read and Review and I'll continue! 


	19. Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

In this chapter, the X series mocks Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. My friend came up with the idea for a single scene involving a dead body and a golf cart and I decided to make a parody from that. Anyways, here's parody number seventeen!

* * *

Parody #17

A Parody of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City

By: The X series

* * *

(The setting is Gig… I mean, Vice City. Zero walks out of his apartment with a briefcase. He casually walks into his garage and gets into a golf cart. He starts it up and drives out of the garage. He turns right and goes to get out of the driveway when a random civilian steps onto the grass.)

Zero - Sonabitch! The Negro's on my property!

(A.N. Oh yeah! Before I forget, this is in **_NO_** way whatsoever intended to be racist. It's here merely for comical purposes. I apologize in advance to anyone I may offend with this.)

(Zero stops the golf cart, gets out of it, pulls a magnum out of nowhere, and shoots the civilian, who was obviously African-American. You know, those weird guys with the pink suits who walks like everyone else? In the game I mean. Anyway, Zero smiles and the gun vanishes into thin air.)

Zero - That'll teach those Negroes to stay off of my lawn. They are the little bastard children of God I tell ya!

(Zero gets back into the golf cart and drives off. He turns into the street, then onto the sidewalk. He begins to drive over the bridge and also any people who are walking in the path.)

Zero - I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date! I can't stop! Hello! Goodbye! I'm late! I'm late! I'm late! (reference to Alice in Wonderland)

(Zero turns off of the bridge and begins to drive towards the golf course. Once then, he drives the golf cart up to the entrance.)

Guard #1 - I'm sorry, sir. You have to park that in the lot.

Zero - What lot? It's just a loop. I've got a better idea. How 'bout you kiss my ass and I drive over yours.

(Zero drives over the guards and through the metal detector.)

Zero - I shouldn't leave them here. Hmmm… Maybe I could…

(Minutes later, Zero is driving down the path with his briefcase on the passenger's seat and Megaman X3's Zero Theme playing on the radio.)

Zero - This song kicks _ass_ biscuits!

(Zero slows down as X holds out his thumb.)

Zero - Normally, I wouldn't pick up a bum. But in this case…

X - Bite me. Now move this thing and let's go.

(Zero puts the briefcase into the little basket behind the seats and drives off.)

So, when's the parody starting?

Zero - It already has.

X - Really?

Zero - Yeah. So far I'm apparently anti-Negro, I don't like driving on roads, and I killed two guards back there.

(X remains silent for a second.)

X - You did what?

Zero - Yeah, ran 'em over. Ya know, I'm gonna like this parody.

X - So… What's in the suitcase.

(Zero begins to glance at X uneasily.)

Zero - Muffins…

(X slowly looks back to the briefcase before looking forward again. He forces a smile and looks around. He hears a siren and spins around.)

X - The police! Thank God!

Zero - What?

X - I mean… The police. What do they want?

Zero - Right…

(Zero pulls over and the officer walks up to the driver's side of the golf cart.)

Officer - Sir, would you know anything about the break-in up front?

Zero - Break-in?

Officer - Apparently, some psycho drove through the metal detectors.

(All heads turn to the metal detector which is stuck in the front of the golf cart.)

Officer - Sir, what's that?

Zero - Hood ornament…

Officer - Eh, good enough for me. And you?

X - No, I didn't realize someone broke in.

(X then mouths the words 'Help me' behind Zero's back. He turns to X and he immediately stops. Zero raises an eyebrow and turns back to the officer. X then places his hands together and mouths 'Please'.)

Officer - Right… I think everything's… Wait a minute. Sir, do ya mind opening this for me?

Zero - All that's in there are muffins.

Officer - One of the guards' bodies is missing. Please open the briefcase.

(Zero sighs and pulls the briefcase onto his lap. X looks excited that Zero's about to get busted and, oddly enough, everyone leans closer. He opens it and six steaming muffins are inside.)

Zero - Happy now?

X - Then what happened to the body?

Zero - Oh, that! I left it in some guy's trunk.

(Zero stops and turns towards the officer.)

Zero - Oops.

Officer - Sir, do ya mind stepping out of the… vehicle?

Zero - Do you mind turning around so I can take your picture?

Officer - -turns around- What for?

(Zero pulls out the magnum and shoots the cop.)

X - Zero! That's an instant two-star felony!

Zero - I know. Let's go for six! Hahahahaha!

(Zero takes off like Speed Racer, leaving the muffins next to the officer's body.)

X - Zero!

Zero - Hold your horses.

(Zero begins to swerve maniacally for a second or two before slamming the gas down and heading for a ramp.)

X - Zero… Zero… Zero!

(They hit the ramp and land in the water. Somehow, the wheels of the golf cart turn themselves sideways.)

X - Like, what the crap?

Zero - Hehe… It's called a 'Cars Float On Water' cheat!

X - We're making fun of the cheats?

Zero - Of course! Do you know how many people use them on this game? It would be insulting not to!

X - So… how d'ya do this again?

Zero - It's simple! You just press L1 L2 R1 R2 left right up down… oh shit.

(The car slowly begins sinking in the water.)

X - Turn it back on! Turn it back on!

Zero - Okay… uh… L1 L2 R1 R2 left right down up… oh double shit.

(Zero suddenly changes into an old woman with herpes.)

Zero - Um… Cancel?

(Zero changes back and the golf cart starts rising again.)

Zero - Eh…

(Zero drives the golf cart to the dock behind his mansion and they climb out.)

X - What about this?

Zero - I can summon another in a time of need.

X - So, what now? I mean, the boats are starting to come.

Zero - Boats? -hears siren- Curses! It's the coppers! Follow me!

(Zero and X run up the stairs and hurry towards a small helicopter with a machine gun on it.)

Zero - Say hello to the Sea Sparrow! Now get your ass in here!

(Zero and X get in and Zero starts it up.)

Zero - Up, up, and awaaaaaay!

(Zero lifts the helicopter off the ground while holding the gun firing button. Another African-American walks by and is shot in the head.)

Zero - Damn Negroes! They pop out like rabbits!

X - What's with the almost-racist speech?

Zero - How the hell should I know? Now, I've always wanted to do one thing.

X - Something tells me it involves killing.

Zero - Well, sort of…

(Moments later, X and Zero are flying towards and massive cruiser filled with crates of all colors.)

Zero - A harbor. Add one machine gun and a deranged psychopath and you've got yourself a recipe for disaster. Observe.

(Zero holds the fire button again and begins to shoot at the random civilians.)

Zero - Hahaha! Oh, head shot! Wait! Is that… Yes! Run, Negro! Run! Oh, didn't run fast enough, did ya!

(Zero opens his door and yells 'Didya!" again.)

Zero - Did you ever getting the sensation that your falling?

X - Do you know what happens when the driver exits a helicopter in this game?

(They both look down and scream as they land painfully on the road. Then, they stand up.)

X - We're still alive?

Zero - Let's hear it for video game inconsistencies!

(X and Zero go to get back in the helicopter when they see Chill Penguin dressed as a prostitute,)

Zero - That's a lovely image.

Chill Penguin - Hey, big boy. How'd you like to become the luckiest man on earth?

(A truck stops and Rainy Turtloid steps out of it.)

X - LET'S GO! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! BAD IMAGES! BAD IMAGES!

(After making a hasty exit, leaving the helicopter behind, X and Zero run off down the street. Eventually, they slow down.)

X - Wow. I think I'm scarred for life.

Zero - Ditto. But at least we're on the other side of the island now.

X - Is this an island?

Zero - I really don't know.

(Zero stops, perks up, and begins sniffing the air.)

X - Zero?

Zero - -sniff- -sniff- You smell that? -sniff- -sniff- Smells like Negro!

X - Come on, Zero. I swear. You're gonna get the author into a lawsuit.

Zero - So?

Big, Booming Voice - So you should be concerned for your life!

Zero - So what. I'm afraid to say Ni… -lightning bolt appears in front of Zero's face and hangs there- …geria. -lightning bolt disappears-

X - Who's voice was that?

Big, Booming Voice - Who do you think it is, Arthur?

(The clouds part and the Monty Python God appears.)

X - Sweet Juju Jesus! It's God!

Zero - What are you doing here? There's no Arthur here.

God - There isn't? Sorry, I must be on the wrong set.

(The clouds close together again.)

X - Odd…

Cop - There they are!

Zero - -looks up- Oh, yeah! I forgot I had two felonies. Well, now I've got three, so…

(Zero turns around and began jerking in every direction, occasionally throwing a punch wherever he's facing. Suddenly, three pink words appear and the cops blink.)

Cop #1 - What were we doing?

Cop #2 - Who knows.

Zero - Hehe… No stars cheat. Now let's fix that.

(Zero swiftly pulls out a rocket launcher and blows the cars and cops to smithereens.)

Zero - Sweet! I instantly got my felonies back! Woohoo!

X - Isn't that bad?

Zero - Sort of. Let's get a move on!

(X and Zero start running towards the bikers' bar and they run inside.)

Zero - Whoo! This place stinks worse than my ass after taking a fifteen minute crap after eating Mexican food for an hour.

X - Ew…

Zero - Who owns this dump!

(A big heavy-set guy walks up and cracks his knuckles. His hand is the size of Zero's head.)

Biker - I am. Now, what were you saying?

Zero - Yeah, what were you saying X?

X - What?

(After X got a painful beating up and Zero snuck away, he realizes where his muffins are.)

Zero - Son of a bitch! Damn coppers probably have them. Stupid… cops… muffins… cops… muffins… Negroes… muffins… Negro muffins…

X - I… loath… you…

Zero - Where'd you come from?

X - Hello! You're standing outside of the bar!

(Zero turns around and looks at the bar door.)

Zero - Hey, you're right. Anyways, sorry 'bout that. Now, let's go get those muffins!

X - Yes, my lord and master.

Zero - Hey, that looks like a nice ride! Let's take it.

(Zero walks across the street, punches a window in, and takes out a dirt bike. X gets on the back.)

X - Why do I have to sit here?

Zero - "Cause you're my bitch! Now silence.

X - Screw you.

Zero - Silence, bitch!

(Zero raises his 'pimp' hand and X merely aims his buster at Zero's face.)

Zero - Right. Point proven.

(After returning to the golf course, Zero discovers that the body is still there, but the muffins are not. He screams 'Son of a bitch!' and it echoes throughout the course, making birds fly into the air. He jumps back on the Sanchez and drives to the police station.)

Zero - I've got to report a crime! Some bastard Negro took my muffins!

Officer - I'm sorry. You'll have to… Hey! You're that guy everyone's after!

Zero - Oh… Forgot about the felonies again. No matter.

(A chainsaw appears in Zero's hands and he jumps behind the desk. Screams, chainsaws revs, and not-too-pleasant noises are heard.)

X - Ew…

(Zero stands up and jumps back over the desk. He is covered in blood.)

Zero - Alright, let's go! No one can help us now.

(They exit the police station and he finds a note on the bike.)

Zero - 'If you ever want to see your muffins again, then follow the redhead'. Damn the government! They've probably made some sickening twist between Negro and redhead!

X - Actually, I think they mean him.

(X points to Axl, who is covered by a trenchcoat. Axl glances backwards and begins skipping around the corner.)

Zero - Right then. Onward!

(A police car crashes in the bike and spins into a tree. The hunters stand up and get back on the bike.)

Zero - Assholes! Get off the damn cell-phone. Now, onward!

(Zero and X take up the chase as Axl begins driving away in a semi. A few minutes later, the semi stops at Zero's mansion. Axl continues driving and drives into the water. The car sets on fire and explodes.)

X - Odd.

(Zero keeps driving and drives into his mansion.)

Zero - Now who the -bleep- took my muffins!

Unknown Voice - There you are. So, you followed the redhead. To your grave! Ahahahaha!

X - I know it's you Sigma.

(The hunters turn around and Sigma's cloaked figure is seen.)

Sigma - Huh? Oh… Damn…

Zero - What's up, ass-chin?

Sigma - God dammit! Stop that!

Zero - Never! Now, where's my muf… Wait… I know why you're cloaked. You're a Negro, aren't you!

Sigma - A what? What's with him?

X - Dunno. He's been obsessed with Negroes this whole chapter.

Sigma - Ah…

Zero - Give me my muffins, you Negro bastard.

(Zero jumps on top of Sigma and stabs him numerous times with his saber.)

Zero - My muffins!

(Zero reaches down and picks up the briefcase full of muffins.)

Zero - Now, I must deliver these.

(Zero turns to X.)

Zero - Here you go.

X - Wha?

Zero - I am part of the Muffin Delivery Team. It is my duty to deliver muffins to those who need it.

X - Right… Thanks… I guess…

(X opens the briefcase and stares at a sawed-off leg of one of the golf course guards. He promptly has a heart attack.)

Zero - Huh… Ah well. My job here is done!

(Back at the MDT HQ, Zero takes another order.)

Dynamo - Why am I working here? McDonalds is better than this place!

Zero - Shut up and give me the order.

Dynamo - Here.

(Dynamo hands him a pizza.)

Zero - What kind of muffins this? Wait! This must be the legendary muffinus pizza…sis…nerectum…dingy…maflob…Negro…

Dynamo - Huh?

Zero - Never mind. Onward!

(Zero drives off in his golf cart, stops, and backs up.)

Zero - Almost forgot.

(Zero shoots Dynamo in the head with the magnum.)

Zero - Ha ha! Loser!

(Zero drives off and stops in the middle of the road. There, he happens to glance up.)

Zero - Hey! I finally got to six stars! That means that…

(Zero slowly looks to the left as a Rhino tank heads straight for him.)

Zero - Oh snap…

(Zero quickly drives backwards and out of the tanks way.)

Zero - Now this is thrilling! Onward!

(Zero turns and proceeds to attempt to evade the army by driving away in a golf cart. The tank, however, is stuck in the front end of the pizza/ muffin place.)

Zero - Ha! You'll never catch me, you cold-blooded…

(Without watching where he's going, Zero drives straight into another tank and blows up. Sigma, who's hobbling up, stops.)

Sigma - Odd… Ah well. Dumdedumdedum.

(The tank's turret turns and wipes Sigma of the map. The hatch opens up and Signas pops out of it.)

Signas - Ha! I got him! I finally got you, Whitey! Haha! 'Never trust Whitey' they say. Well, I killed Whitey. Haha!

* * *

I repeat, this chapter is in no way intended to be racist. It's just meant to be comical. Tune in next time when the Classic series takes a little trip to a mountain town named South Park. Until then, Read and Review and I'll continue! 


	20. South Park Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

In this chapter, the Classic series takes a little trip to a mountain town named South Park. As for the vulgarity, let's just say with this chapter alone, I'd have to rate this an 'M' fanfic. Anyways, here's parody number eighteen!

* * *

Parody #18

A Parody of South Park

By: The Classic series

* * *

(The setting is a room in a house in South Park. An alarm clock lays in pieces on a bed-stand and Astro Man floats up to a bed.) 

Astro Man - Sweetie? Sweetie? Oh god, I can believe I agreed to this… Sweetie?

(A mass of blanket stirs.)

Astro Man - It's time to get up.

(They stir some more.)

Astro Man - ASTRO CRUSH!

(Pink meteors rain down and demolish the house, leaving the bed and mass of blankets unscathed. A figure rises from them.)

Gyro Man - WHAT?

Astro Man - It's time to go to school, Kyle.

Gyro Man - You know what? -Bleep- school!

(Astro Man reaches back and tries to punch the groggy Gyro Man, but his hand is bent unnaturally.)

Astro Man - Oh God! My hand! Damn wind currents!

Gyro Man - Whatever… I'm outta this dump. -flies off-

Narrator - Elsewhere…

Flash Man - -creates large flash- Wakey! Wakey! Eggs and bakey!

Gravity Man - -rubbing eyes- Dude! What the dilly-o!

(Flash Man begins dancing and saying 'Time for school!' as if he's in a musical.)

Gravity Man - Why was I born into a Catholic family?

(He reverses gravity and Flash Man flies through the ceiling and towards the sky.)

Flash Man - You'll never crush my dream!

Gravity Man - Too bad you've crushed mine. Honestly…

(As Gravity Man leaves for school, Star Man walks into a different room.)

Star Man - This is the last time I'm calling you. Now get your fat ass out of bed or…

Hard Man - I'm not fat! I'm big-boned!

Star Man - Wait? Why am I your 'mom'? And 'dad'?

Hard Man - Everyone says you look gay. You're the perfect person for the part. Now move! I need food.

Star Man - Oh… I'm not gay… Owning pink tights doesn't make you gay… Does it?

(Star Man suddenly starts.)

Star Man - …AND I DON'T HAVE TWO KINDS OF GENITALS! At least… not… well… wait! NO! I DON'T!

Narrator - Elsewhere still…

Grenade Man - Boy! Get your butt down here! It's time for school!

(A series of oddly-timed thumps and muffled expressions are heard. Then, Ice Man is seen falling down the stairs one at a time like a domino. Once he reaches the bottom, it is seen that his hood is pulled so tightly around his face, only his eyes are visible.)

Ice Man - Mhph hpmhpmhh mhph! (Translation - That really hurt!)

Grenade Man - I'll bet. Time for school. Buh-bye now!

Ice Man - Mhph Mphh! (Bye, Mom!)

(Outside of school, the four friends meet.)

Gyro Man - Hey.

Gravity Man - Hi.

Hard Man - Wassup, bitches?

Ice Man - Mhhpmhph mhhp mhph! (Howdy home slice!)

Gyro Man - Hey, Gravity Man. Watch out. Here comes 'Wendy'.

Gravity Man - You're the playing Kyle, remember?

Gyro Man - Oh yeah. -turns and hurls on Pharaoh Man's face-

Pharaoh Man - Ew! Why do I have to be Wendy?

Gyro Man - Every time I see you, I'll hurl on your face. What's not to love!

Pharaoh Man - Oh…

(Pharaoh Man walks away as Spark Man hobbles up to them. He is using his arms as crutches.)

Spark Man - H-H-Hey g-g-g-g-guys! W-W-W-What's up?

Gravity Man - Okay… I've just come to a conclusion.

Spark Man - W-W-W-What's that?

Gravity Man - I am NOT about to listen to that the whole episode.

(Gyro Man and Ice Man grab one of Hard Man's arms as Gravity Man reverses the gravity again.)

Spark Man - T-T-T-This really s-s-s-sucks!

Ice Man - Mhhp phmh! (Thank God!)

(Charge Man rolls up in a wheelchair. A stupid expression is on his face.)

Hard Man - What's with you?

Charge Man - TIMMAY!

Gyro Man - Oh dear God! No!

Charge Man - TIMMAY!

(Gravity Man reverses the gravity once more, barely letting Ice Man and Gyro Man grab onto Hard Man again.)

Charge Man - TIMMAAAAAAY!

Gravity Man - I swear! I could break into a sweat doing this all day.

(The wall of a nearby building explodes and Frost Man runs up to them.)

Frost Man - Don't forget to bring a towel!

Gravity Man - And he's immune too! Dammit!

Hard Man - What don't you bother someone else, fatass?

Frost Man - I forgot where I was going…

Hard Man - Are you -bleep-ing kidding me!

Frost Man - I could remember if I got high!

Wood Man - Oh dear God! No!

(Frost Man reaches over and grabs both Wood Man and Heat Man. Frost Man lights Wood Man and then tosses his 'lighter' behind him. Then, he deeply inhales. The Popeye theme plays.)

Gyro Man - Where's the music coming from?

Frost Man - Oh man… I have no idea what the popsicle's goin' on.

Hard Man - Who gives a shit? I'm gonna be late for class! -runs off-

Gyro Man - He's got a point. Leave him and come on!

(Thefour friends leave as Frost Man blows the smoke of out his mouth. Once in the classroom, the bell rings and Plant Man walks up. He has his hands behind his back.)

Plant Man - Okay, children. Listen up. Today, we're gonna learn about all the reasons Bush is a -bleep-ing moron. Isn't that right, Mr. Hat?

(Plant Man reveals his hand, which is shoved up a miniaturized Ground Man's butt.)

Ground Man - I'm not saying a damn thing until you get your nasty ass hand out of my ass!

Plant Man - That's a bad Mr. Hat! Don't make me replace you with Mr. Stick!

(Plant Man brings his other hand out and a miniaturized Pirate Man is on it.)

Pirate Man - Yar! It appears that I have a hand going up me cornhole. Arrgh… at least I don't have to walk his plank again.

(Everyone remains silent until Gravity Man begins smashing his head on the desk repetitively. Moments later, the four Robot Masters find themselves in Mr. Mackey's office.)

Hard Man - You've got to be -bleep-ing kidding me.

(The camera turns to show Megaman with a weird look on his face.)

Megaman - So, um… Why are you here, m'kay?

Gravity Man - Don't you dare start with me! I WILL force you into the cosmos! ARMAGEDDON FOR THE INFIDELS! YOU WILL BURN IN THE FURY OF A THOUSAND SUNS!

(A brief silence follows.)

Megaman - I see… It appears as if you need a day or two off, m'kay.

Gyro Man - Really?

Megaman - Of course not! I'm not stupid, m'kay.

Hard Man - Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! I order you to stop, God dammit!

Megaman - You may want to look into anger management, m'kay.

Hard Man - AHHH!

(Hard Man jumps over the desk and begins to beat Megaman to a pulp. Gravity pauses and begins pounding his head on the desk again. After a breif fit,the three slink away and walk into the cafeteria.)

Gyro Man - Oh boy… Here comes Chef.

(Bass, who plays Chef, bounces up to the three without moving or lifting his legs.)

Bass - Hey kids.

(The three say 'Hey Chef' in unison.)

Gyro Man - What's with the movement?

Bass - Oh! This is how they move in the actual cartoon. So, I thought 'Why not move like this during the parody?'

Gravity Man - Um… 'Cause it's stupid.

Bass - Whatever. -bell rings- Oh! Time for recess. Now get outta here. Chef's got some things to take care of. -begins singing horribly-

Ice Man - -walks off- Mhhpphmhpmhh… (Whatever…)

(Once outside, Pharaoh Man begins to walk up to Gyro Man. He changes his mind when he starts running towards him. In the end, Pharaoh Man gets barfed on again. Anyways, let's see what's going on, shall we?)

Hard Man - Hey, guys.

Gyro Man - Where have you been?

Hard Man - Beating the crap out of Mr. Mackey.

Gyro Man - Really?

Hard Man - I know what could really spice this parody up.

Gyro Man - What?

Hard Man - Oh…

Gyro Man - Don't you dare!

Hard Man - Oh…

Gyro Man - I mean it!

(A brief silence follows.)

Hard Man - Oh… Kyle's mom is a big fat bitch! The biggest bitch in the whole wide world! Eh…

(Hard Man stops and places a hand to his chin.)

Hard Man - Damn! I forgot the words.

Gravity Man - Thank God.

Hard Man - However…

Gyro Man - What?

(Hard Man begins doing the Russian dance.)

Hard Man - I will do the German dance! Dance for me! Dance for you!

Unknown Voice - Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiidy ho!

Hard Man - -stops singing- Oh boy…

(Guts Man jumps out of the ground.)

Guts Man - Hidy ho!

Gravity Man - Beat it. I WILL force you into the cosmos! ARMAGED-

Hard Man - We get it.

(Guts Man gasps and runs off.)

Gravity Man - That's actually proving to be pretty effective. But who took a dump that size?

(For no reason, the mayor of South Park walks up.)

Bubble Man - Here, kids. Have some free spray paint. Enjoy! -runs off-

Gyro Man - Okay…

(Bubble Man runs behind a wall where Officer Barbrady is waiting.)

Bubble Man - As soon as the peckers spray graffiti on the wall, you arrest them. Got it?

Tengu Man - Yes, ma'am. I do.

Bubble Man - Stop calling me ma'am. I'm a guy, ya know.

Tengu Man - Anything you say, ma'am.

Bubble Man - Ugh…

(Gyro Man, Gravity Man, and Hard Man pick up the spray paint and being spraying it like air freshener.)

Ice Man - Mhph phhmhmhp hphm. (It's really hot.)

Gyro Man - Then take your hood off. Kenny does it. Once or twice…

Ice Man - -takes hood off- Thank God! I thought I was going to…

(Ice Man's head explodes. Cloud Man and Cut Man stop a few feet away and the kids turn to him.)

Gyro Man - Oh my God! You killed Ice Man!

Gravity Man - You bastards!

(Bass bounces up.)

Bass - Actually kids, Ice Man died due to global warming. And spraying aerosols, like spray paint, contributes to that.

(Bass bounces off and both Gyro Man and Gravity Man look at each other.)

Gyro Man - Oh my God! _We_ killed Ice Man!

Gravity Man - _We're_ bastards!

(Cloud Man and Cut Man walk up.)

Cloud Man - Hey kids.

Hard Man - Where are you going? And what's with the shotgun?

(Cut Man places a rod to his throat.)

Cut Man - -in a robotic tone- Mmm… Jimbo's got a gun…

Cloud Man - We're going hunting with a new hunting buddy.

Gyro Man - Who's that?

Cloud Man - Dick Cheney.

(An awkward silence follows.)

Cloud Man - Well… Um… Bye, then… I guess…

Cut Man - Mmm… Goodbye.

(Cloud Man and Cut Man walk away.)

Gravity Man - May God be with them.

Hard Man - Here here!

(Butters and Tweak walk up.)

Gyro Man - Hey! It's Butters!

Spring Man - AGH! -runs off-

Bomb Man - Right…

Hard Man - I don't like you.

Bomb Man - So?

Hard Man - So? I just don't like you. Case closed.

Bomb Man - Whatever… -walks off-

(Once school ends, they get onto the bus and begin making a lot of noise.)

Gyro Man - Yay! We're going home!

Hard Man - I'm gonna watch Terrance and Phillip as soon as I'm home!

Gravity Man - We'll watch it with you!

Gyro Man - Yay!

(Roll, who plays Mrs. Crabtree, turns around.)

Roll - Shut the -bleep- up!

Hard Man - Uncle -bleep-a!

Gyro Man - You're an inspiration to millions, Uncle -bleep-a!

Gravity Man - You apparently don't know any of the words to the song.

Everyone - Shut you're mother -bleep-ing face, Uncle -bleep-a!

Roll - SHUT YOUR MOTHER -BLEEP-ING MOUTHS ALREADY!

(Everyone grows silent.)

Roll - And stay that way.

(Once off of the bus, Gyro Man throws up in Pharaoh Man's face once more. Then, they walk into Hard Man's house.)

Star Man - Oh… It's you…

Hard Man - Are you still angry?

Star Man - I'm past that point.

Hard Man - Oh good.

Star Man - Now I'm pissed off!

Hard Man - Right… I'm gonna watch Terrance and Phillip.

(The TV is turned on and two people stand there. First, Fire Man is wearing a shirt with 'T' drawn onto it. Then, Gemini Man is standing there with a blue shirt and a 'P' drawn onto it.)

Gemini Man - Hey, Terrance!

Fire Man - Yes, Philip?

Gemini Man - Guess what? -farts-

Fire Man - Did you fart?

Gemini Man - Yes!

Fire Man - Just now?

Gemini Man - - Yes!

(Fire Man and Gemini Man break into a torrent of laughter until Fire Man suddenly stops.)

Fire Man - Oh shit!

(The entire set of the show explodes because you know what happens when gas and fire meet.)

Gyro Man - Man, this is bullshit!

Gravity Man - Tell me about it.

Hard Man - Ah well… Who wants some cheesy poofs?

Both - I do!

(Tango walks up to Hard Man and meows.)

Hard Man - No, kitty, these are my cheesy poofs!

(Tango meows again.)

Hard Man - -BLEEP- OFF KITTY!

Gravity Man - Man, this whole thing has just been like totally -bleep-ing stupid.

Gyro Man - I agree. I mean what could possibly make this wor-

Guts Man - Hiiiiiiidy ho!

Both - OH, GOD NOOOOOOOO!

* * *

Wasn't that weird? Anyways, in the next chapter, the Legends series gets to appear on Wheel of Fortune. So, Read and Review and I'll continue! 


	21. Wheel of Fortune Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

In this chapter, the Legends series gets to appear on Wheel of Fortune. By the way, I'm not gonna have people spinning the wheel 'cause that takes up the entire time. Anyways, here's parody number nineteen!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Parody #19

A Parody of Wheel of Fortune

By: The Legends series

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(Glyde walks up with Roll and they go different ways halfway to the stage. There, Megaman, Data, and Teasel all stand as contestants. People slowly stop clapping as Glyde prepares to talk.)

Glyde - Yea, yea. Welcome to Wheel of Fortune, blah blah blah, money, prizes, let's start.

(Audience applauds.)

Glyde - Thank you, dumb people. The category resembles a puzzle from Tribond.

_First Puzzle (Tribond-y Types):_

_----_

_------- -------_

_-. -. -------_

Megaman - Um… I never played Tribond.

Glyde - Well, sucks to be you! Now spin.

(Megaman spins and people began clapping and cheering. Glyde looks around annoyingly as the wheel keeps spinning… spinning… spinning… not slowing down… spinning… spinning… Suddenly, Glyde reaches down and stops it.)

Glyde - Now, a letter. Preferably an English one if you could manage it, _sir_.

Megaman - Uh… Does 'S' count?

Glyde - No, you fucktard. It doesn't.

Data - Yes it does!

Glyde - I'm gonna fucking kill you, monkey!

(A.N. As you have just seen, this chapter will be uncensored due to the Vgcats Dot Com reference I just used. That site's funny as hell.)

_First Puzzle (Tribond-y Types):_

_----_

_------- ----s--_

_-. -. S---s—_

Glyde - Now?

Megaman - I'll spin.

Glyde - No, you won't.

(A crane comes down and picks the wheel up, carrying it to God-knows-where.)

Gylde - There's no Goddamn wheel, no Goddamn money, and there sure as hell is no…

Data - Let me guess, sane hosts? Were they all out or something?

Glyde - You remember that when I'm holding a missile launcher at your ugly ass face. Now, pick a letter. I don't give a shit what letter, but just pick one. And be speedy about it. I'm going to miss Deal Or No Deal. AND I DON'T LIKE MISSING DEAL OR NO DEAL!

(Glyde launches a random rocket into the audience. Everyone that didn't get blown up applauds.)

Megaman - Fine! I'll pick… Um… uh… G?

Glyde - No Gs. You're a fucking moron and now on to the monkey.

Data - J… for jackass!

_First Puzzle (Tribond-y Types):_

_----_

_------- J---s--_

_-. J. S---s--_

Glyde - J… for jack-of-all-trades. Yes, I am! Now pick a letter 'fore I blow my fucking brains out.

Data - Oh… I'll pick…

Glyde - You said O. I'll go with that.

_First Puzzle (Tribond-y Types):_

_----_

_------- J---so-_

_O. J. S---so-_

Data - Okay…

Glyde - You said K. I'll go with that.

Data - Douchebag!

Glyde - Suck me.

_First Puzzle (Tribond-y Types):_

_----_

_------- J--kso-_

_O. J. S---so-_

Glyde - My God. You're not a fucking moron. Well, actually, you are. Keep a-picking, fuck-for-brains!

Data - Cram it! Now, I'll pick… E!

_First Puzzle (Tribond-y Types):_

_----_

_-----e- J--kso-_

_O. J. S---so-_

Data - I!

Glyde - -in singsong voice- …will fucking neuter you, monkey, if you don't hurry the fuck up!

_First Puzzle (Tribond-y Types):_

_----_

_-i---e- J--kso-_

_O. J. Si--so-_

Data - T!

Glyde - Is that your final answer?

Data - What?

Glyde - Do I look like I'm fucking kidding!

Megaman - Uh…

Gylde - HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? DON'T FUCK THE PORCUPINES! AAAAAAAAA-

TV Voice - We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by and thank you for your cooperation.

(Glyde holds a gun in his hand and his brains have been blown all over the desk.)

Megaman - Hmmm… Gory. I like gory.

Juno - Well, looks like I'm taking over.

Data - It's better than nothing.

_First Puzzle (Tribond-y Types):_

_--t-_

_-i---e- J--kso-_

_O. J. Si--so-_

Juno - Next letter.

Data - A. I've got a bad feeling to where this is going.

_First Puzzle (Tribond-y Types):_

_-ata_

_-i--ae- Ja-kso-_

_O. J. Si--so-_

Juno - Now?

Data - I'll solve. -sighs- Data. Michael Jackson. O. J. Simpson.

(The little fanfare plays.)

Juno - You are right! Now, for an extra nothing, can you tell me what these three things have in common?

Data - I don't know, and I'd prefer never to know.

Juno - They're all losers!

Data - Goddamn it! I knew it! This was a set-up! I swear it was!

Juno - Next category is Before & After Data kills himself!

Data - What!

Juno - Before & After!

_Second Puzzle (Before & After)_

_---- -- - ------- ----- --- --- --- -------- ---_

Juno - Data! You start us off.

Data - F… for fuck you all!

_Second Puzzle (Before & After)_

_---- -- - f------ ----- --- f-- --- -------- ---_

Data - I dunno! J!

Juno - -like surfer- For Juno!

Data - No. J for jalopy. Are you sure you weren't made from one?

Juno - -like game show host- Yes, I am! And there are no Js. You sucky monkey! On to Teasel!

Teasel - Is three a letter?

Juno - -smiles- No.

Teasel - Oh. Then I'll go with B.

Juno - -like surfer- Ahh! B for buttfu… um… for bummer! No Bs. Onto Megadude!

Megaman - Call me that again and this buster will be shoving up a very uncomfortable place.

Juno - Oh. Sorry.

Megaman - Don't be sorry. My butt itches hell! -itches butt-

Juno - Um… Yeah… Pick a letter… And don't touch me…

Megaman - E?

_Second Puzzle (Before & After)_

_---- -- - f------ --ee- E-e F-- --e -------- ---_

Juno - Next letter?

Megaman - I?

_Second Puzzle (Before & After)_

_---- i- - f---i-- --ee- E-e F-- --e ----i--- ---_

Juno - Next letter?

Megaman - E?

Juno - You said that.

Megaman - I?

Juno - You said that too.

Megaman - O?

Juno - You didn't say that.

_Second Puzzle (Before & After)_

_---- i- - f---i-- --ee- E-e Fo- --e ----i--- ---_

Juno - Next letter. And no more kids' songs.

Megaman - X!

Juno - This isn't that series. And even if it was, you'd still be wrong. Data?

Data - D! A! T! If my name's up there…

_Second Puzzle (Before & After)_

_Data i- a f---i-- --ee- E-e Fo- T-e -t-ai--t ---_

(Everyone turns to Data, who is readying a blowtorch.)

Juno - Data, another letter, please?

Data - Why?

Juno - That's good enough, suck monkey!

_Second Puzzle (Before & After)_

_Data i- a f---i-- --ee- Eye Fo- T-e -t-ai--t –y_

Data - I know the whole thing. And this letter will tell me if I need to kill people or not. I pick… Z!

Juno - Um… You're nowhere relatively close to a letter that's up there.

Data - Oh, then it isn't fuzzmonkey.

Juno - I don't see your logic, but okay. Teasel?

Teasel - I'd like to solve!

Juno - Go ahead.

Teasel - Data is a freaking three eye for the eighth guy… scalawag!

Juno - After listening to that statement, I'm on the verge of losing an IQ point. Megaman? Are you willing to give a somewhat sane answer?

Megaman - Of course! Data is a fucking Queer Eye For The Straight Guy!

(The fanfare plays again.)

Data - God-frickin-mother-stuffin-damn it!

Juno - -gasps- You're going to Hell for saying dirty words!

Data - Then I'll take you with me! -jumps on Juno- DIE, MOTHERFU-

TV Voice - We are once again experiencing technical difficulties. Thank you for your cooperation.

(Juno lays in pieces as Sera walks up and looks down.)

Sera - Right. The last puzzle is Phrase.

_Third Puzzle (Phrase)_

_---'- -------- ---- ----- ------ ----!_

Sera - Teasel, a letter, please.

Teasel - X!

_Third Puzzle (Phrase)_

_--X'- -------- ---- ----- ------ ----!_

Sera - It's your lucky day. Now give a sane response.

Teasel - M!

_Third Puzzle (Phrase)_

_M-X'- -------- ---- m---- ------ ----!_

Sera - Weird. Another?

Teasel - A!

_Third Puzzle (Phrase)_

_M-X'- -a------ ---- ma--- ------ ----!_

Sera - I think I see where is going.

Teasel - R!

_Third Puzzle (Phrase)_

_M-X'- -ar----- ---- ma--r ------ ----!_

Teasel - K!

Sera - Teasel?

Teasel - T!

Sera - Stop.

Teasel - H!

Sera - Sorry, no H. And we all know X marks the spot.

_Third Puzzle (Phrase)_

_M-X'- -ar----- k--k ma--r ---k-- --t-!_

Sera - Megaman?

Megaman - S!

_Third Puzzle (Phrase)_

_MSX's -ar----s k--k ma--r ---k-- --ts!_

Sera - Next letter and may I recommend a vowel?

Megaman - O!

_Third Puzzle (Phrase)_

_MSX's -aro---s k--k ma-or -o-k-- --ts!_

Sera - Talk about self-centering.

Megaman - I'd like to make a statement!

Sera - Ooookay… Be my guest.

Megaman - MSX's parodies kick major donkey nuts!

MSX - That they do, my child!

(The fanfare plays again.)

Data - At least one of the puzzles didn't make fun of me.

Megaman - …And Data is a douche!

_Third Puzzle (Phrase)_

_MSX's parodies kick major donkey nuts!_

…_And Data is a douche._

Data - God-frickin-mother-stuffin-muffin-suckin-granny-humpin-damn it!

Sera - Come with me, Megaman.

Megaman - Are we going to your dressing room? Wink, wink.

Sera - No, we're not. Wink, wink.

(Sera and Megaman walk to a miniature wheel. Megaman spins it and picks the card that he lands on.)

Sera - The category is Thing. First, the letters R, S, T, L, N, and E will be shown.

_Final Puzzle (Thing)_

_-r--t---e_

Sera - Now, we need three consonants and a vowel.

Megaman - K, M, F, and A.

Sera - Okay, you'll have ten seconds to solve it before time runs out. Good luck.

_Final Puzzle (Thing)_

_Fr--t--ke_

(Ten seconds go by and Megaman yells out a response as the buzzer sounds.)

Megaman - Threesome!

Sera - …nooo…

Megaman - Then what is it?

_Final Puzzle (Thing)_

_Fruitcake_

(Data's eye twitches before he screams a war cry and begins chasing Megaman around the stage.)

Sera - Um.. That's all the time for now. As for me, I quit. -throws card behind her and walks off-

Data - IT'S THE REVENGE OF KONG, MOTHERFUCKER!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------And thus ends another weird chapter. In the next chapter, Zero goes one-on-one with Regis 'cause he wants to be a millionaire. Until then, Read and Review and I'll continue!


	22. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

In this chapter, Zero goes one-on-one with Regis 'cause he wants to be a millionaire. Needless to say, I'm gonna come up with some pretty screwed-up questions 'cause I'm seeking advice from my friend, Kinetikai. If you've read his stuff, you know that this will be a very ungodly chapter. Anyways, here's parody number twenty!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Parody #20

A Parody of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

By: The Zero series

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(Regis walks to center-stage as lights spin around him.)

Regis - Hello and welcome to Who Wants To Be a Millionaire! To start off, we've got the fastest finger round. The question is…

(Gunshots ring out and all eyes turn to Zero, who's just shot and killed nine Phantom clones.)

Regis - Not what I meant, but workable. Zero, come on up here!

(Zero joins Regis in the 'hot seat' and the lights move in on them.)

Regis - You know the rules, the lifelines, let's do this! Let's play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!

Some Guy From The Audience - I do!

Regis - For $100, which of these colors are red? A: Blue. B: Green. C: Yellow. D: Red.

(Zero places a hand on his chin and begins to think.)

Regis - We've got a retard on the show. He's actually thinking about this one.

Zero - I'll go with… C!

Regis - Are you absolutely positive?

Zero - That is my final answer.

Regis - Just 'cause I feel so goddamn sorry for you, I'll say you said D. Now, for $200, in the upcoming series, Megaman ZX, for the first time, the main character is what? A: A man. B: A female. C: A child. D: Constipated.

Zero - It's either between A or D…

Regis - You're shitting me, right?

Zero - I shit you not.

Regis - How'd you even get through the auditions? Never mind, just answer.

Zero - What the hell! I'll go with B for boy, bitch, baby, and bowel movement!

Regis - I think I'm gonna B for barf. First, you got it right. Second, that was nasty. Don't say that again. Now, for $300, Baby Ruth shares his name with what candy bar? A: Snickers. B: Nestle. C: Baby Ruth. D: Skittles.

Zero - I'd like to use the 50/50 lifeline, please?

Regis - Jesus Christ! Fine, fine. Take two of the wrong answers away and… You're left with C or D. Might I recommend the one which is _exactly_ like the guy's name?

Zero - You'd like that, wouldn't you? For me to lose. I'll use 50/50, Regis.

Regis - Are you serious?

Zero - As serious as I'm standing here.

Regis - You're sitting down.

Zero - Precisely, Regis. I _am_ sitting down.

Regis - What a sad son-of-a-bitch you are… alright. Computer, remove one of the wrong answers. Hey! What a surprise! You're left with C.

Zero - I'm still not sure… I'd like to use 50/50, Regis.

Regis - -blank, catatonic stare-

Zero - Come on. Help me out, bruddah!

Regis - If I was related to you, I'd of committed suicide years ago. Is triple 50/50 even possible? …it is? Okay, your left with… Baby,

Same Guy From The Audience - I do!

Zero - Fine, I'll go with… C.

Regis - Thank God Almighty! Now, for $500, which madman created Zero? For your sake, I suggest you get this right. Is it A: Dr. Light. B: Dr. Wily. C: Dr. Cossack. Or D: Dr. Doolittle?

Zero - Um… B. No, C. No, I mean… D?

Regis - Aw, for -bleep-'s sake!

Zero - E?

Regis - Goddamn it!

Zero - Fine, B! Better now, Regis?

Regis - Much. That's your final answer, you're right, next question. For $1000, in which game did Megaman first appear in? A: Megaman. B: Megaman X. C: Megaman Legends. D: Megaman Zero.

Zero - E!

(Choice E pops onto the screen.)

Regis - A bag of almonds, huh?

Zero - Yeah! That game's -bleep-in' awesome!

Regis - Are you some kind of -bleep-ing retard or something!

Zero - Relax. Man! What, are you on your period or something?

Regis - You know what? I'm gonna act like you said something that sounded like A, in which case, you'd be right. Congrats, you've got at least $1000.

Zero - That's mere pocket change!

Regis - You're parents probably spent pocket change while raising you. Now, for… The hell with it! You don't deserve to be a millionaire! Answer all of the questions and I'll _consider_ giving you a McDonalds gift card.

Zero - I'm hip with that.

Regis - I'm sure you are. Question six, in Kinetikai's fanfic, Death Bologna, who is the retarded hedgie that always pops up in the weirdest places? A: Fruity. B: Tooty. C: Cooties. D: Twiggy.

Zero - Death Bologna? I'll make millions!

Regis - Sure, whatever. Just answer the damn question.

Zero - I'd like to use 'Ask The Audience'.

Regis - You heard him, audience. Please help the poor bastard.

(A few seconds go by and the results pop up.)

Regis - Apparently, nobody voted, so you're SOL.

Zero - -waving gun around- Answer the goddamn question!

(A few more seconds go by.)

Regis - After some… persuasion, 100 of the audience says that the answer is D.

Zero - Then, I'll go with B!

Regis - -blank, catatonic stare- This must be a whole new species of… -makes series of retarded noises-.

Zero - Whoa. Don't go all autistic on me or something.

Regis - You said D? Good choice. Question seven, Casper is a friendly what? A: Ghost. B: Mailman. C: Government official. (Yeah, right!) Or D: Neighborhood Spiderman.

Zero - I'll with D again.

Regis - Why must you be so stupid?

Zero - I was born with it. It's a gift.

Regis - That's nothing to be proud about. Anyways, you said A, so let's move on.

Zero - But I said…

Regis - A! I know! Good for you, retard! Question eight, Megaman is the mascot of what gaming company? A: Capital Punishment. B: Capcom. C: Capricorn. D: Microsoft.

Zero - -practicing for the Slurpee speed-drinking competition.- BRAINFREEZE! - begins squirming around on the floor-

Regis - And I thought I'd seen it all.

Zero - -stops squirming- I'll go with whatever wasn't a word. AAAHHH! -continues squirming-

Regis - That brainfreeze actually helped your brain. Imagine that. You're right. Now, question…

Zero - -still squirming- GO TO COMMERCIAL!

Regis - If you say so…

(The scene changes to two bored kids at a table.)

Kid #1 - I'm bored.

Kid #2 - Wanna go burn a cathedral down?

Kid #1 - I've already down that.

Kid #2 - How about we go plow some Africans down?

Kid #1 - I've already plowed seven down today.

Announcer - Are you tired of your average, perfectly normal routine?

Kid #1 - You bet.

Announcer - Well, now you can!

(An inflatable hammer is tossed to them.)

Kid #2 - What's this?

Singing Voices - If you're looking for some fun, 'Whack 'im In The Nuts And Run'!

Kid #1 - Looks cool, but how's it work?

Announcer - That's easy! First, go to a forest a locate a bear. Then, throw some rocks at it to piss it off. Then, do just as the name says…

Singing Voices - If you're looking for some fun, 'Whack 'im In The Nuts And Run'!

(Kid #1 whacks the bear in the nuts and begins running, leaving behind Kid #2.)

Kid #2 - My turn!

Bear - GGRRAAHH!

Kid #2 - AAAHHH!

(The bear's claw comes down and freezes halfway down towards the camera.)

Announcer - This toy is not suitable for kids or newborns, but buy it for them anyways. Your children will thank you!

(The bear's claws comes down all the way and blood splatters on the camera lens.)

Singing Voices - If you're looking for some fun, 'Whack 'im In The Nuts And Run'!

Announcer - Now available where toys or hunting equipment are sold.

(The scene changes back to Regis and his now-well-known catatonic stare.)

Regis - Who the hell made that!

(A.N. All credit for that commercial goes to Kinetikai. It was throw his demented idea of humor that that was spawned.)

Zero - Head… STILL HURTS! NEXT COMMERCIAL!

Regis - Whatever?

(The cartoon version of the Colonel pops up.)

Colonel - Over the years, KFC has brought to you many versions of chicken. Original. Crispy. Extra Crispy. Barbecue. Honey. Um… Original? Now, deep from the Colonel's secret vault comes Extra Crusty chicken! It's grandpa's old recipe! There's a little grandpa in every bite!

Grandpa - I'm magically delicious!

Announcer - Available wherever chicken or hunting equipment is sold.

(The scene goes back to Regis who immediately shudders.)

Regis - Ew.

Zero - It's wearing off! One more!

Regis - Fine.

(The scene changes to Sephiroth standing in front of the presidential banner.)

Sephiroth - Hello, I am Sephiroth. Today, Americans face many personal struggles. If you're an albino Martian like myself, then you know what I'm talking about. It is in this time of great struggle that we need a leader with vision, strength, and a gigantic frickin' sword. That is why, if you elect me, I promise, hand on heart, to strive to become the first man to save one's pubic hairs in an applesauce jar. That is all.

Announcer - Paid for in part by Sephiroth for Pres. '08.

(The scene changes back to Regis who is conversing with his therapist.)

Regis - And when I was eight, it didn't look like a wart anymore. It looked like… -notices the camera and pushes the therapist aside- Anyways, let's move on. Better?

(Regis suddenly puts on a blank, catatonic stare as everyone sees Zero holding an ice pack to his aching head.)

Regis - I didn't realize that ice bags were the cure for _brainfreeze_! Whatever. Question nine. During 9/11, some people say they saw the smoke form the shape of what ungodly figure's head? Is it…

Zero - Martha Stewart!

Regis - …A: Satan…

Zero - Bill Gates!

Regis - …B: Elvis…

Zero - Larry The Cable Guy!

Regis - …C: A lawyer…

Zero - Shaq!

Regis - …Or D: That guy behind Napoleon's Strip Club?

Zero - My final answer is… E!

Regis - Or is it E: Mr. Peanut?

(It turns out to be E and Regis has a fit.)

Regis - What? Show me the picture!

(A nearby screen shows a picture of the smoke looking exactly like Mr. Peanut.)

Regis - What the -bleep- is going on here?

Zero - I dunno.

Regis - Ugh… Question ten. Over the years, people have agreed on what is most likely the most ridiculous game in the Megaman franchise. What is it? A: Mega Man Soccer. B: Megaman X7? C: Megaman Legends? Or D: Megaman Zero?

Zero - -eye starts twitching- A…

Regis - Um… Is that you're…

Zero - Final…

Regis - Okay… You're right! Question eleven. Which of these facts are true about Hitler? A: He cross-dressed often. B: He often ordered take out from Luigi's Pizza Parlor. C: He would frequently worship his shrine to Mr. Clean. Or D: He had one testicle… Ew.

Zero - Oddly enough. I know this one. It's… A! Little cross-dressing fruit!

Regis It _was_ D, but if you say so… Question twelve. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? What the hell… Is it A: One pound. B: One quart. C: One foot. Or D; Won ton. Won ton? What the hell is this?

Zero - Mmmm… Soup… I'll go with D.

Regis - Personally, I give a shit what the answer is. Question thirteen. If the pussy kicked the ass of the cock, would the bitch intervene…

(A few seconds pass by.)

Regis - Ya wanna skip this one?

Zero - Sure.

Regis - Damn barnyard language. Anyways, question fourteen. In the upcoming game, Megaman ZX, the battle against 'Omega' is a remix of what Megaman Zero tune? A: Cannonball. B: Combustion. C: Mission Report. Or D: I Like To Move, Move It?

Zero - This party bores me. Who wants to play basketball?

Still Same Guy From The Audience - I do!

Regis - Would someone shut him up!

Same Guy From The Audience - I will! -punches himself out-

Zero - Would anybody care for some delicious pancakes?

Regis - Just answer the damn question!

Zero - That works. Well, Regis. I think I'll use 'Phone-A-Friend'.

Regis - Very well. Who'd you like to call?

Zero - You.

Regis - Pardon?

Zero - You seem to know a lot of these answers. All of them, in fact.

Regis - I… don't think I'm home right know.

Zero - -points beam saber at Regis-

Regis - Right then! Call… my house.

(A few rings are heard before someone picks up.)

Voice - Hello?

Regis - Yes, this is… Wait! What are you doing my house?

Voice - Um… Bye! -hangs up-

Regis - What the hell!

Zero - I've found my answer!

Regis - Which is?

Zero - I'm going to kill you.

Regis - I'd rather not ask why. So, now it's the million-dollar question! For you Mickey D's gift card, which of these boy bands is the shortest lasting in history? Is it A; Hanson. B: N'Sync. C: The Backstreet Boys. Or D: The Temptations?

Zero - I shall answer in a form of a joke. Hey, Regis?

Regis - Yeah?

Zero - Knock, knock.

Regis - Who's there?

Zero - Marshmallow.

Regis - Marshmallow who?

Zero - I'm going to kill you.

Regis - I do believe we've got a new champion!

(Audience applauds.)

Zero - I'll take my winnings now.

Regis - Right. Here's your McDonald's gift card. Don't spend it all in one place. I quit this job. Tune in some other time for Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!

Same Guy From The Audience - I do!

Announcer - Well, now you can!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I'm extremely apologetic about the wait. I'm just a diehard gamer catching up on some major gaming. Anyways, this is it. The final stretch. Each series has one parody left before… (Dun-dun-dun-dun-nah!) The season finale! All series will be in it and I'll be hosting. But, for now, the last X parody is of X8. I hope you'll enjoy it. I hope more that you'll forgiver me for taking so long. Until then, though, Read and Review and I'll continue!


	23. Megaman X8 Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

In this chapter, you will see something Capcom never wanted you to see. This isn't a parody of the game, but more of the auditions for the last eight Mavericks in the X series. So, here's the last X parody!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Parody #21

A Parody of Megaman X8

By: The X series

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Announcer - The following is the auditions tapes made during the early development of Megaman X8. These have been kept under wraps until I snuck in at night and used my swift ninja skills to boost it from their vaults. Please, sit back and enjoy the fruits of my labor.

(The tape starts and people put a desk down in front of Zero, who's sitting. X stands next to him.)

X - Thanks, guys.

(The workers nod and leave.)

Zero - I still don't see why I had to cut my hair.

X - That doesn't matter. This is the last game, so let's make this count.

Zero - Let's do this! First audition please!

_Audition #1 - Raging Rock_

(A man walks in a places a rock in front of them. Then, he leaves. The rock sits there for a few seconds.)

Zero - Okay, n…

Rock - Wait! I haven't shown you my special move yet!

(X and Zero exchange glances.)

X - Okay…

(The rock sits there for a few more seconds.)

Rock - I call it 'Rock Solid Defenses'.

Zero - And I call it 'Not A Chance In Hell'. Next!

_Audition #12 - Flapjack Pandamonium_

Zero - Okay, first off, I hate your name. Change it.

Flapjack - Of course!

X - What did you do before this?

Flapjack - Comedy.

(Bamboo (or Flapjack) Pandamonium is on a stage as crickets chirp.)

Flapjack - So… Um… Hi…

(Silence follows.)

Flapjack - How's everyone tonight?

(More silence follows. Suddenly, a flaming bottle of booze is thrown on stage, igniting Pandamonium. He begins dancing around and everyone starts cheering.)

X - …

Zero - …

Flapjack - …so… Am I in?

X - I… guess… Change your name though.

Flapjack - Of course! -drinks tea from a cup _much_ smaller than his hand-

Zero - One more thing, please stop that.

_Audition #25 - The Cast of Sesame Street_

Zero - Why the -bleep- are you here?

Ernie - He said a naughty word!

X - So?

Cookie Monster - Cookie!

Zero - Look. You two… -points at Burt and Ernie- …are gay with each other, Bid Bird's too big, Cookie Monster has an addition to chocolate, and Grover got an addiction to making friends. All in all, you've got three seconds to get lost before…

Grover - Before what!

(A hole is blown in the wall and all eyes turn to where Ernie once stood.)

The Sesame Street Fruits - Run away!

_Audition #47 - French Croissant_

Zero - -sigh- Scenario time. One of us walks into the room. What's your first action when you see us?

Croissant - I surrender!

X - Why am I not surprised?

_Audition #50 - N'Sync_

Zero - Amusing, but no.

N'Sync - Totallllllllllllyyyyyyyy… Not groovy!

Zero - Should you kill them or should I?

_Audition #87 - Tomato Tamato_

X - Yeah… You're last name is the same as you first one.

Tamato - Ah, but it is not!

Zero - Yeah. It is.

Tamato - No, it's not.

X - Yes, it is.

Tamato - You annoy me.

Zero - Bye then.

_Audition #88 Potato Patato_

Zero - Aw, give me a -bleep-ing break!

_Audition #99 - Papa Roach_

Zero - Nice of you stop by, Mr. Roach, but we had a roach in the original game.

Papa Roach - No, you didn't!

Zero - Boomerang Kuwanger.

Papa Roach - He wasn't a roach. He was a kuwanger!

Zero - Ugh.

_Audition #100 - Axl_

Zero - Get the hell out of here, Axl.

Axl - Sorry.

_Audition #112 - Playboy Bunny_

(Zero is surrounded by three Playboy bunnies as X just slowly steps back.)

Zero - Oh, yeah. I'm a lady's man!

_Audition #134 - Mad Cow_

(A robotic is tearing a punching bag to pieces with its' mouth. X and Zero are crouched behind the desk peeking over the of it.)

X - Help, please.

_Audition #150 - Sigma_

X - HI.

Sigma - Hi.

Zero - Sigma…

Sigma - Zero…

X - X!

(Zero just gives X 'that look'.)

Zero - You've been the final boss in every X game save Command Mission. Why are you here?

Sigma - You mean this isn't Sexaholics Anonymous?

(X and Zero suddenly shudder with extreme force.)

Sigma - Apparently, not… -leaves-

_Audition #167 - Heihachi_

Heihachi - -takes battle stance-

Zero - Um…

(Heihachi punches a wall in half and Zero gets into a fight with him.)

_Audition #189 - Nighttime O'Possum_

Zero - Hello?

(O'Possum is playing dead on the ground.)

X - Are you okay?

O'Possum - -thinking- _Just play dead and they won't notice…_

_Audition #199 - Gigavolt Man-O-War_

Zero - So…

Man-O-War - Beaver breath!

X - What?

Man-O-War - Peppermint!

Zero - One more time?

Man-O-War - Love fish!

X - Um…

Man-O-War - Yay, ADHD! -begins wildly flying around the room- Poopy monkey! Poopy monkey!

X - Help! Please!

_Audition #200 - Axl (again)_

Zero - Axl…

Axl - You mean this is Sexaholics Anonymous?

X - Ew. And I mean that with a capital 'Ew'.

_Audition #231 - Educated Redneck_

X - So, you're powers?

Redneck - Well, I can count to ten. I can count to thirteen, but I'll have to take my pants off.

X - Please don…

Redneck - One… Two… Four…

Zero - Security, quick! Before he reaches eleven!

Redneck - Five… Uh… Seven!

Zero - QUICKLY!

_Audition #254 - Squeaky Squeakers_

Zero - -looking down at Pikachu- Nintendo would have our asses. So, unfortunately, no.

_Audition - #268 - Hydro Pumpernickel_

Zero - Cute. Get lost.

Pumpernickel - Oh…

_Audition #289 - Snake Man_

X - What the…

Snake Man - Please, you've got to help me! I've been out of work since the Indiana Jones parody!

Zero - So?

Snake Man - SAVE ME!

_Audition #299 - The Guy With The 'Sh' Accent_

Zero - Unusual name, Mr. Sh.

'Sh' Man - Do you mind if I shit on this couch?

X - What! Yes, we mind!

'Sh' Man - What's with shitting on a couch made for shitting in the shitty shitty?

Zero - Dude, you've got issues.

_Audition #300 - Old Man Jenkins_

Zero - Uh…

(An old man sits on the couch, sleeping.)

Zero - Get him out of here.

_Audition #326 - They Call Me 'The Z'_

Zero - For the twenty-sixth time… NO!

_Audition #417 - Axl (yet again)_

Zero - Axl… This is what? The fifth time you've been here?

Axl - Come on, guys! I want to be in the game!

Zero - …

X - …

Axl - What?

Zero - YOU'RE ALREADY IN THE -BLEEP-ING GAME!

Axl - I am? Cool. See ya!

_Audition #389 - …wait a sec…_

Zero - How's that supposed to work out?

_Audition #450 - Martha Stewart_

Zero - What… the hell…

Martha - First, you bast the turkey. Then, you smack it across someone's face… like so! -smacks Zero with turkey-

Zero - It's on bitch!

_Audition #478 - Weedin' Dandelion_

Zero - Ya wanna call it quits after five-hundred?

X - Sure.

Dandelion - Dude, I like so don't know what's goin' on right now…

Zero - Next!

_Audition #499 - Santa Claus_

Zero - Let's move this on. I've got somewhere to go.

Santa - You've been very nice this year, Zero. Sit on my lap and tell Santa what you want for Christmas.

(Zero sighs and sits on his lap.)

Zero - I'd like a visit from Death.

_Audition #500 - Lumine_

Zero - You look like a girl.

Lumine - Well, I'm not.

Zero - Prove it.

(Lumine begins dancing like a drunk redneck.)

Zero - Whatever. You're in. It's not like you're going to be the final boss or anything…

(Everyone slowly looks to the camera, which becomes staticky.)

Announcer - This has been the never-before-released auditions for Megaman X8. And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to borrow a few thousands dollars from the bank.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Well? It's not much, but the season finale will be worth it. Anyways, the final Classic parody will be of the movie, Sparticus. I think you'll enjoy it. But, until then, Read and Review and I'll continue!


	24. Dr No Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

To be truly honest, I don't know where to begin. First off, I made the gags for Sparticus. It took three days. Then, when I was about to convert them to my computer (I made them on my friend's), the computer konks out and won't start up again. I was hoping to wait it out, but now it looks like it won't be up again anytime soon. So, to my extreme displeasure, I am postponing the Sparticus parody to a later date. For now, I'll replace it with a nice parody of 007's first movie, Dr. No. So, please forgive this sudden change and here's the last Classic parody!!

* * *

Parody #22

A Parody of Dr. No

By: The Classic series

* * *

(In the opening sequence, Bubbleman goes to walk past the camera, but spins and shoots it. When nothing happens, he starts, then shoots twice more. He walks up to the camera and shoots three more clips into the camera. Nothing happens. He throws his arms in the air and walks away. The scene changes to the outside of a country club. As man walks out of club, Toadman, Ringman, and Metalman open fire on him.)

Man - Oh my God!!" -runs off-

Metalman - What?! How is he alive? We shot him five times. Wait… What happened to Fred?

(The camera shows Toadman with five bullet wounds in him, including his own. Later, in a country house, Kalinka is on a communicator.

Kalinka - Russian Whore to Flying Debris. Russian Whore to Flying Debris. How do you read me? Over.

Operator - This is Flying Debris, London. Go ahead, Russian Whore.

Kalinka - I'd like three Big Macs, two apple pies, and… -gets shot-

(The scene changes to a casino where Bubbleman and Roll are playing card games.)

Bubbleman - I admire your courage, Miss…

Starman - Tooty. Fruity Tooty. In the booty!

Bubbleman - Yeah…

Starman - And I admire your luck, Mister…

Bubbleman - Pond. Jack Pond.

(Later, Bubbleman walks into Roll's office. Bubbleman attempts to toss his hat onto the rack, but it passes the rack and hits an old man on the head.)

Old Man - Agh!

(Bubbleman learns about his assignment and returns to his apartment. Bubbleman busts open the door and Starman serves a golf ball that flies into his face.)

Bubbleman - AH! Sweet Jesus!!

(Bubbleman recovers and stands up.)

Bubbleman - You picked the wrong moment for this. I need to leave as soon as possible.

Starman - When did you say you had to leave?

Bubbleman - Immediately.

Starman - When did you…

Bubbleman - This instant!!

(Later, after being chased by car, Bubbleman gets in a fight with Heatman. However, Bubbleman gets his ass kicked. Heatman kills himself and Bubbleman returns to the hotel. In its, instead of taking a hair from his head, Bubbleman reaches into his pants and grunts. He then puts his pubic hair and sticks it to the wall.)

Bubbleman - Easy as pie.

(After meeting Bass, Plantman takes a picture of Bubbleman and Brightman. Bass grabs Plantman's hand and begins walking towards the bar.)

Plantman - You're hurting me! You're still hurting me! You're…

Bass - Say I'm hurting you one more time and I'll rip this arm off.

(When Dr. Light enters the empty room, he walks around briefly.)

Intercom Sparkman - Sit down.

Light - As you command, God.

Intercom Sparkman - I'm not God.

Bass - If you say so, God.

Intercom Sparkman - I'm going to kill you if you call me God again.

Bass - As you wish, God.

(After returning to his apartment, Bubbleman goes to the closet. Now, their is an entire mass of pubic hairs sticking out of the door's cracks. That night, Bubbleman sees something crawling up his leg. It turns out to be a hand. Bubbleman turns to see Frostman.)

Frostman - I had a great time tonight.

(Bubbleman screams and wakes up. He looks under the covers.)

Bubbleman - Oh, thank God! It's just a tarantula. -goes back to sleep-

(The next day, Bubbleman goes to Kalinka's apartment.)

Bubbleman - Wait. I thought you were dead.

Kalinka - Double roles.

Bubbleman - Oh…

Kalinka - You've got no mouth.

Bubbleman - So?

Kalinka - I guess we'll have to skip the sex scene.

(Every male on the set screams like a little girl, cracking the camera lens. That night, Dr. Light walks in and shoots the lump in the bed six times. Bubbleman sits up.)

Bubbleman - What gives?! I'm trying to sleep here!!

(Bubbleman shoots Dr. Light in the head. The next morning, Bubbleman meets Roll.)

Bubbleman - Double role? Excuse the pun.

Roll - Yeah. And no, I won't.

(Moments later, the boat is sighted.)

Bubbleman - Don't worry about those now. Are they valuable?

Roll - This one's worth fifty dollars in Miami. Fifty. Promise you won't tell anyone?

Bubbleman - Promise.

(Bass runs up.)

Bass - Hey, Jack! I came to see that fifty dollar shell you told me about.

(Bubbleman shrugs innocently. After the machine gun scene, everyone gets ready to leave.)

Bubbleman - Quick! Leave the things you don't need. Like clothes.

(Roll smacks Bubbleman.)

Bubbleman - Point proven Keep the clothes.

(That night, the 'dragon' starts to come closer.)

Bass - All right, captain. If it's not a dragon, what is it?

Bubbleman - It's a tank. When it gets within range…

(The Mech Dragon stomps within view of them.)

Bubbleman - Oh… It is a dragon… Well, we're pretty screwed right now.

(In the base, Roll and Bubbleman go through the chemical shower. When Roll finishes, she poses and everyone takes a picture. When Bubbleman finishes, he too poses.)

Scientist #1 - What the hell…

Scientist #2 - Is that a raisin?

Scientist #3 - It looks like a prune.

(Bubbleman gets that pissed-off look and gives it to everyone in the room. Later, Bubbleman and Roll are in their cell.)

Roll - I feel so…" -passes out-

Bubbleman - Damn coffee!

(Bubbleman goes to throw his coffee on the ground, but finishes drinking it. Then, he throws it on the ground and shoves the tray onto its' side. He flips the bed, knocks over a lamp, pulls out Roll's underwear drawer, and dumps the contents on his head before passing out. After talking with Sparkman and going through the tubes, Bubbleman drops down from the ceiling. Yamatoman removes his uniform as Bubbleman taps on his shoulder. Bubbleman punches Yamatoman out and spits on his body.)

Bubbleman - Nighty night, mother -bleep-er!

(Instead of 'Abandon Area', the sign in the radioactive area says 'Run Like Hell, Bitch!'. Later, when Sparkman is on his back and the radioactive water is rising, Sparkman lays perfectly still.)

Sparkman - Screw this! I can't climb onto my feet using a pole if I don't have hands. I don't even have arms! I've got lances!!

(Later, in the middle of the ocean, Bubbleman lets go of the rope.)

Roll - Why'd you do that? We can't make out! No mouth and whatnot.

(Bubbleman looks up and jumps in the water. He begins swimming wildly towards the rope as Roll scoffs.)

Roll - Some Bubble-07 agent…

* * *

Well, it's not what I'd originally intended to do, but I must adapt to crap like this happening. In the final Legends parody, the cast makes fun of what the National Film Association calls one of the top five greatest movies of all time. Needless, to say, this an offer you truly cannot refuse. Until then, Read and Review 'cause the season finale's just around the corner!! 


	25. The Godfather Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

In this chapter, the Legends cast makes fun of what the National Film Association calls one of the top five greatest movies of all time. I'm going to get out of your way, so here's the last Legends parody!!

* * *

Parody #23

A Parody of The Godfather

By: The Legends series

* * *

(The Godfather is played by Data, whose head pokes out of a fine suit. If place of hands, broom handles come out of the sleeves. Shoes are taped onto the pant legs. Teasel walks up to Data.)

Data - What do you want me to do?

Teasel - I want you to take your pants off and do a little dance.

Data - That I cannot do.

(As Teasel walks out, Data looks around.)

Data - That stupid fool made me hungry. Bring me a baby.

(At the wedding, the music stops at one point.)

Announcer - And now, we have a very special musical guest. May I present… Jimmy 'Two Bread' Vertobi!

(A Servbot steps onto the stage and starts singing as music starts.)

Servbot - -clears throat- All Italians suck! All Italians suck! We all know how much Italians blow, 'cause all Italians suck!

(The music stops.)

Servbot - Thank you!

(Instead of applauding, everyone at the wedding pulls out a gun and begins shooting at the Servbot. As he's being destroyed, one band mate turns to the other.)

Band Mate - Y'know, if I was him, I would have probably opened up with another number.

(When the photographer takes a picture of a bunch of people, a Servbot points to him. Two others bring over the film and he crumbles it up. He points to the man and they crumble him up like film. Later, The pastry chef pleads to the Godfather.)

Pastry Chef - Thank you! Thank you! Wait 'til you see the cake I'm making for your daughter's wedding! It's shaped like a pair of big titties! You like titties, don't you? Of course you do! See ya later!

(As he shuts the door you hear him yell 'TITTIES!!' Later, in enclosed room.)

Random Man - Data Corleone, I will go piss my pants now because my bladder is full.

Data - Thanks for the info.

Random Man - You are welcomed.

(Outside, Barrell goes up to the microphone and begins singing in German. When Glyde gets up on stage, the girls begin screaming.)

Random Fangirl - OMYGOD!!! He's looking at me!

(One of the girls' head's explodes. Minutes later, in an enclosed room…)

Random Person - It can't be done. Shooting starts in a week.

Data - I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse. Two tickets to see Appo and Dah in concert, a commemorative tote bag, and a gun to his face. No one can refuse that offer.

(After taking the group photo, the photographer gets his head torn off by a Servbot.)

Data - No! No! We ordered that picture!

Servbot - Oh. Sorry.

(He takes a dollar bill out and throws it on the corpse. Later, Wily, the fisherman from the first game, wakes up and looks in his bed. A Servbot's head lays there.)

Wily - Oh, it's just you.

(Wily lays back down, then gets back up.)

Wily - Wait…

(He further removes his sheets and finds a head of lettuce in his bed.)

Wily - AAAAHHHH!!!!!

(A person brings in flowers and a pony.)

Data - What's this?

Random Person - It's from Johnny, doing that movie thing.

Data - Okay. Take the flowers away but leave the pony. Come here, pony.

(The door shuts. Elsewhere, a bartender pats a man's arm before stabbing down. It turns out that it stabbed between his fingers. The bartender continuously tries to stab the man's hand, but always stabs between the fingers. Eventually, he shoots him. In the fruit market, two gunmen run towards Data.)

Data - Blar! Fruit!

(Data throws the fruit in their faces and runs off. A few hours later, an informant walks in Megaman's house.)

Informant - Word on the street is that They're making a seventh Star Wars.

(Megaman picks him up and slams him against the wall.)

Megaman - Say it isn't so! I hate Star Wars!

(Later, two men are talking.)

Man #1 - He's dead. He's dead and nothing can bring him back. Except, of course, the imprisonment of Michael Jackson, Cher's latest album hits the top five, and the death of each one of those Rolling Stone bastards.

Man #2 - None of that will happen. You know that.

Man #1 - That's why I said 'nothing can bring him back'.

(Later, a package is handed to Megaman. He opens it up and there is a small french-fry on the inside.)

Megaman - What the hell is this?

Messenger - It means Luca is a short fry. Oh, this came in too.

(The messenger puts a fish on top of the fry.)

Messenger - It means Luca smells bad.

(Later, Juno walks out of the bathroom and points his finger at Von Bleucher.)

Juno - Blam!

(A bullet hole appears in his head and he falls over, dead. Juno turns to Barrell.)

Juno - Blam! Blam!

(A bullet hole appears in his throat, then his head. He too falls over dead. A few weeks later, while taking Data upstairs, a kid punches Lex Loath in the chest. He flies through the wall. Even more later, Megaman walks downstairs after making out with Tron.)

Megaman - Come on. We've got to pick up my sister.

(Everyone gets into the car and sits there for a few minutes.)

Megaman - Well, we're here.

(Megaman gets out and reenters the room.)

(A.N. I know. That was creepy, but my evil side said 'You've got to put this!' I turned to my good side and he said 'He's right. You've got to put this!')

(When kids are playing in the water, a Servbot walks up and begins beating the shit out of some random person. During this time, an old lady continuously yells, 'Use the chair! Lay the smackdown on him!' Later, Sera begins throwing a fit. Megaman takes off his belt and makes a loop.)

Megaman - Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this!

(In Sicily…)

Yuna - Wait there. I'll drive to you.

(Juno goes to walk towards the car.)

Juno - NO!!

(The car explodes and Juno looks at the wreckage.)

Juno - At least the fire's pretty.

(Later, In Vegas…)

Random Person - Are you sure 'cause he never said anything about selling the business.

Juno - Don't worry. I'll make him an offer he can't refuse. A chance to gut Bill Gates, a partridge in a pear tree, and a rattlesnake in his pants. No one can turn that offer down.

(As Data chases a Servbot, he stops and puts a hand to his chest.)

Data - Curse you, Burger King! You and your cholesterol-filled food!

(He falls over and the Servbot keeps playing.)

Data - You stupid piece of shit… -dies-

(Later, Von Bleucher has a man killed.)

Juno - I said I wasn't going to kill you. It doesn't mean that I wasn't going to have you killed.

(Juno cracks his neck.)

Juno - Man, it's good to be the Don.

(A Servbot walks up and whispers in his ear.)

Juno - What?! He's not dead!

(Juno turns to the dead man.)

Juno - Sorry. Gotta go. Unfinished business.

* * *

Yeah, there was a lot of 'random person' uses in that chapter, mainly because I had trouble keeping track of people. Oh well. Next time, the Zero series makes fun of Jeopardy, and after that… Well, you'll see… Until then, Read and Review and I'll continue!! 


	26. Jeopardy Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

In this chapter, the Zero cast will be testing their wits against one another. Let's just say that part of this was inspired by Celebrity Jeopardy from Saturday Night Live. So, here's the last Zero parody!!

* * *

Parody #24

A Parody of Jeopardy

By: The Zero series

* * *

Announcer - This. Is. Jeopardy! Here are today's contestants! It's a bird. No, it's a plane! No, it's just some robot in a green jumpsuit…

Harpuia - Excuse me? This isn't a jumpsuit.

Announcer - …Harpuia! He's rough. He's tough. He's got an IQ of three…

Fefnir - Excuse me! Do you want to die?

Announcer - Fefnir! And, she's a hot chick who I would love to get all up in…

Leviathan - Excuse me.

Announcer - Leviathan! And, here's your ho… GAH!!

(Leviathan strangles the announcer, who is Phantom, and returns back to her seat.)

Leviathan - Zero. I think…

(Zero walks out dressed in a suit.)

Zero - Hi. How ya doing? We got contestants. We've got prizes. We've got questions. Let's do this. The category's are… The Maverick War. Failed Robot Masters. The Digger's Dictionary. Reasons Why Zero Sucks Ass. Excuse me…

(Zero goes backstage and, suddenly, the category changes to 'Reasons Why The Cameraman Got Killed By Zero'. Zero walks back out.)

Zero - And… Reasons Why Zero Is So Cool. I like that one. Leviathan. You're the hottest one here, aside from me, so you go first. Might I suggest the last one?

Leviathan - Egotistical piece of shit. I'll take Failed Robot Masters for $200.

Zero - Fine… This Robot Master was the first of its' kind.

(A long silence follows before Fefnir buzzes in.)

Fefnir - What is 'Imdawo'.

Zero - I'm sorry. It is not Imdawo Man.

Fefnir - But you are, Zero. -laughs-

Zero - I don't know what just happened. The answer was Cutman. Ah dur! Leviathan, you're choice.

Leviathan - I'll take Reasons for $300.

Zero - This is one reason why Zero killed the cameraman.

(Leviathan buzzes in.)

Leviathan - What is he couldn't find anyone else.

Zero - Exactly! You choose again.

Leviathan - I'll take Reasons Why Zero Is So Awesome for $400.

Zero - Fine with me. This is one reason why Zero is so awesome.

(Harpuia buzzes in.)

Harpuia - I'm gonna go out on a limb and say 'What is he is number one'.

Zero - That is an acceptable answer. I am, in fact, number one. I am only number two under Keiji Inafune, who made me.

Fefnir - So, that's how you were made! -laughs harder-

Zero - I hate my life. Okay, Harpuia, your call.

Harpuia - Give me The Maverick War for $500.

Zero - This is the only Maverick to have a one-word name.

(A long silence follows before Leviathan buzzes in.)

Leviathan - Can I have a hint?

(Zero grabs his hair and clenches his fists while trying not to explode.)

Fefnir - Don't pop a vein and have an ulcer, Zero! -laughs­-

Zero - You know what?! Fine! Let's move to Final Jeopardy. The category is… Screw the category! Just write a word. I don't give a damn what word it is! Just write a word. Make my life easier. Please!

(The Jeopardy theme starts and stops. Zero walks up to Leviathan.)

Zero - Well, what did you write? You wrote…

(A large scribble appears on the blue screen.)

Zero - You wrote… scribble. You wagered…

(The wager appears.)

Zero - Smaller scribble. Doesn't matter though. I'm more into looks than smarts.

Leviathan - Move along, asswipe.

Zero - Skank.

Leviathan - Excuse me…

Zero - Skunk.

(Zero points to a skunk that appears out of nowhere.)

Leviathan - I'll be watching you.

Zero - You do that.

(Zero walks to Harpuia.)

Zero - You wrote…

(Two eyes appear on the blue screen.)

Zero - Eyes. You drew eyes. You wagered…

(The wager appears.)

Zero - 'I will watch you until the day you die…'

(Zero looks at Leviathan, who shrugs innocently. Zero shakes his head and goes to Fefnir, who smiles innocently.)

Zero - I wouldn't trust you if my life depended on it. I am, of course, just saying that because my life _does_ depend on it, so I have to. What did you come up with. You wrote…

('Up' appears on the blue screen.)

Zero - My God… You're not as stupid as I thought you were. You wagered…

('Yours' appears on the blue screen. Fefnir begins laughing maniacally as Zero walks off.)

Zero - You're so witty. That's all for this episode. Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to put my saber through my face. Good night!

* * *

It's arrived! In the season finale, all four series come together to test their wits against an anonymous opponent. Until then, Read and Review and I'll continue!! 


	27. Season Finale

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

This is it! The season finale! I'm not even going to bug you! Just read!!

* * *

Parody #25

Season Finale

A Parody of The Weakest Link

By: The X, Classic, Legends, and Zero series

* * *

Announcer - Welcome to The Weakest Link! Here are tonight's contestants:

Megaman - I am Megaman and I whoop ass.

Wily - I am Wily and I won't stop until the world is mine!

X - I am X and I'm a Maverick Hunter.

Sigma - I'm Sigma and I'm a Maverick.

Trigger - I am Megaman Voulnut and I… have… a monkey?

Data - I am Data… -in demonic tone- …and I am his monkey!

(The camera goes back to Trigger, who shrugs. The camera continues going down the line.)

Zero - I am Zero and I am suffering from amnesia. Or… am I?

Omega - I am Omega and I am a cheap rip-off of X. Okay, will someone please kill the teleprompter man?

(All eyes turn to Frost Man, who is smoking Wood Man. Ring Man is sitting next to him.)

Ring Man - Don't look at us.

(All eyes turn to Phantom.)

Phantom - For king and country!

(Phantom flies over and stabs the teleprompter man to death. He strikes a victory pose and the teleprompter falls on him.)

Announcer - Whatever! And I'm your host…

(The camera turns to the host.)

Megaman - Meeeee! Megaman from the Battle Network series! Hi and welcome to the season finale of The Random Megaman Parody Show. From here on, I'll be known as…

Mega Man.EXE - …Mega Man.EXE as to avoid any confusion between me and the classic Megaman. Now, here's how this is going to go. I'm going to ask you high school dropouts two questions each about Megaman or Capcom. Every time someone is eliminated, the stupid level will go down.

Sigma - What about the money?

Zero - -scoffs- What money? You aren't an ass-chin. You're a dumbass-chin!

Sigma - I… am not… an ass-chin!!

Mega Man.EXE - Of course you're not! So, let's begin! We'll start with Megaman. The original Megaman was supposed to feature eight bosses, but the game's size became an issue. Name the Robot Master Keiji Inafune mentioned that he'd wanted in that game.

Megaman - Water Man.

Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Bond Man. Wily, true or false. The Legends series is connected to the X series.

Wily - False.

Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. True. X, name the Robot Master who had an alternate level music based on Ghosts N' Ghouls.

X - Shade Man.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Sigma, what two tunes was the final boss tune of Megaman X6 made from?

Sigma - My first form tune from X1 and X2.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Trigger, Slash Man has two weaknesses. Scorch Wheel is one. Name the other.

Trigger - Huh?

Mega Man.EXE - No. Freeze Cracker.

Trigger - You're a cracker! Ass cracker…

Mega Man.EXE - Whatever. Data, why do you always do the monkey?

Data - Because I'm hyper, I have ADD, and I start each day with a bowl of sugar and a piece of crack the size of a small dog's head!

Mega Man.EXE - Works for me. Zero, name the band the X5 Mavericks were named after.

Zero - Guns N' Roses.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Omega, why do you look like X?

Omega - What kind of question is that?

Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Megaman, what did the final level in Megaman 2 lack?

Megaman - Music.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Wily, what happens when you hit Metal Man with his own weapon?

Wily - Half of his health is depleted.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. A robot made of metal, uses metal, and is weak against metal? That's the way to make a robot, Wily. Dumbass…

Wily - I heard that.

Mega Man.EXE - Of course you did. X, Devil May Cry was originally intended to be what?

X - A new Resident Evil.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Sigma, Why did Capcom make your ass-chin so big?

Sigma - Fuck off.

Mega Man.EXE - Not good enough. Trigger, one of Zero's weapons in X8 is K Knuckle. What does K stand for?

Trigger - Carnival? With a K?

Mega Man.EXE - No. Kaiser. Data, name the only X game to make a reference to the Legends series.

Data - X5.

Mega Man.EXE - You're not as dumb as you look. Zero, Neon Tiger's stage is a slowed-down, SNES version of a song by what band?

Zero - Aerosmith?

Mega Man.EXE - No, you stupid ass. Guns N' Roses. Omega, why do you look like X?

Omega - You asked me that already.

Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. And thus the first round is over. The only ones to get both questions right were Data and X. Omega and Trigger, being idiots, got none of theirs right.

Omega - It was the same question asked twice!

Mega Man.EXE - Excuses. Now, who donated their brain to science… and got it sent back? It's time to choose who you think is… the weakest link.

(Everyone votes.)

Mega Man.EXE - Now, reveal you're votes. Who did you vote for?

Megaman - I voted for Omega.

Wily - I voted for Trigger.

X - Omega.

Sigma - Trigger.

Trigger - Trigger. Wait…

Data - The infidels!

Mega Man.EXE - That wasn't a choice, but whatever floats your boat…

Zero - Omega.

Omega - I knew this was going to happen, so I voted for myself.

Mega Man.EXE - You do realize that you could've just voted Trigger off, but because you are an idiot, you've eliminated yourself, right?

(Omega thinks for a second.)

Omega - SON OF A…

(A trapdoor opens and Omega falls in.)

Omega - BIIIIIIIIIITCH!!

Mega Man.EXE - I'm sorry, but you are the weakest link. Goodbye. Ah! I can feel the stupid leaving the room.

X - Actually, I just turned the fan on.

Mega Man.EXE - If you say so… Now, the next round is the same as the first, but Omega's questions have been removed. Now, let's play! Megaman, before the Nova Strike was introduced in X5, a similar move was in X4. Name that move.

Megaman - It was still the Nova Strike.

Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. The Nova _Dash_. Now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a total dipshit. Wily, which Classic series game had the weapons set up so that, following weaknesses, a loop of three Robot Masters was made?

Wily - Megaman 7.

Mega Man.EXE - No. Megaman 3. X, name the unusual robot who absorbs the bosses from the previous game in Megaman 3.

X - Doc Man.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Sigma, the robots created by the Bonnes are named in what language?

Sigma - Australian!

Mega Man.EXE - Good God, you're retarded. No, it was German.

Sigma - That was my second guess.

Mega Man.EXE - I figured you'd say that. Trigger, in Megaman: Maverick Hunter X, Dr. Cain does what, something he did not do in the SNES games?

Trigger - He dies.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Data, why does Vile look like Boba Fett?

Data - Who cares? Someone should use him in a Star Wars parody.

Mega Man.EXE - My sentiments exactly. Zero, why does Lumine talk like a girl, but is somehow a guy?

Zero - One word; transvestite.

Mega Man.EXE - One word: correct. Megaman, in Megaman X: Command Mission, Ninetails is the leader of what?

Megaman - The Tail Clan.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Wily, will you ever realize you can't beat Megaman?

Wily - No! I'll never give up!

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. X, why do you look like X?

X - What?

Mega Man.EXE - Sorry, that was one of Omega's questions. -tosses card aside- Name the character who mysteriously disappears in between X6 and X7.

X - Dynamo.

Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Gate.

X - Gate died.

Mega Man.EXE - Or did he? -gets weird look in his eye-

X - He's dead. I killed him.

Mega Man.EXE - Then, I guess you're right! Sigma, what is Infinity Mijinion?

Sigma - A small fry.

Mega Man.EXE - No, a water flea. Trigger, true or false. Glyde is so weak, I could beat him with nothing but my toenail clippings.

Trigger - True.

Glyde - Hey.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct.

Glyde - Hey!

Mega Man.EXE - Hay is for horses. Are you a horse? You sure look like one.

Glyde - Uncalled for!

Mega Man.EXE - Sissy. Data, on a scale of one to ten, how cool am I?

Data - 2.

Mega Man.EXE - I was thinking 10, but that's close enough! Zero, name the third Megaman Legends game.

Zero - Megaman Legends 2.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. The Misadventures of Tron Bonne was the second. That ends round two and X, Trigger, Data, and Zero are all not idiots. As for the rest of you, I'm not so sure. Who's roller coaster never made the loop? It's time to choose… the weakest link.

(Everyone votes.)

Mega Man.EXE - It's time to reveal your votes.

Megaman - I voted for Sigma.

Wily - Sigma.

X - Sigma.

Sigma - Sig… uh… Data.

Trigger - Sigma.

Data - Sigma.

Zero - Sigma.

Mega Man.EXE - Ouch. Unanimous decision.

Sigma - Screw all of you! Screw you to hell!

(A trapdoor opens and Sigma falls into a hole.)

Mega Man.EXE - X, why did you vote for Sigma?

X - No one wants an ass-chin around.

Mega Man.EXE - Excellent answer! You win the contents of Sigma's wallet! Time for round three. Let's play! Megaman, name the online parody of Megaman.

Megaman - Someone made an online parody of me?

Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Stinkoman.

Megaman - _That's_ original.

Mega Man.EXE - Wily, name the final boss tune from the Classic series that has been used in more games than any other.

Wily - Megaman 7.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. X, name the first Megaman game to feature weaknesses.

X - The original Megaman.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Trigger, name the first Megaman game to feature a final boss theme separate from the fortress boss theme.

Trigger - The original Megaman.

Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Megaman 4. Data, name the first Megaman game to feature an intro stage.

Data - Megaman 7.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Zero, the Stardroids, including Terra, Saturn, and Sunstar, are all robots from what Megaman game?

Zero - Megaman 4.

Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Megaman IV.

Zero - That's what I said.

Mega Man.EXE - But you didn't say it in Roman Numerals as they did for the Gameboy games. Megaman…

Zero - What?

Mega Man.EXE - ,,,name the first fortress boss from the first Megaman on the Gameboy.

Zero - What kind of shit is that?

Megaman - Enker.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct.

Zero - Speaking in Roman Numerals… Honestly!

Mega Man.EXE - Shut up or I'll activate the trapdoor. Wily, what's the easiest way to defeat Enker?

Wily - Shoot him with Fire Storm.

Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Continuously shoot him. He absorbs the shots, draining his life, before throwing them back at you, which also takes health, in a vertical wave-like form.

Wily - That's nice.

Mega Man.EXE - It is, isn't it? X, name the single-eyed enemies who stick to walls in Megaman for Gameboy.

X - Suzy.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Trigger, in the first Megaman for Gameboy, you face four Robot Masters before going through the two fortress levels. Name one of the four Robot Masters you face before Enker.

Trigger - Elecman.

Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Choices were Bubbleman, Quickman, Flashman, or Heatman. You fight different Robot Masters the second time 'round. Data, on a scale from 1 to 10, how cool are you?

Data - 2. I mean…

Mega Man.EXE - Correct.

Data - Asshole.

Mega Man.EXE - Monkey sunnavabitch. Zero, in the original Megaman, you fight a large blob that takes the shape of a person. What is this blob's name?

Zero - The Yellow Devil.

Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. The technical name is the Bio-Devil, due to its' different forms, shapes, and colors. Round three's over and Trigger's a moron again. Who's IQ is equal to their shoe size? It's time to choose… the weakest link.

(Everyone votes.)

Mega Man.EXE - Reveal your votes now.

Megaman - Wily.

Wily - Megaman.

X - Wily.

Trigger - Data.

Zero - Wily.

Mega Man.EXE - Wily, you're time is up.

Wily - I'll never die!!

(Wily falls into a trapdoor.)

Mega Man.EXE - Let's begin round four! Megaman, Quickman was based off of what Megaman 1 boss?

Megaman - I'd have to say Elecman, lightning and speed and whatnot.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. X, name one of the three bosses in the X series to feature Flame in their name.

X - Hyenard.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Stag and Mammoth were the others. Trigger, in the original Megaman Legends, one of the earliest bosses is the Marlwolf. What does Marlwolf mean?

Trigger - Easy to beat?

Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Mole. Data, what word describes the beginning of Megaman Legends 2 when Trigger grabs Roll's ass?

Data - Godsend?

Mega Man.EXE - Correct.

Roll - Pervert!

(Mega Man.EXE pauses briefly to execute several vulgar thrusts in Roll's direction before continuing.)

Mega Man.EXE - Zero, Ciel and Alouette are names based from what language?

Zero - Spanish?

Mega Man.EXE - No, numb-nuts. It's French. Megaman, Iceman is weak against lightning because of what?

Megaman - I dunno.

Mega Man.EXE - His superconductivity. Read the manga. X, name one of the two Mavericks that have three-word names.

X - Metal Shark Player

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Axle The Red is the other. Trigger, how many Servbots are there?

Trigger - One… Two… Three…

Mega Man.EXE - No counting!

Trigger - Fine! Um… A lot?

Mega Man.EXE - Meh. It works. Data, how was Trigger named?

Data - Roll named him after her favorite game.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Zero, D Glaive is a type of staff referred to as a what?

Zero - A glaive?

Mega Man.EXE - No. A nobanaga. It is a staff with a blade at one end. That ends round four and X and Data are once again the smartest of the dumbest. Who here has difficulty spelling one-letter words? It's time to vote off… the weakest link.

(Everyone votes.)

Mega Man.EXE - Reveal your votes now.

Megaman - Data.

X - Data.

Trigger - Data.

Data - Trigger.

Zero - Data.

Mega Man.EXE - Need I remind you morons that you've eliminated someone who hasn't gotten a single question wrong?

Megaman - Down with the monkey!

X - He's too smart for his own good!

Data - I hope you all die of a heart attack!

(Data falls down as a trapdoor opens.)

Mega Man.EXE - Apparently, legends are made up of 1 myth, 2 reality, and 97 stupid. Add a little… -makes brief series of retarded noises- …and you've got yourself the Legends series.

Trigger - Hey…

Mega Man.EXE - Oh, suck it up! Round five starts now. Megaman, in Megaman: Powered Up, why is everything chibi?

Megaman - The hell if I know.

Mega Man.EXE - Incorrect. Mr. Inafune had sniffed some pudding powder while watching Baby Geniuses before coming up with the idea. X, in Megaman: Maverick Hunter X, what change was made in the intro stage?

X - Vile had to be beaten instead of letting him beat my ass.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Trigger, in The Misadventures of Tron Bonne, Tron and the Servbots fight the first boss of the original game while looking for what?

Trigger - The Aurora Stones.

Mega Man.EXE - Not sure how you know that, but okay. Zero, T Breaker is a warhammer. What does T stand for?

Zero - Titan?

Mega Man.EXE - Works for me! Megaman, in Megaman X, you can get the Hadouken from Street Fighter. What's the difference between this one and the Hadouken in Megaman: Maverick Hunter X?

Megaman - You can save the one from Maverick Hunter X.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. X, name a Megaman 8 Robot Master who was created from an idea of a children's drawing.

X - Um… Tengu Man?

Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Tengu Man and Astro Man were the only ones not created by children's drawings. Trigger, like the Mavericks from the X series, the Robot Masters also had several animal-based characters. Name one.

Trigger - Snake Man.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Centaur Man, Tengu Man, and Slash Man were all acceptable.

Trigger - Slash Man?

Mega Man.EXE - He looks like a lion. Anyways, next question. Zero, Ciel had one apple. Leviathan had two peaches. They both had hot sex together.

Ciel - What!?

Leviathan - Excuse me while I find something sharp and pointy.

Mega Man.EXE - The question is: How turned on are you?

Zero - -at a loss for words-

Mega Man.EXE - I see I've baffled you. However, I need an answer.

Zero - -more silence-

Mega Man.EXE - I'll take your silence as your answer. In that case, you're wrong! I, on the other hand…

Leviathan - Finish that sentence and I'll shove this up your 'special' little hole.

(Leviathan holds up a long and pointy harpoon.)

Mega Man.EXE - Point proven. Anyways, voting time. Who's IQ test came back negative? Let's vote for… the weakest link.

(Everyone votes.)

Megaman - X.

X - Zero.

Trigger - X.

(Zero still has that baffled look on his face. A screen appears and he has written nothing.)

Mega Man.EXE - Look's like you're boned, X!

Leviathan - Come again?

Mega Man.EXE** - **It was just a metaphor!

X - Aw, shit…

(X falls through a trapdoor. Zero shakes his head and comes to his senses.)

Zero - I'm sorry. That question put me in a temporary coma. What'd I miss?

Mega Man.EXE - X got voted off for giving his first incorrect answer.

Zero - Who'd I vote for?

Mega Man.EXE - No one.

Zero - If I wanted to save him, who would I have to vote for?

Mega Man.EXE - Yourself.

Zero - Screw it then! He's not _that_ important to me.

X - -from hole in floor- Asshole!

Mega Man.EXE - Forgot to close the doors. -does so- Well, it's down to Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest. But who's who? Let's find out. Megaman, you are one of Capcom's greatest creations. Name the other.

Megaman - Resident Evil?

Mega Man.EXE - Incorrect. Ryu from Street Fighter. Trigger, name the ideal Servbot to make your 'favorite' in The Misadventures of Tron Bonne.

Trigger - Twenty-three?

Mega Man.EXE - Close. Twenty-seven. Zero, how disturbed where you by that last question?

Zero - Well, it put me in a temporary mental coma.

Mega Man.EXE - That works. Megaman, which version of Roll is hotter?

Megaman - That's my sister, dude!

Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Only one of them is your sister! Trigger, why hasn't Japan released Namco X Capcom in America yet?

Trigger - I dunno. The game takes about eighty hours to beat once and there's over two-hundred characters in it. Translation's gonna take a while.

Mega Man.EXE - Wrong! Those damn Japs keep the best games for themselves! Dirty stinking Jews! Raaaaah! Raaaaah! Ra…

Announcer - We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by…

(The screen returns to Mega Man.EXE, who seems calmer.)

Mega Man.EXE - -in high-pitched tone of voice- I apologize for the previous statements. I meant no disrespect to those mentioned, nor did the author.

(In the distance, Mega Man.EXE heard the distinct sound of the fourth wall being broken.)

Mega Man.EXE - -in high tone of voice- Anyways, I'm probably going to be talking like this for the rest of the show because Leviathan made good on her promise. So, let's move on. Zero, does my voice sound a bit too high-pitched?

Zero - Yeah, kind of.

Mega Man.EXE - -in high tone of voice- Correct. Now, let's… HOLY…

Announcer - More technical difficulties. Please stand by.

Mega Man.EXE - -in normal tone- That… kinda hurt…

(Leviathan is smirking, using the harpoon to hold herself up.)

Mega Man.EXE - Anyways, who's mind is like Death Valley: empty with no signs of life? Let's find out by voting off… the weakest link.

(Everyone votes.)

Megaman - Zero.

Trigger - Megaman.

Zero - Megaman.

Mega Man.EXE - Down you go!

Megaman - Wait!

(Megaman falls through a trapdoor.)

Megaman - -while falling- I can pay you!

Mega Man.EXE - Well, it's down to this. I'm going to ask you both five questions relating to video games in general. The one who answers the most correctly will win. Trigger, first question. What company made Spyro, Ratchet & Clank, and… something I can't remember the name of…

Trigger - Insomniac.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Zero, the idea that originally intended to be Sonic the Hedgehog turned into what?

Zero - Stumpy the Porcupine.

Mega Man.EXE - What?

Zero - You've never played Stumpy? You've got to play it!

Mega Man.EXE - Okay… No, that's wrong. The answer was Ristar. Trigger, Jak & Daxter has been often compared to what game francshise, created by the same company?

Trigger - Crash Bandicoot.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Zero, a game similar to Dance Dance Revolution is found on the Internet under what name?

Zero - In The Groove.

Mega Man.EXE - Wrong. Flash Flash Revolution. Trigger, Ico has been considered a what amongst video games?

Trigger - A cult-classic.

Mega Man.EXE - Correct. Zero, you must get this right to stay in the game. The game Soul Blade features this, something that wasn't in the rest of the series.

Zero - Three alternate music types.

Mega Man.EXE - Incorrect. The answer was the ability to break your weapon. Congratulations, Trigger! You are not The Weakest Link!

Trigger - Yay! I'm not stupid!

Zero - Asses…

Mega Man.EXE - Thank you for tuning in and we'll see you next season! From all of use from the Megaman franchise, stay sped, America!!

* * *

It's not over. There's one last chapter, but I'm not going to tell you what it is. You'll just have to read it when I'm done writing it out… Until then, Read and Review and I'll continue!! 


	28. Aftermath

The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Epilogue

Aftermath

* * *

MSX - And… Cut! That's a wrap, folks!

(MSX is sitting in a director's chair and the people from the Weakest Link parody sag their shoulders.)

Megaman (BN) - Finally.

Leviathan - No hard feelings about the harpoon thing?

Megaman (BN) - Nah. Sorry about the pervert thing.

Leviathan - Hey, acting is acting. You were acting, right?

Megaman (BN) - If it floats your boat, babe. -puts on sunglasses and walks off-

Leviathan - Right…

X - -from hole in ground- Can someone help me out now? I can't take Sigma's snoring much longer.

Megaman (Classic) - -from hole- Really? That doesn't sound like snoring. It sounds like…

(A brief pause follows.)

Data - -from hole- Whatever it is, it's driving my nuts!

(A few minutes later, all of the people have been rescued from the hole.)

Wily - So, you were brushing your teeth?

Sigma - Yep.

Zero (Zero, Not X) - Brushing them pretty loud. Oh well. Hey, MSX…

MSX - Ahem!

Zero - (Zero) You were kidding about the second season, right?

MSX - If it floats your boat. Why don't you guys go out somewhere. Celebrate! My treat.

X - Really? Well, in that case…

(X walks off and gives the finger to everyone in the room.)

X - Screw you, assholes! I'm gonna go to 7-11. Get me a Slupee. -leaves-

MSX - Yeah… I hope you choke on it…

Announcer - At the International House of Pancakes…

Megaman - Well, that was fun. Not really. And what's u with the sudden change?

Roll - Sudden change?

Bass - Yeah. In every chapter that we stared in, Ringman was supposed to appear somewhere. In the middle of the season, he disappears and Frost Man begins smoking Woodman.

Frostman - I'm going to counseling for that.

Protoman - Really? Who's the leader… person… thing…

Frostman - Some guy…

Roll - Really? How do you like him?

Frostman - He didn't taste very good.

(A brief silence follows.)

Megaman - You ate him?

(Frostman shakes his head.)

Bass - You smoked him? Like literally smoke him?

(Frostman nods.)

Dr. Light - This is where addiction becomes obsession. That just isn't…

Random Guy - Hi.

Dr. Light - Um… Hi…

Random Guy - Do you like chicken?

Dr. Light - Sometimes. Look, who are…

Random Guy - DO you like chicken-flavored things?

Dr. Light - I guess…

Random Guy - But! How do you know that it _is_ chicken-flavored? How do you know that is isn't something that tastes like chicken-flavored?

Dr. Light - Look, unless you want an autograph or something, I suggest you leave.

Random Guy - Answer the question… Please…

Dr. Light - Ugh! Fine. I know because I've had chicken before. I know what it tastes like.

(A brief silence follows.)

Random Guy - Touché, chicken man. Touché. -walks off-

Megaman - That was… bizarre…

Frostman - I'm nervous now. I think I know him!

Roll - Really?

Frostman - No. I need my fix.

(Frostman grabs Woodman, lights him on fire, and pops him into his mouth. He then opens a large box where two more Woodmen are standing.)

Frostman - I need to go get some more cigarettes. Anyone want anything?

(A long silence follows.)

Megaman - I'll stick with my pancakes. Thanks though.

Frostman - Asshole.

Announcer - At McDonalds…

X - Okay, two double-cheeseburger for me, fifteen for Zero, and a Happy Meal for Axl.

Axl - I'm not a fucking kid, X.

X - Of course you're not. You're a young man now!

Axl - Oh… I so hope you die of a heart attack.

Random Guy - Hi!

(X, in slow-motion, cries out and throws the food into the air. As the burgers fly into the air, Zero, in slow-mo, yells, 'My burgers!')

X - -in normal motion- Holy shit! -gets hit with several burgers- Yeah… Who are you?

Clyde - I'm Clyde. I like potatoes.

Zero - That's good for you. Now, do you want to die now or later for dropping four of my burgers on the ground?

Clyde - You know what I can't stand? Soup! What's the deal with soup?

Axl - Who is this guy?

Iris - Hell if I know.

Clyde - Soup. It's so… watery. Why not call it water with flavor? I mean, you can't even eat it with a fork!

Zero - Look, dumbass. You're supposed to eat soup with a spoon.

(A brief silence follows.)

Clyde - Touché, soup man. Touché. -walks off-

X - Who the hell was that?

Colonel - Hell if I know.

Sigma - Hey, guys.

Everyone Else - Hey, ass-chin.

(Sigma stops and slowly exhales.)

Sigma - The show's over you know.

Axl - I know. But it's a nice habit. I'm gonna keep it.

Sigma - Why, you son of a…

Announcer - At the Olive Garden…

Trigger - Well, doesn't this kick ass.

Juno - Yes. I am not sure who's ass is being kicked, but it is apparently being kicked.

Data - Brilliant deduction, numnuts.

Roll - Why'd we have to pick on Data the whole season?

Tron - Look at him! He's a teacup with legs.

(Data suddenly attains massive weaponry and buff muscles.)

Data - I suggest you take that back.

Clyde - I must report this to MSX…

Roll - Huh?

Clyde - Hi! I like potatoes.

Juno - That's nice.

Clyde - What's up with ice cream? It's cold. It melts. It has 31 different flavors. Why didn't someone tell me that Jesus was back?!

Yuna - Dude, Baskin Robbins is an ice cream place. Everyone knows about it.

Clyde - Touché, ice cream man. Touché.

Yuna - What?

Clyde - Well, I can't say that that was the first time that I said that today.

Sera - Go away. My IQ's been steadily dropping since you got here.

Clyde - Very well. I must report to MSX. -leaves-

Trigger - I'm going to call the Zero series. Tell them what's up.

Juno - You do that. And while you're at it, give this to the waitress.

(Juno hands Trigger a bomb.)

Juno - I asked for breadsticks an hour ago.

Trigger - We've only been here five minutes.

Juno - Oh… I probably shouldn't have activated that then, huh?

Announcer - At Baker's Square…

Phantom - Pie! Glorious pie!

(Zero gets up, stabs Phantom, and sits down.)

Leviathan - Poor guy. It must've been hard for him dying in every one of our parodies.

Zero - He'll get use to it.

Harpuia - Guys, I just got a call from Trigger. Apparently, there's this crazy guy named Clyde walking around bugging everyone.

(Harpuia starts when he realizes Clyde is poking Zero in the arm with a fork.)

Zero - Ya think?

Clyde - Hi. I'm Clyde. I like…

Zero - I like to kill things.

Clyde - Really? What if I told you I was immortal?

Fefnir - I'd say you'd be lying.

Clyde - Uh-huh. Well, watch this.

(Clyde smashes his head on a wall, stumbles around, and spreads his arms into a 'Ta-da!' stance.)

Leviathan - Well, it was special.

Clyde - I can also walk on water.

Zero - Bullshit.

(Clyde grabs a glass of water and throws it on the floor. He walks across it and spreads his arms again.)

Fefnir - I'm ready to kill this guy. Anyone wanna join?

Zero - I will.

Leviathan - Count me in.

Harpuia - -draws swords- You're dead, asswipe.

Clyde - That's no way to talk to Jesus.

(A long silence follows.)

Clyde - MSX wants you back at the studio. Toodles! -hops away-

Ciel - Bizarre.

Announcer - An hour later, back at the studio…

MSX - I have just learned that someone has stolen the season premiere for First Impressions.

Trigger - What's that?

MSX - The name of the show. The Random Megaman Parody Show: First Impressions. By the time I post this chapter, I'll have changed the name.

(MSX holds up a plaster wall and punches through it.)

X - So, what do we do?

MSX - You do two things. You can A.) Find the tape. And B.) Get ready for…

(The door is blown in as the Command Mission cast and the Battle Network series walks in.)

MSX - …Second Offense.

Megaman (Classic) - Wait! -looks back and forth between the Battle Network series and MSX- Second Offense… That doesn't refer to the show does it?

(MSX nods slowly.)

Roll (Legends) - A second season?!

Zero (X) - Someone shoot me now!

MSX - Say hello to your new cast members. They've signed on for a season, which will be called The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense.

Tron - Before I hurl, when is this going to come out?

MSX - As soon as you finish the first parody.

Harpuia - Which is… when?

MSX - Within the week. Now move it! We've got a show to do!

Everyone Else - NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

* * *

Well, that does it for the first season. I'll post the second one as soon as I can. Thanks to those who read this fanfic and, if you have something you'd like me to make a parody of (I refuse to do Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter), then e-mail (the address is on my profile page) or review me and say what it is. So, until next time, Read and Review and I shall continue to rob you of your IQ points!! 


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